Confessions of a Car addict..... why are we so addicted to modifying cars?
- Thread starter azian6er
- Start date
- :
- carbon grey 2005 SP23 sedan
wow. I'm logging off and getting back to finishing up some work right now...(eekdance)
but seriously tho, I went through a little phase where all I could do was search through things on the forum and find out what to do to my car. My bank account thanks me that I didn't actually go through with most of it. But I think it's ok to mod cars as a hobby, but once it becomes a destructive habit then it might be time to ask for help.
You say you're "past the point of no return," but really, are you? I mean, do you not have the personal control and willpower to just stop spending all this cash on your car? You could end up losing your gf (who sounds REALLY supportive and I don't mean financially). Yes, you've got nice internals now, but it might be nice to wait and finish up school before sinking another few grand into the car. Get a nice job and a nice salary, then make sure you budget wisely and stick to that budget like a man of the cloth sticks to his dogma. But for now, you can stop whenever you want. It's called "irrational escalation of loss." It's like buying a lotto ticket, and you don't win the first time, so you say "well I'll buy another cuz if I went this time it'll make up for the money I lost on the first time." And then you lose again and try a third time, when really you should just cut your losses and run after the first or second time. Learn and move on.
Good luck to ya. And never rule out therapy. Seriously. If everybody in the entire world went to therapy, even just once a month, the world would be a better place!
but seriously tho, I went through a little phase where all I could do was search through things on the forum and find out what to do to my car. My bank account thanks me that I didn't actually go through with most of it. But I think it's ok to mod cars as a hobby, but once it becomes a destructive habit then it might be time to ask for help.
You say you're "past the point of no return," but really, are you? I mean, do you not have the personal control and willpower to just stop spending all this cash on your car? You could end up losing your gf (who sounds REALLY supportive and I don't mean financially). Yes, you've got nice internals now, but it might be nice to wait and finish up school before sinking another few grand into the car. Get a nice job and a nice salary, then make sure you budget wisely and stick to that budget like a man of the cloth sticks to his dogma. But for now, you can stop whenever you want. It's called "irrational escalation of loss." It's like buying a lotto ticket, and you don't win the first time, so you say "well I'll buy another cuz if I went this time it'll make up for the money I lost on the first time." And then you lose again and try a third time, when really you should just cut your losses and run after the first or second time. Learn and move on.
Good luck to ya. And never rule out therapy. Seriously. If everybody in the entire world went to therapy, even just once a month, the world would be a better place!
Cellerator
Member
- :
- 2012 Mazda 3i Skyactiv Hatchback
Here's what I am planning to do. I know you want to mod still but wait till after you're out of college making money so then you can spend as much money as you want on your car. You look like your a kid that is addicted to video games but instead of games, it's your car. Try to remember how hard it is for your parents to actually get you to TRY to study at school. When I start getting sidetracked, I look all around my room and remember how much money my parents spent on getting me where I am so I think the least I could do is maintain an A average in college (or 4.0). I think if you can't keep from modding your car, you won't be able to keep away from the drinking and smoking. Get your head focused again. Think about it. You're parents bought you the car to hopefully stop you=Them telling you to stop and keep your head straight. I'd say take your computer, throw it out the window. If you ever need to use a computer, go to the school's library. You're not a kid anymore, so act like an adult and take some responsibility.
*long reply
wanna get rid of your addiction? get rid of the car. it sounds like you know better, but based on what i've read your parents/girlfriend let you get away with almost everything you do; because of this you do these things even when you know it's not practical because you know that you can get away with it. if your parents cut you off and girlfriend left you i think it'd open your eyes a bit and help you realize what's more important in life (and i'm not trying to sound mean; just speaking hypothetically).
you remind me a lot of my cousin. his family is VERY well off. he COULD have gotten a free ride to college but didn't want to go to school. his parents wanted him to do something with his life so they supported him whenever he had a crazy idea. 2 yrs ago he wanted to go into film so his parents paid over $20k for a semester at the L.A. Film School and bought him some pretty expensive camera equipment. my cousin was so into it in the beginning then kinda lost interest at the end. he never finished it. after that his parents bought him a car to motivate him to going to school, but he never did like he said he would. now my cousin works at olive garden as a server. he does it because he has nothing better to do with his time. i'm not jealous of him or anything but it kinda pisses me off when he has all these available resources and doesn't make good use of them. i wish that everyone could be as fortunate as him, but not all of us have that luxury.
