You know you one local when.....

[hawaiiannights]

I know you guys must of seen this before but thought what the heck it would be fun to post it...


You know you one local from Hawaii when.......

You don't understand why anyone would buy less than a 20 lb bag of rice.

You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi.

You know what a plumeria is and which color dies first: yellow, white or red.

You know why there's shoes and slippers outside of front doors.

You know what is lei day.

You know what "stink eye" is, and how to give it.

You can correctly pronouce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua and Aiea.

You know what is in the big breakfast at McDonald's.

You know what "huli huli chicken" is.

You can name 3 varieties of mangos.

You have at least one family member whose name is "_____ boy" or tita".

You have said "wat, owe you money?", or "dakine".

You know the difference between being hapa and being hapai.

You give directions using mauka and makai.

You know what is "hawaii pono'i".

You know what it takes to get into Kamehameha Schools.

You can correctly pronounce "Likelike."

Someone says the word "UKU" and your head starts itching.

You ask for Shoyu, and not Soy Sauce.

You know Sapporo Ichiban is "mo bettah".

The fool-proof name for every woman you meet, is "Auntie", if you don't know their real name. Works like a charm!!

You raise your chin to say "wassup" instead of nodding.

When making "Shaka", the back of your hand is facing out.

You say "Brah" not "Bro".

You get one pair of "tata" slippers.

You e-mail people in pidgin.

It's 70 degrees and you're freezing.

You use "tako" or hotdogs and old bread, instead of worms or fluorescent pink fish eggs for bait.

You got lickins' with "da rubbah slippah" or "da rice paddle".(spanking)

You know that a "Kukui nut" is not one mental person.

You call it "saimin" not "Top Ramen".

The surf report is on your speed dial.

Dressing up means shorts and an aloha shirt and "slippahs".

You say "shave ice", not snow cone or shaved ice.

You go Kam, not Aloha, swap meet.

You know pineapples don't grow in trees.

You know what Li Hing Mui is and you put it on everything.

You call public transportation "da BUS."

Every child you know has an American first name, and a Hawaiian middle name.

You know what the H3 is but you scared drive cause it's haunted.

You search your car for pork before you go over the Pali.

You go to Neiman Marcus "jus fo look"

You never take or move a lava rock or the rocks from da Heiau.

You always know what "da kine" means

You can name the cast of Hawaii 5-O, or sing the theme song.

You eat spam musubi on regular occasions.

When you leave the island for a vacation, you feel sad at the airport.

You never wear shoes in the house.

You can wear slippers to almost anywhere.

You can be wearing boro boro clothes and nobody tink nothin.

You never feel shame being the only one buying Spam in Costco or Sams Club on the Mainland.

You have a built-in space between your big-toe and dakine.

You like ume, daikon, and kim chee better than pickles.

On the mainland, you wonder "How come nobody get "Plate Lunch ovah heah?"

When you go bathroom, you say "I going shi shi"

You give directions by saying things like, "oh yea by where the STADIUM used to be....

You go Kalihi Bowl fo eat "OX TAIL SOUP".

Eating healthy means Spam Lite

You never understood why adding pineapple and ham to a pizza made it Hawaiian to the rest of the world.



Feel free to add any more that you can think of!!

 

[hawaiiannights]

Bump

 

[808*MP5]

sad but true

 

[niko]

i bet the mainland people actually saying *LIKELIKE* and not our way! haha! dunno how to type it with the correct pronounciation! i think *leakeh leakeh*? *lmao*

 

[vodapas77]

Pronunciation around here is a bit daunting at first, so I just try to keep my mouth shut and listen to people say things first. But it's all good everything about this place makes it worth the adjustment.

 

[Kauai Dave]

you never put sugar in your poi or butter on your rice! you never ask one local from another island you are visiting for directions.

