Girl Troubles...

[Bass Addict]

Well, I noticed a lot of guys were posting about when they had some trouble with girls and whatnot...so I guess I will. So, I liked this girl, and we started hanging out and stuff as just friends and then we started hanging out more and more. Now, she's like my best friend...we hang out with each other ALL the time. I let her know like 3 months ago that I had feelings for her, and I couldn't hide them any longer and I needed to know exactly what we were. She said that we are just friends, and I think that hearing that coming from here was enough for me to get over her. Now, we hang out tons, and I can talk to her about everything. Its kinda nice, because my best friend of all my life has gotten EXTREMELY involved in church (which is good, but I'm not as invovled as he is) and I haven't really had anyone to talk to. Now, she dated this guy like 3 years ago (we are seniors in hs now) and they didn't date very long. This guy has completely changed, and is a big partier now. (something we aren't, and something she doesnt like) But, she has gone out with him (she says as just friends) twice so far, and I can't help but be jealous. I dunno, I just needed to vetn and I don't really know what advice I should ask from you all. I think I need a gf too, but I still have feelings for this girl and we are really close....(boom03)

 

[MisterT]

Not much you can do there. I would still be friends with her, but maybe see her less and talk to her a little less and see if she misses you any. Sometimes women don't realize what they have until it is gone. Women are weird like that.

 

[Mr. Win]

yea basicly dont be jealous... relieze its highschool and dont worry about who she dates... misters advice is pretty good as well.

 

[txrxs]

just be friends with her, inevitably you will become jealous and get bad with her. It's not worth it at all. In all honesty, don't even sweat that s***, you'll be in college and s*** will be so much different. It really depends on where you are in your life but if i were you i'd just have fun while you can. I havent ever been in a relationship for longer that one month before i graduated college and i dont regret a damn thing i've done. All chicks are crazy, don't worry about having a girlfriend until you find the real right one. Until then just have fun and enjoy being able to date who ever you want.

 

[TXMazdaSpeeder]

just be the friend man, im in the exact same posisition. i love this girl to death but we are just friends and i cant help but be jealous about the guys she dates. however when they **** up she always has me to talk to which i think she appreciates greatly.

 

[Iggy]

What he said. Im in the exact same position

 

[MPChi]

If she doesn't share the same feelings as you do, don't force it. Many girls seem to be able to be really close to you, share everything with you, hang out with you, even borrowing your shoulders and all, but still not falling for you. They seem to see closeness & romance as two totally different thing. So really, there is no point feeling jealous, as she was never yours to begin with. And don't waste time sticking around hoping she'll change her mind, after you show her how good of a man you might be. It may work in movies, but in reality, it most likely end up being a one sided relationship that wouldn't last. Once she sees that she doesn't like you as much as you do, or find someone she has stronger feelings for, she'll leave you behind.

Too bad things are that way, but its better for you to move on, before you get your feelings too deep when there isn't much hope there. You can stay as friends, good friends even. But keep some distance from her as long as you find yourself still having feelings for her, cause you'll end up just torturing yourself by seeing her dating different guys when its not necessary. Hope you can find someone that can return your feelings.

 

[Poseur]

Friendships are much more important than "dating" or whatever, I can tell you that a good friend is worth MUCH more than a girlfriend. And alot fo times the good friendto dating thing only serves to destroy everything. Sure there's always gonna be some tension especially at your ages (not trying to sound degrading) just that there's lots of that goingon in h/s. Granted once one mentions wanting something more it changes things in general. If you just can't stand being around her without being her everything, then I'd defately just backoff, can't force yourself into anyone's life. But honestly, man female friends are some of the best to have. PLUS they come in quite handy should you ever need insider advice.

 

[Phoenix5]

I'm in the same boat he's in,so I'll take those words of wisdom too!!!

 

[MisterT]

Another thing to consider is that long lasting relationships start off with a strong foundation. Friendship is the basis of a romance. My uncle who was married for 9 or so years was happily married and was friends before they got hitched. They would even match each other up with friends and other people before realizing their love for each other. He screwed up which is why they are not still together, and every day he regrets not seeking counseling as she suggested.

 

[cbcbd]

MPChi said it right.
Many people, not just women, see closeness & romance as two separate things. When you are young you have many built up expectations about who you will be with. Usually these expectations are too high and we become too critical of everyone we are with (kind of like Seinfeld) and never end up with anyone.
You like her and accept her. She accepts you but she has to realize that your bond is special on her own.
Sorry man, nothing you can do but find someone else and keep her as the friend on the side. Once you open up yourself to finding someone good for you you won't even think about your good friend. Besides, it's always good to have that one friend of the opposite sex that you can go to when you are having problems with your own relationship.

 

[CommieSpeed]

You never know what can happen...I ended up dating my best friend and roomate for 3 1/2 years...best relationship I have had yet, even though it ended!! (she was fiiine)

 

[Bass Addict]

Poseur and MisterT, thanks guys...thats the kinda advice I needed to hear.

 

[CometVR4]

Once you fall into the 'friends zone' you are not coming back out

 

[noclue119]

You are S.O.L... Try someone else

 

[Bass Addict]

I'm not "trying" for her, what happens will happen. And a friendship will last a hell of a lot longer than anything more would. She's a great girl, and I can't say forget you too, just because she likes someone else and she can't be mine. I'll accept it, and it'll just take time.

 

[yanyan]

Take a chance man... ionno, if you dont you might miss out on something you'll never know about. Take the chance, you only live once, if you get turned down, at least you'll know you tried right? I say just do it man, do whatever you can do to show your feelings for her, and find out if she has any feelings for you.

 

[MP3skaterNC]

i didn't read the thread, but phdts anyway.

 

[AZDriftR]

girls at that age are just plain confused as to what they want... she doesnt want the safe guy (you)... dont get jelious when she hangs out with other guys, girls hate that! just go for it... you may be turned down and the friendship may suffer alil, but if you never take that chance you will never know what could happen... NO REGRETS MAN!!!!!!

 

[redfyre]

I married my best(girl)friend. We'd been friends since highschool (over 12 years ago) and it just clicked in a few years ago. We took a trip to South Africa with her parents and I bought a diamond and some 18K gold and had a custom ring made from it.