blueprotegelx
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Just like the title says "What's everyone's thoughts and feelings on joining a Fraternity while in college?"
What's everyone's thoughts and feelings on joining a Fraternity while in college?
- Thread starter blueprotegelx
- Start date
1. It costs a fortune to join some of them, that seems to me like buying friends.
2. They generally humiliate and abuse the pledges that want in. Why would you want to be friends with people that would pull that kind of s*** on you?
3. Personally, I know that I wouldn't want people to judge me based on the actions of a bunch of other guys (including those who have graduated before I ever got there,) that I have no control over. Frats earn reputations, those reputations become well-known, people will judge you based on the frat you belong to. If you're ok with all that, knock yourself out!
2. They generally humiliate and abuse the pledges that want in. Why would you want to be friends with people that would pull that kind of s*** on you?
3. Personally, I know that I wouldn't want people to judge me based on the actions of a bunch of other guys (including those who have graduated before I ever got there,) that I have no control over. Frats earn reputations, those reputations become well-known, people will judge you based on the frat you belong to. If you're ok with all that, knock yourself out!
Notorious_V.I.C
Member
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- 2003.5 MSP
My thoughts, depending on the FRAT you join, you can get;
1)Connects which can really be helpful
2) Get ASS and I mean damn
3) Parties
4)Experience in a lot of things and s***
Really though it costs a lot of money and well if you can maintain good grades and go to all the rush events and meetings once you become a brother then go ahead. Only thing is a lot of them are expensive.
Like what FOOLISH said, you really want to pay people to be your friends when they probably just smile cause your a fellow bro?
What are your thoughts, why do you want to join a FRAT??
I myself have stayed away because of the costs, but would like to try it some day. And don't join one cause you just because everyone is. Join one for a reason...I dunno it depends on you
1)Connects which can really be helpful
2) Get ASS and I mean damn
3) Parties
4)Experience in a lot of things and s***
Really though it costs a lot of money and well if you can maintain good grades and go to all the rush events and meetings once you become a brother then go ahead. Only thing is a lot of them are expensive.
Like what FOOLISH said, you really want to pay people to be your friends when they probably just smile cause your a fellow bro?
What are your thoughts, why do you want to join a FRAT??
I myself have stayed away because of the costs, but would like to try it some day. And don't join one cause you just because everyone is. Join one for a reason...I dunno it depends on you
blueprotegelx
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wow. you've pretty much said everything i agree with. that's the only reason my g/f wants to join is b/c she isn't makin friends here. the dorm life sucks especially being 22. but i completely agree with everything you said.
blueprotegelx
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I do and I don't. My main thing is I completely agree with FOOLISH and I also agree with you about the connections. But I've made a lot of connections as well. I just dont see a point in payin money to get "respect." and my g/f wants to join but she wont since i won't join a frat so were constantly arguing when we do talk about it! i don't want her to join either b/c i've had a few friends in it and they've partied so much cheated on their g/fs and didn't do that well in classes. maybe it's just them i don't know
Notorious_V.I.C
Member
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- 2003.5 MSP
Yea I feel you bro i'm 22 too. And dorm life is F**king boring right now. Nothin to do. Well there is always temptation when your in a FRAT a lot of girls will want to hook up, I've heard of it but haven't seen it. Only ever went to one rush event last semester, and after I heard about the cost I was like screw this I;m not done with tuning my MSP.
The thing about your girl, is the sorority she wants to join chill with the FRAT your thinkin of joining?? One other thing is if you don't like beef most FRATs dont get a long with others and just act up. Best thing is to do is to go to the events but beware these guys will act chill with you at first because they want you to join, and your money.
I like the formals they have reminds me of Senior Ball back in HS they have events that are awesome and other things. A lot of people just do it for the experience and like you said make friends, exclusive events are nice from what I have heard from...FRAT Guys are just more appealing to females...I seriously think you should let your girl know you'll rush a few frats or events and see where it goes from there.