my advice: get rid of your car and get a bicycle. ride ur bike to your classes and walk in the winter. you'll lose ur weight right there. after you finish school and become successful then you can afford to get fast car and not worry about having to pay your gf back.
wanna get rid of your addiction? get rid of the car. it sounds like you know better, but based on what i've read your parents/girlfriend let you get away with almost everything you do; because of this you do these things even when you know it's not practical because you know that you can get away with it. if your parents cut you off and girlfriend left you i think it'd open your eyes a bit and help you realize what's more important in life (and i'm not trying to sound mean; just speaking hypothetically).
you remind me a lot of my cousin. his family is VERY well off. he COULD have gotten a free ride to college but didn't want to go to school. his parents wanted him to do something with his life so they supported him whenever he had a crazy idea. 2 yrs ago he wanted to go into film so his parents paid over $20k for a semester at the L.A. Film School and bought him some pretty expensive camera equipment. my cousin was so into it in the beginning then kinda lost interest at the end. he never finished it. after that his parents bought him a car to motivate him to going to school, but he never did like he said he would. now my cousin works at olive garden as a server. he does it because he has nothing better to do with his time. i'm not jealous of him or anything but it kinda pisses me off when he has all these available resources and doesn't make good use of them. i wish that everyone could be as fortunate as him, but not all of us have that luxury.
my advice: get rid of your car and get a bicycle. ride ur bike to your classes and walk in the winter. you'll lose ur weight right there. after you finish school and become successful then you can afford to get fast car and not worry about having to pay your gf back.
Yeah, i have always gotten what i wanted. I was s ingle child from a well off family for 11 years so i was used to being spoiled and not having to work any.
My father is CHinese (100%) so he has a tendency to want to help his children out a bit too much (it is his culture). The only problem is that, I was born here in the Unnted States and grew up here, so i kinda of took advantage of that and took it to an extreme.
When my engine blew, my father co-signed on a 3K loan for me to fix it. He has given me spending money ever since i can remember and i put that towards the car.
In high school, i always did very well in school (3.6-3.7 gpa at an all boys catholic prep school). I also played soccer a lot which kept my mind away from cars. Soccer was the only thing i actually had to work for, other than my grades. When i stopped playing my soph. year, i think i lost tons of motivation for my entire life. I gave up on soccer and I think that transcended to other parts of my life (ie school).
I have no self control when it comes to this car hobby because I never had to work for what i got. It was always given to me by my parents, and others (gf). I feel like such a little spoiled child, and I dont want that any more. I want to show my GF that I have matured and I can pay her back along with gettin gmy life straight without spending so much time and money on my car.
It is really hard changing a lifestyle of getting everything for free, to having to work for everything. I just dont know what the best solution is.
As it is right now, my car needs the head gasket replaced and the new turbo kit to go on. After that I dont want to screw with it any more. I want to do these last few things so i can have my car running again, i wont have to worry about it. The only thing is, it is going to take a lot of time and more money to get the head gasket on and new turbo kit bolted up, and I really cant sacrifice that now since i have to do well in school this year, and I have to do well on my LSATs in two weeks.
I am telling my self to just wait until after the LSAT to get everything taken care of and then i should be able to manage my time a bit better. But it isnt working too well, because I am still glued to the forums for pointers etc...
Oh well, step by step i guess.
PS i have gone to counseling for this already as well.. only 2 sessions however.
-Bryan
My father is CHinese (100%) so he has a tendency to want to help his children out a bit too much (it is his culture). The only problem is that, I was born here in the Unnted States and grew up here, so i kinda of took advantage of that and took it to an extreme.
When my engine blew, my father co-signed on a 3K loan for me to fix it. He has given me spending money ever since i can remember and i put that towards the car.
In high school, i always did very well in school (3.6-3.7 gpa at an all boys catholic prep school). I also played soccer a lot which kept my mind away from cars. Soccer was the only thing i actually had to work for, other than my grades. When i stopped playing my soph. year, i think i lost tons of motivation for my entire life. I gave up on soccer and I think that transcended to other parts of my life (ie school).
I have no self control when it comes to this car hobby because I never had to work for what i got. It was always given to me by my parents, and others (gf). I feel like such a little spoiled child, and I dont want that any more. I want to show my GF that I have matured and I can pay her back along with gettin gmy life straight without spending so much time and money on my car.
It is really hard changing a lifestyle of getting everything for free, to having to work for everything. I just dont know what the best solution is.
