Help me with my girl problems please

[zmepro]

Ok, here's the deal, I don't know what the hell to do about my relationship w/ my gf and i don't know where to turn so im just gonna write about it here and mabye someone will have some advice or comments.

I'm 19 and so is my gf and we have been going out for about 1 1/2 years and change. we met in high school and then she went off to school were we had a long distance relationship for one school year.

now that she is back (and leaving soon) things are wierd, she is happy one minute, pissed at me the next, one minute she will be all over me, then next she doesn't let me touch her. (no, it isn't PMS)

she keeps telling me i need to be more romantic and always tells me what is wrong about me/her/us

she wants to be with me, she has planned her next like 10 years around us, but i don't know, when she pulls this s***, i get sick of it, and it has been happening alot recently. one day everything is fine, next everything is ****** up for some reason or another, she almost seems to find things to **** up to make me feel like s***

i mean, i still love her, but im gettin tired of this s***

what do i do? (see attacted poll)

 

[anarchistchiken]

Let her go. If you were meant to be together you wouldnt have to be asking this question. I mean I dont know how you really feel and I cant say how much you really love each other or not, but from what you said, and with her being away all the time, it might just be time to move on.

 

[2K3 MSP]

I agree with anarchistchiken. Let her go, at least for now. You are too young to get stuck in a relaitonship that takes that much effort to please her. I'm only 22, but when I look back on the things I did when I was 19, I know I've grown up a lot(and experienced a lot) since then. Stay friends if possible, and if things were meant to be, try dating again when you two don't have so much outside pressure on you, like school and a long term relationship. That's only an outsiders opinion, but I've been in your shoes...2 1/2 years with my ex, and it gradually just fell apart. We don't even talk anyore, and honestly, we were best friends...You don't want that to happen.

 

[1sty]

First thing, If she is on orthotricyclin for birth control, get her to switch. That s*** is what makes most women that age out of there damn minds. I was ready to kill my girlfriend on a hourly basis while she was on that s***. My friend actualy mentioned he and his women were having issues and once she was off it for a month everything was fine. Keep in mind that crap makes there hormones act like they are pregnant indefinitly = NO fun

If she isn't on it then its possible just the stress of school and the distance is getting to her. If she can't take it then its not worth the agrivation. I would go to here honestly and say her attidude is making you want to call it off.

 

[MazdaspeedZOOM]

she keeps telling me i need to be more romantic and always tells me what is wrong about me/her/us

one day everything is fine, next everything is ****** up for some reason or another,

I kinda know what your going through in some aspect in reference to the above mostly. Me and my GF have been dating for about 10months now and like any relationship we have our good times and our bad times, not really bad but just upsetting. I know sometimes it seems like there is nothing that you can do, but if she and the relationship are worth it and you truly do love her the way you say you do, then you need to figure out a way to make things better for you and her. My GF always tells me that I need to listen more, and I know i try to but I'm not the smartest person, and sometimes things confuse me or I don't understand and I know she gets frustrated at me but we still work our hardest to get through everything. As far as being romantic, spotinaity is the best way to bring back some romance. This one time when me and my girlfriend were arguing I showed up at her house unexpected and it made things a lot better, also one time I brought her a single rose, it was extremely inexpensive but she has told me numerous times how much she appreciated it. Another thing my GF mentions a lot to me is how important communication is. I know it's hard to think of things to talk about, but you just have to, you have to find a way to keep the communication channels open, and try and make it so she can feel comfortable talking to you, and she knows your comfortable talking to her, espcially about all that "feelings" malarky that most guys (including myself) don't like to talk about. Sometimes we just need to suck it up and try our hardest, god knows I am, and I will keep trying for as long as it takes, because I love her and she loves me, and I know we can make it work. Just think about what's important to you, and if she's worth it then make an effort, I gurantee that alone will start things on there way to improvement.

 

[AGR]

Your young,,,take your time,,,,don't rush into anything. Love can take you in. It's hard hearing "If it's meant to be - then it will be"....

I know, I am really happy to be out of the dating circus!!

 

[fkmp5]

i noticed the first poll response you posted was "dump her".. is that the first thing on your mind??

anyway, you'll learn this the hard way, but relationships should just work with little to no effort. good luck and enjoy life while you can!!

 

[PeaB0dy]

Listen to your gut..

It's the best when it comes to most stuff, it's you telling yourself the truth, even if you don't want to hear it..

The fact that there was a seperation for a year because of school is also a problem. She has changed, and her life isn't growing on the same line as yours..

 

[RyanJayG]

kay sera sera

 

[MazdaProbeGT]

anyway, you'll learn this the hard way, but relationships should just work with little to no effort.

not true... relationships take effort!!! a lot sometimes!! You need to try to keep her happy... you can't neglect her or take her for granted or you WILL be having problems forever... I guarantee if you try harder to make her feel like a princess, you WON'T be having these problems. And in return, you'll be happier cuz she'll be treating you better too. It's a WIN-WIN. Go buy her some flowers, listen to her, take her to a romantic dinner, pinic, whatever.. just show her that you care about her, always.