The thing about your girl, is the sorority she wants to join chill with the FRAT your thinkin of joining?? One other thing is if you don't like beef most FRATs dont get a long with others and just act up. Best thing is to do is to go to the events but beware these guys will act chill with you at first because they want you to join, and your money.
I like the formals they have reminds me of Senior Ball back in HS they have events that are awesome and other things. A lot of people just do it for the experience and like you said make friends, exclusive events are nice from what I have heard from...FRAT Guys are just more appealing to females...I seriously think you should let your girl know you'll rush a few frats or events and see where it goes from there.
Notorious_V.I.C
Member
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- 2003.5 MSP
That's what I'm trying to do right now, Internship Interview with the Feds next month and focusing on school.
BTW, what area of expertise are you in, that you are hiring??
I suppose if you narrow it down to that, it's more about "having that college experience" Just watching Animal House makes me wanna join haha
BTW, what area of expertise are you in, that you are hiring??
I suppose if you narrow it down to that, it's more about "having that college experience" Just watching Animal House makes me wanna join haha
Internship is a damn good plan. Unless you're strapped for cash, go for good work experience over $$ when considering internships.
My area is software engineering, but on a corporate recruiting campus visit I'll do initial interviews for many engineering fields.
I'm not saying don't have fun. But be aware top companies do an initial screen based on GPA.
My area is software engineering, but on a corporate recruiting campus visit I'll do initial interviews for many engineering fields.
I'm not saying don't have fun. But be aware top companies do an initial screen based on GPA.
gone_fishin
Member
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- One of a Kind '99
I am a fraternity alumni, and was in a fraternity throughout college. Here's some pointers based on my experiences. I should add that I was friends with the majority of my brothers before I decided to join. I suggest you get to know the fraternity you're thinking about pledging before you do it.
1.) As someone said, the financial aspect can be significant for some fraternities. For others, it's minimal. Regardless, if it's a chartered fraternity, you will have to pay new member fees (not cheap), and semesterly dues (not cheap either). Depending on your fraternity and if you live in their house, the ammount of the semesterly dues can vary significantly (some include housing and utilities).
2.) The rushing and pledging process for any fraternity is a significant time committment. While the rushing process is generally fun, the pledging process is not by any means. The difficulty of the pledging process varies between fraternities, and so does the nature of the process. But one thing is certain-- you will be hazed. The pledging process can last anywhere from 4-10 weeks (generally). Expect it to be easier for the first week, and to pick up from there. You will be expected to learn and memorize tons of fraternity information, do tons of ridiculous things, do tons of physical activity, and be at the beck and call of all the brothers 24/7. Expect lots of intimidation tactics, mind games, and tricks. The last few weeks will be brutal (hell week or hell weeks), generally culminating at the end with a single night of hell prior to your induction-- that night will be the worst of all. Expect to be dedicating virtually your life to those two weeks. Forget about making progress in school during that time-- it will interupt everything.
3.) You will not like all of your brothers, and not every one of them will treat you like one. The concept of "brotherhood" in a fraternity is not what you'd think it is-- i.e. it's generally not real. After about a semester in my fraternity, I realized that it's like one big disfunctional family. You'll have a lot of fake dudes that you dislike, have little in common with, and don't get along with. But you'll undoubtedly make a handful of very close friends. There will be bad apples in every group, and this is no exception. Only you can decide if it's worth having to deal with these assholes on a regular basis, and all the bulls*** that goes on in fraternities.
4.) ACADEMICS is the most important thing in college. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are there to get your degree and to be successful, not to party. It is your responsibility to do your best in school. A fraternity will constantly be challenging your dedication to academics. This is a big disadvantage. Even if you try to divorce yourself from it as much as possible, you will constantly be getting sucked into fraternity obligations.