As it is right now, my car needs the head gasket replaced and the new turbo kit to go on. After that I dont want to screw with it any more. I want to do these last few things so i can have my car running again, i wont have to worry about it. The only thing is, it is going to take a lot of time and more money to get the head gasket on and new turbo kit bolted up, and I really cant sacrifice that now since i have to do well in school this year, and I have to do well on my LSATs in two weeks.
I am telling my self to just wait until after the LSAT to get everything taken care of and then i should be able to manage my time a bit better. But it isnt working too well, because I am still glued to the forums for pointers etc...
Oh well, step by step i guess.
PS i have gone to counseling for this already as well.. only 2 sessions however.
-Bryan
Maxx Mazda
Contributor
- :
- Stock P5
It's an interest, a hobby. Something that you find more interesting than achool. I remember when I was in high school, every spare I had I was on the boards posting messages, etc instead of studying, and my grades showed. Seriously though man, turn off the computer as tempting as it may be, and fucken study your ass off! Then you can play with the car.
Hey Bryan, how about getting a job somewhere? It would help you pay back your GF, and it would take up some of the time that you spend on here. Give you something else to do. Maybe it would also help you find something you enjoy doing instead of modding your car.
Even a crappy job gives you some feeling of worth.
Just an idea. I am getting somewhat like you. I spend wayy too much time here, not posting, but just reading. Yes I am learning about cars and modding, but I am neglecting other stuff. I even spend quite a bit of time at work on here, when I have important things that need to be done. Not good. I have even considered blocking this site from my work computer, or getting the firewall admin to block it. But havent went that far yet.
good luck Bryan,
scorch70
Even a crappy job gives you some feeling of worth.
Just an idea. I am getting somewhat like you. I spend wayy too much time here, not posting, but just reading. Yes I am learning about cars and modding, but I am neglecting other stuff. I even spend quite a bit of time at work on here, when I have important things that need to be done. Not good. I have even considered blocking this site from my work computer, or getting the firewall admin to block it. But havent went that far yet.
good luck Bryan,
scorch70
thanks for all the ideas guys.
I have actually planned on acquiring a job after the LSAT is over. I need a way to manage my time. This is why i did ok in school while i was still playing soccer i think.
I am a procrastinator, and when i think i have all day to do something, i never get it done; i just put it off.
I am going to get a job and i thnk that will seriously help out.
-Bryan
I have actually planned on acquiring a job after the LSAT is over. I need a way to manage my time. This is why i did ok in school while i was still playing soccer i think.
I am a procrastinator, and when i think i have all day to do something, i never get it done; i just put it off.
I am going to get a job and i thnk that will seriously help out.
-Bryan
- :
- 2001 Mazda MP3
a job will really help. I've been on a payroll since i was 14. I dont know what its like to be in school and not have a job. i've always had one... which can be a bad thing too....
but I've worked since I was 11 or 12. $20 every friday from 830a-2p.
but I've worked since I was 11 or 12. $20 every friday from 830a-2p.
- :
- carbon grey 2005 SP23 sedan
my dad's Chinese (100%) too. he's almost frugal as they get. damn! haha...
well good for you on the counseling. I hope everything turns out for the best!
well good for you on the counseling. I hope everything turns out for the best!
My parent are 100% Chinese (dad is from shanghai and mom from Taiwan) and because of me they aren't as well off as they should have been. They moved to Wisconsin to help me in college (rent and tuition), paid for Punahou high school (about 10K a year), and they supported me in all of my various hobbies. This was all before I moved to NY with my ex-fiance. Now, I'm working hard in med school and I do find myself addicted to my car and this forum (although not as much as some of you here ^_^).
When I left my parents, they gave me a practically new 1999 corolla, and guess what I did? I traded it in for a 2003 VW GTI during my first year in med school...That was one of the worst decisions I've ever made. With my financial aid, I paid for the apr ecu chip and the eibach pro system plus (total $2000). A few months afterwards, my tranny kept grinding and crapping out on me. My dealership was a bastard, guess what now? I traded it in for a MSP.
So now, I gave a $322.23 monthly payment for the car, $650 rent, ~$300 in credit card, and a $50 cell phone bill. That doesn't leave me much to live on. SO after all of these mistakes, I'm finally learning the value of money (sort of). I told myself earlier this year that if I were to mod my car it would be small stuff that won't void my warranty. Something that makes a difference but at the same time satisify my addiction.
Plus, I'm seeing someone for my stress and impulsive behavior. Basically, I need to be MORE MATURE and develop into a better person. Big picture: graduate from med school, start making money, then but a nissan GTR.