 

[Sonny]

TAKE FROM AN OLD FART, RELATIONSHIPS TAKE SOME WORK. NONE OF THEM ARE PERFECT. COMMUNICATION IS THE FIRST STEP, LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. LET HER KNOW THAT SOMETIMES IT NOT WHAT SHE SAYS THATS HURTS YOU BUT HOW SHE SAYS IT. I TELL MY WIFE(all the time) PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. IF SHE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH SCHOOL OR OTHER ISSUES THAT YOUR NOT INVOLVED IN THAN IT'S OK TO USE YOUR EAR BUT YOUR NOT HER WIPPING BOY. TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND WANT TO HELP HER IN ANY WAY BUT THAT YOU WILL ALSO WALK AWAY FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND.. YOU ARE TO YOUNG TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF BS. WHEN YOU GET OLDER AND MARRIED THEN YOU'LL HAVE NO CHOICE. WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY GUYS HAVE PUNCHING BAG IN THERE GARAGE. OH YA ON HER 10 YEAR PLAN(married woman talk) DO YOU GET ANY SAY IN IT? DO YOU GET TO PICK ANY OF THE COLORS? THE BOTH OF YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG BE MAKING 10 YEAR PLANS. i'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS AND WE TAKE IT ONE YEAR AT A TIME AND AS LONG AS WE DON'T KILL EACH OTHER IN THAT YEAR THAN WE TRY FOR ANOTHER YEAR NOT TO KILL EACH OTHER. YA WE PLAN FOR OUR CHILDERNS FUTURE AND WHEN WE COULD AFFORD TO BUY A HOUSE MAJOR STUFF LIKE THAT BUT FOR THE MOST PART IT'S BY THE SEAT-OF-OUR-PANTS. GOOD LUCK AND BE BLESSED.

 

[Familia323]

First off.... ask yourself do you REALLY love her? Would you want to spend the rest of your life with this girl? Is it worth the effort on your part to mend your relationship? I'm 20, so I know exactly where you are coming from on this.. However, college has a way of really changing people. Especially when you aren't in contact with that person all the time. But seriously, this is where you have to be selfish and think about the plans you had for your life. Can you still accomplish all your life goals while dating this girl? Or will you have to sacrifice something for her? I say, If you have to sacrifice any major things you had planned for your future...break it off with her. It's not worth it, because you will resent her for it somewhere in the future and that won't be good for your relationship. If you are under 21 and have doubts about being with a girl... just break it off nicely... be friends, do your thing.. and if it's meant to be then it will happen..

 

[Sain't]

Dump her. Been there. When you go off to college, everything gets all F-ed up.

 

[MisterT]

I chose other

You two may need to have some distance from each other. I mean, you sound like you like her a lot and have 1 1/2 years invested, so if you don't want to leave her, then have some time apart from each other. Lastly, you guys need to talk! Ask her point blank, you are not a mind reader, what is going on. Get it out in the open so you can get this thing resolved instead of I think this or that s***. Communication is the number one reason why things may not work between couples. Both have to be good at it. I was always open about my feelings, but my now ex, was never open about s***. It may have lasted if she was just more open to what was going on most of the time instead of assuming I should know.

 

[boostisgood]

College girls suck, trust me on this. Get one that is out of college, and has not atachments to her school chums/sorority/ect ect. They will try to keep living that college life, even at home, even after being out for 3 years.

Find a chick that is into cars, likes to suck dick, and wont ask twice about getting any in return.

 

[515speed]

(direct) dump that b****

 

[MarkSpark]

College girls suck, trust me on this. Get one that is out of college, and has not atachments to her school chums/sorority/ect ect. They will try to keep living that college life, even at home, even after being out for 3 years.

Find a chick that is into cars, likes to suck dick, and wont ask twice about getting any in return.

Jesus man. Do those kind of girls even exist, especially the last part?

 

[1sty]

Jesus man. Do those kind of girls even exist, especially the last part?

Yes but they tend to be money grubbing retards that will suck any dick.

Get a women that is more involved with her school work then with "school" aka parties and various BS!

 

[cbcbd]

Not worth the trouble. You're both in college now, people can change a lot in college. Break it off now and trust me, you'll be happier for it.

AND find a girl WHILE in college. You just have to know where to look. Trust me, that's where you'll have the most exposure to nice girls (and bitches too). The real world is a b**** for finding girls, especially if you don't want to hunt in a bar or club.

 

[EL Gee]

yOU GUYS DON'T SEE THE OBVIOUS! sHE HAS PROBABLY BEEN AROUND SOMEONE OR SOMEONE HANGING AROUND HER AT SCHOOL AND SHE KINDA LIKES THINGS ABOUT HIM OR HER (IT IS 2003). SHE STILL WANTS TO BE WITH YOU BUT WANTS TO SEE YOU HAVE MORE OF THOSE TRAITS FROM THIS OTHER INDIVISUAL AT SCHOOL. IT'S HUMAN NATURE PEOPLE, SHE HAS HAD A CHANCE TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD. IT HAS HAPPENED TO ALL OF US. GO TO DIFFERENT TOWNS AND START DIGGING HOW PEOPLE ACT OR TALK OR THEY MUSIC CHOICES. YOU STILL HAVE THE CHOICE GIVEUP OR GROW WITH HER!