pod racing
So, where is the pod that shows razor jacks, oil slick meter, smokescreen, radar targeting, grille-mount machine gun ammo count, ECM, distance to Hazzard county, tread depth, Tokyo stock ticker, current Miss America whereabouts and forehead temp., Losers bracket in the playoffs, contents of trunk, etc.? I mean, if we're gonna start MONITORING stuff, let's quit girling around and rip out the center console and replace it with a flat plasma screen with readouts for all this stuff and more! Hook it to the 'Net with a T1 Sat-link, put one of those funky pot-pie tin turn-and-click controllers like that BMW thingee has. Voice activate everything and let the car respond with a perky British accent! I want cameras mounted on every corner and at various other strategic spots along the car body so I can replay my drive home and edit it to music to make it look dramatic. I want a stack of 80 gig hard drives holding every song known to man looped to infinity! I want a hologram of Bela Lugosi projected into the passenger seat giving tips on driving, cooking, typecasting, etc. I want a car that not only changes COLOR from every angle, but configuration as well! Think of it: It looks like an MP3 dead-on, but at 5 degree intervals it changes, until finally from the rear it looks like a 1973 Chevy impala wagon woodside! Better yet, it just flippin' disappears! I want a fan in the dash that blows the scent of fresh-cooked bacon instead of the boring radar detector beeps we're sooooo used to. Maybe make the glovebox a microwave oven! Beat that! Maybe put GLOVES in the glovebox! How about a HUD that projects points on each potential pedestrian kill? While it's at it, it can tell you if they have an innie or an AUDI!
Oh, and a urinal.
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