1.) As someone said, the financial aspect can be significant for some fraternities. For others, it's minimal. Regardless, if it's a chartered fraternity, you will have to pay new member fees (not cheap), and semesterly dues (not cheap either). Depending on your fraternity and if you live in their house, the ammount of the semesterly dues can vary significantly (some include housing and utilities).
2.) The rushing and pledging process for any fraternity is a significant time committment. While the rushing process is generally fun, the pledging process is not by any means. The difficulty of the pledging process varies between fraternities, and so does the nature of the process. But one thing is certain-- you will be hazed. The pledging process can last anywhere from 4-10 weeks (generally). Expect it to be easier for the first week, and to pick up from there. You will be expected to learn and memorize tons of fraternity information, do tons of ridiculous things, do tons of physical activity, and be at the beck and call of all the brothers 24/7. Expect lots of intimidation tactics, mind games, and tricks. The last few weeks will be brutal (hell week or hell weeks), generally culminating at the end with a single night of hell prior to your induction-- that night will be the worst of all. Expect to be dedicating virtually your life to those two weeks. Forget about making progress in school during that time-- it will interupt everything.
3.) You will not like all of your brothers, and not every one of them will treat you like one. The concept of "brotherhood" in a fraternity is not what you'd think it is-- i.e. it's generally not real. After about a semester in my fraternity, I realized that it's like one big disfunctional family. You'll have a lot of fake dudes that you dislike, have little in common with, and don't get along with. But you'll undoubtedly make a handful of very close friends. There will be bad apples in every group, and this is no exception. Only you can decide if it's worth having to deal with these assholes on a regular basis, and all the bulls*** that goes on in fraternities.
4.) ACADEMICS is the most important thing in college. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are there to get your degree and to be successful, not to party. It is your responsibility to do your best in school. A fraternity will constantly be challenging your dedication to academics. This is a big disadvantage. Even if you try to divorce yourself from it as much as possible, you will constantly be getting sucked into fraternity obligations.
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gone_fishin
Member
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- One of a Kind '99
I should add that contrary to popular belief, fraternities that haze sexually are in the minority. There was none of that in mine.
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Join a club of some sort..
No ridiculous initiation rights, doesn't cost as much (if anything), and you'll enjoy it more.
A couple friends of mine started a motorsports club on campus.. That was a lot more fun.
No ridiculous initiation rights, doesn't cost as much (if anything), and you'll enjoy it more.
A couple friends of mine started a motorsports club on campus.. That was a lot more fun.
I liked mine in the beginning then hated it at the end of college.
The first year or two was great fun, lots of parties, girls and general college craziness. Lots of fun!
Then it got a little old after a while. When you have crazy hard classes and people are partying till 3am everynight next door or down the hall it can really wear on you.
I would like to mention that it really depends on your college as well. Some colleges are HEAVILY based on fraturnities for off campus events and social life. While others dont really have much of a Greek base.
Do whatever you want, maybe get an apartment that is in a really social enviroment. Or a club, I was in a ski club ( snow skiing) and they partied just as hard as my Fraturnity.
The first year or two was great fun, lots of parties, girls and general college craziness. Lots of fun!
Then it got a little old after a while. When you have crazy hard classes and people are partying till 3am everynight next door or down the hall it can really wear on you.
I would like to mention that it really depends on your college as well. Some colleges are HEAVILY based on fraturnities for off campus events and social life. While others dont really have much of a Greek base.