When I left my parents, they gave me a practically new 1999 corolla, and guess what I did? I traded it in for a 2003 VW GTI during my first year in med school...That was one of the worst decisions I've ever made. With my financial aid, I paid for the apr ecu chip and the eibach pro system plus (total $2000). A few months afterwards, my tranny kept grinding and crapping out on me. My dealership was a bastard, guess what now? I traded it in for a MSP.
So now, I gave a $322.23 monthly payment for the car, $650 rent, ~$300 in credit card, and a $50 cell phone bill. That doesn't leave me much to live on. SO after all of these mistakes, I'm finally learning the value of money (sort of). I told myself earlier this year that if I were to mod my car it would be small stuff that won't void my warranty. Something that makes a difference but at the same time satisify my addiction.
Plus, I'm seeing someone for my stress and impulsive behavior. Basically, I need to be MORE MATURE and develop into a better person. Big picture: graduate from med school, start making money, then but a nissan GTR.
azian6er's gf
Member
ok, lets see.....
what advice can a girlfriend give?
First of all, the advice given to you about just getting rid of your car all together is probably the best suggestion. If it's not there to work on, you can't work on it. But because i am your gf, and i know the type of person that you are...getting rid of you car could never be an option for you because right now, it is too much a part of you and gives you too much self worth to have it be eliminated from your life.
Second, getting a job would also be a great option to rid you of your time of just sitting around and doing nothing but be at the computer. However, if all the money that you have or money that you borrow is going towards you car now, what's going to stop you from spending the money you earn from a job on your car as well?
A car is just a car. nothing more than object or piece of metal. it is not a protrait of who you are. i think that's where a lot of car addictions come from...thinking that the type of car you drive has something to do with you as a person. believe me, it doesn't. if you live your life day in and day out feeling good about yourself because you have a fast car, then what would happen if one day you get into a car crash and your car is totaled, smashed, gone? you would have nothing in your life because everything you thought you were would be gone. life is more than the phyiscal things that you possess, build, or create. life is who you make youself to be on the inside, and believe me, no physical object and depict the type of person you are. only your actions can display the wonderful person that you are. and your actions in life right now describe you to be lazy, selfish, irresponsible, greedy child (not meaning to be too harsh).
my suggestion is this: sit back and think. does this car really show the world who you are? is this car and the amount boost you can add to you car really make you who you are? you (bryan) said that people feel good about themselves after they make their car faster or more unique, but have you ever thought about making yourself more unique? who do you think the world would respect more---a boy with a fast and pretty car or a man a successful career, loving family, and knid heart? if i were you, i would switch my focus in life from your car to yourself. modifying your car will get you nowhere in life. modifying yourself will take you everywhere in life.
i know may not be an easy task, but if you truly wish to have respect from society and from your family and friends...forget your car. work on yourself. you'll gain a load of respect form only doing that.
i have so much more to say...but i know this post is long enough already.
i love u,
-annie
what advice can a girlfriend give?
First of all, the advice given to you about just getting rid of your car all together is probably the best suggestion. If it's not there to work on, you can't work on it. But because i am your gf, and i know the type of person that you are...getting rid of you car could never be an option for you because right now, it is too much a part of you and gives you too much self worth to have it be eliminated from your life.
Second, getting a job would also be a great option to rid you of your time of just sitting around and doing nothing but be at the computer. However, if all the money that you have or money that you borrow is going towards you car now, what's going to stop you from spending the money you earn from a job on your car as well?
A car is just a car. nothing more than object or piece of metal. it is not a protrait of who you are. i think that's where a lot of car addictions come from...thinking that the type of car you drive has something to do with you as a person. believe me, it doesn't. if you live your life day in and day out feeling good about yourself because you have a fast car, then what would happen if one day you get into a car crash and your car is totaled, smashed, gone? you would have nothing in your life because everything you thought you were would be gone. life is more than the phyiscal things that you possess, build, or create. life is who you make youself to be on the inside, and believe me, no physical object and depict the type of person you are. only your actions can display the wonderful person that you are. and your actions in life right now describe you to be lazy, selfish, irresponsible, greedy child (not meaning to be too harsh).
my suggestion is this: sit back and think. does this car really show the world who you are? is this car and the amount boost you can add to you car really make you who you are? you (bryan) said that people feel good about themselves after they make their car faster or more unique, but have you ever thought about making yourself more unique? who do you think the world would respect more---a boy with a fast and pretty car or a man a successful career, loving family, and knid heart? if i were you, i would switch my focus in life from your car to yourself. modifying your car will get you nowhere in life. modifying yourself will take you everywhere in life.
i know may not be an easy task, but if you truly wish to have respect from society and from your family and friends...forget your car. work on yourself. you'll gain a load of respect form only doing that.
i have so much more to say...but i know this post is long enough already.
i love u,
-annie
Wow. Thats about it in a nutshell.