Do whatever you want, maybe get an apartment that is in a really social enviroment. Or a club, I was in a ski club ( snow skiing) and they partied just as hard as my Fraturnity.
rush and see if it's for you. there's no harm in rushing and you'll be able to get a good read of the house and the people in it.
i was in a fraternity in college. it was cheaper to live in the house than to live anywhere else in the city including all dues which, in my house at least, were used to buy alcohol for parties (except for nationals which, iirc, was relatively small, like $100/year?, and i think we had that built into rent so it wasn't a big deal), so it's not like you're just giving money away. we had a cook too and iirc food and rent was less than just rent if you lived on campus. i was in a soccer house for the most part and given that rush was in october i already knew a lot of the brothers pretty well since soccer season was almost over. had i not i don't know that i would have joined; your best bet to do this is through rush events. don't go in saying "i want to join a fraternity, which one works?" go in saying "i'm considering joining a fraternity, let me learn about what's involved and the people then i'll decide." every school and every chapter is VERY different with fraternities. for anyone to give a blanket yes/no is absurd
i was in a fraternity in college. it was cheaper to live in the house than to live anywhere else in the city including all dues which, in my house at least, were used to buy alcohol for parties (except for nationals which, iirc, was relatively small, like $100/year?, and i think we had that built into rent so it wasn't a big deal), so it's not like you're just giving money away. we had a cook too and iirc food and rent was less than just rent if you lived on campus. i was in a soccer house for the most part and given that rush was in october i already knew a lot of the brothers pretty well since soccer season was almost over. had i not i don't know that i would have joined; your best bet to do this is through rush events. don't go in saying "i want to join a fraternity, which one works?" go in saying "i'm considering joining a fraternity, let me learn about what's involved and the people then i'll decide." every school and every chapter is VERY different with fraternities. for anyone to give a blanket yes/no is absurd
blueprotegelx
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a majority of you have mentioned about the frat's having houses. here at eastern the frat's nor sororitites have houses. some have apartments together but nothing like other schools. i know the college back home there is a street for the frat and sor housings. right now i feel like i'm joining b/c of my girl. and i do not want to join for that reason. and here lately i'm just completely bummed out. i just got into the honors program and they pay for half tuition and all your books as long as you maintain a 3.0. there is two frat's that i would join based on their community service and some of the guys there. i've just always had a negative image on frats and i feel that's what's keeping me from even wanting to look into them.
just forget any image you have of them and make your own determination. ask questionso of people in them, go to rush events, obviously you're already on campus so you should have heard things about each house.
from my experience the people who didn't live in the house were not as close to the people in the house so it makes me doubt how close the brothers there really are. one of the best parts of being in a fraternity is living in the house with 40 of your closest friends. it does get annoying sometimes but overall it's great
i'd also say don't jeopardize school. you're paying a lot of money for it. do well. it is possible to do well and be in a fraternity but some people have trouble with that. some people in my house ended up taking 5 years to graduate, others didn't graduate, others got their master's in 5 years, others went on and are now working on their doctorate, and everything in between. make sure you can manage the balance. ask the current brothers what sort of time requirement there is
from my experience the people who didn't live in the house were not as close to the people in the house so it makes me doubt how close the brothers there really are. one of the best parts of being in a fraternity is living in the house with 40 of your closest friends. it does get annoying sometimes but overall it's great
i'd also say don't jeopardize school. you're paying a lot of money for it. do well. it is possible to do well and be in a fraternity but some people have trouble with that. some people in my house ended up taking 5 years to graduate, others didn't graduate, others got their master's in 5 years, others went on and are now working on their doctorate, and everything in between. make sure you can manage the balance. ask the current brothers what sort of time requirement there is
Discretion'sMX6
Member
It sounds like she's made up her mind that she's going to join and it appears that she may not see you the same way if you are not a member of a fraternity.
I joined a fraternity in college and it was a great experience. Beyond the money and parties, I learned how to run a business which essentially what it all boils down to in dealing with meetings, money, being organized, etc. Everyone's experience won't be the same.
My main concern for you is whether she is putting value on you being a part of a fraternity to maintain your relationship. She may want to be that sorority chick who only hangs out with fraternity boys and you may not be worth her time if she joins and you don't.
is this a coed fraternity? are there such things or is she joing a sorority and you a fraternity? i've seen greek organizations that call themselves fraternities but are really just community service groups. APO is an example. is it a real fraternity or a greek community service group?
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