I dont know if i have the strength to get rid of the car however. I would feel like i lost too much, both monetarily and mentally.
I just want to get it running good again, and reliable, and then i dont want to touch it any more. I am almost there. It is a burden to me to know that my car isnt performing as it should and that it is broken. If i can get it to a point where it isnt a burden then i think i can be ok.
If i could get back enough money to cover 1/2 of what i spent on it, then i would consider it, but the fact of the matter is that wont happen.
My car is a car to me, but sometimes it feels like a lot more than that (even though i try to keep myself from thinking that). I am just going to concentrate on my LSATS right now and do well. Then i will worry about the car later.
Thanks for writing Babe.
-Bryan
I dont know if i have the strength to get rid of the car however. I would feel like i lost too much, both monetarily and mentally.
I just want to get it running good again, and reliable, and then i dont want to touch it any more. I am almost there. It is a burden to me to know that my car isnt performing as it should and that it is broken. If i can get it to a point where it isnt a burden then i think i can be ok.
If i could get back enough money to cover 1/2 of what i spent on it, then i would consider it, but the fact of the matter is that wont happen.
My car is a car to me, but sometimes it feels like a lot more than that (even though i try to keep myself from thinking that). I am just going to concentrate on my LSATS right now and do well. Then i will worry about the car later.
Thanks for writing Babe.
-Bryan
Cellerator
Member
- :
- 2012 Mazda 3i Skyactiv Hatchback
your girlfriend is right. if you care about your girlfriend, do what she says. Focus on your schoolwork and if you're in college, go look for a bunch of guys who are playing soccer for fun and just join them. It will keep you busy and you won't always focus on your car.
I do car about my girlfriend, deeply. Sometimes i wish it was as easy as just stepping back from the scene and moving forward with my studies and dropping the car thing.
I am seriously addicted. I mean, i have one of the most modified MSPs on the forum, and I like to be in the know about what is going on, what new products there are etc. I need to find the balance that is all.
I have never been good at self control, so that is my main problem. I cant limit the amt. of time spent on the forums, I cant limit the amt. of money i spend on my car, i cant limit how or what types of food i eat, I cant limit a lot of things. Thanks god I dont drink or do drugs, because with my type of personality, I would have been long gone a while ago.
I just need to find a way of life that puts limits on what i do. This is why i think work will be good for me. I can follow a schedule where I will HAVE to go to work etc. My life is almost filled up of all things i really dont HAVE to do. It is just real laid back and flimsy. I think since i have no deadlines other than a few papers and some HW in my classes, I lose a abckbone so to speak, and i am just sucked into whatever i do most --- ie cars.
it is so hard to stop.
-B
I am seriously addicted. I mean, i have one of the most modified MSPs on the forum, and I like to be in the know about what is going on, what new products there are etc. I need to find the balance that is all.
I have never been good at self control, so that is my main problem. I cant limit the amt. of time spent on the forums, I cant limit the amt. of money i spend on my car, i cant limit how or what types of food i eat, I cant limit a lot of things. Thanks god I dont drink or do drugs, because with my type of personality, I would have been long gone a while ago.
I just need to find a way of life that puts limits on what i do. This is why i think work will be good for me. I can follow a schedule where I will HAVE to go to work etc. My life is almost filled up of all things i really dont HAVE to do. It is just real laid back and flimsy. I think since i have no deadlines other than a few papers and some HW in my classes, I lose a abckbone so to speak, and i am just sucked into whatever i do most --- ie cars.
it is so hard to stop.
-B
She sounds very supportive...a keeper ^_^
You're right about spending your time elsewhere. Just keep busy, lower your exposure and access to "addiction." Work on yourself and be a better person. One more thing, it's NOT in your head. Don't feel guity and don't feel like it's your fault. Just take this chance to improve.
You're right about spending your time elsewhere. Just keep busy, lower your exposure and access to "addiction." Work on yourself and be a better person. One more thing, it's NOT in your head. Don't feel guity and don't feel like it's your fault. Just take this chance to improve.