 

[hawaiiannights]

Continuation:

Nobody is sure exactly where "north" is

On the street where you live every refrigerator has a bottle of shoyu inside

Your cousin is Japanese-Chinese-French-Filipino-Korean-Scottish-Portuguese-Hawaiian, plus some stuff too manini to mention

To go out on Saturday night and impress the girl, you wear your bestest shorts

Gobos is now just a bunch of green vegetables, not a rallying cry for the home team

The most important thing to know about a person is where they went to high school

The second most important thing to know about a person is the year they wen grad

Birds walk more often than they fly
Gambling isnt legal, but youd never know it during football season
You cant see the forest for the political sign-wavers

Its raining buckets on your picnic and everybody agrees, "Its a blessing"
Youre nobody til somebody says youre part of the ohana

A pedestrian in a crosswalk, sheesh, some nerve that guy!
You watch your favorite shows "on top the TV"

If youre a radio button-puncher, it sounds like the morning sky ought to be blotted out with so many traffic reporters flying around up there but theyre both on the same plane

Stopping to smell the flowers can take all day

Nobody knows where the "fast lane" is on the freeway

The best cooks all use lots of mayonnaise

An approaching hurricane means only one thing surfs up, brah!

The name Duke means royalty

If you can make it here, why the heck would you want to be in Noo Yawk?

"You like beef" has nothing to do with whats for dinner

Ethnic natives are treated like second-class citizens

The same guys always get the best tee times at a municipal golf course

Shopping is an art form

Las Vegas is Mecca

White rice is a sacrament

Spam is for special occasions

Beans are the perfect condiment for ice cream

The ukulele is a classical music instrument

Female volleyball players are major celebrities

The weather report says "mauka showers"

A lava rock gives you chickenskin


Please feel free to add on or heck tell us your version from your home state.

 

[hawaiiannights]

More...........

You have a separate circuit breaker for you rice cooker.

Only NOW you know that cilantro is the same as Chinese parsley.

You measure the water for the rice by the knuckle of your index finger.

You know which market sells poi on which days.

You know that Char Hung Sut is closed on Tuesday.

You can handle shoyu with green mango, li hing gummy bears, and hot rice and pearl tea with creme crackers.

Your refrigerator has a half-empty jar of mango chutney from the '95 Punahou Carnival.

The condiments at the table are Shoyu, ketchup, chili peppeh watah and kimchee.

Also,takuwan, Hawaiian salt, slice onion and picked onion.

You go to Maui and your luggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs and guri guri for omigaye.

You think the four food groups are starch, Spam, fried food, and fruit punch.

A balanced meal has three starches: rice, macaroni and bread.

You know 101 ways to fix your rubber slippers.

You sometimes use your open car door for a dressing room.

You wear two different color slippers together and you no mind.

Nice clothes means a T-shirt without puka.

You are barefoot in most of you elementary school pictures.

You have a slipper tan.

Your only suit is a bathing suit.

You drive barefoot.

You have at least five Hawaiian bracelets.

You never, ever, under any circumstances wear socks with slippers, or an aloha shirt that matches your wife's muumuu.

You still call the Blaisdell Center the HIC and it's Sandy's not Sandy Beach.

You say "I going for lawnmower da grass" when you mean "I'm going to mow the lawn."

You have someone in your family named "Boy", "Tita", Bruddah", "Sonny" or"Honey Girl."

You still chant "Hanakokolele" when a friend or co-worker goofs up.

You say, "Shtraight", "Shtreet", and "Shtress".

You say "Da kine" and the other person says,"Da kine" and you both know what it means.

The "Shaka" and the "Eye Flash" are worth 1,000 words.

You feel guilt leaving a get-together without helping clean up.

The idea of taking something from a heiau is unthinkable.

You call everyone older than you, "Auntie" ,"Uncle" and you kiss everyone in greeting and farewell.

You let other cars ahead of you on the freeway and you give shaka to everyone who lets you in.

Your philosophy is "Bumbai".

You'd rather drag out the compressor and fill that leaking tire every single morning than have it fixed.

The only time you honk your horn is once a year during the safety check.

If a child needs a home, you give him one. She/He becomes "Hanai".

You can live and let live with a smile in your heart.

Your male best friend's name is either Wade, Max, Nathan, Ranceford, Garrett or Melvin.

Your sisters best friends' name is either Pua, Lani, Lei, Mei, Emma, Emme, Gigi, Yuki or Jennifer.

 

[hawaiiannights]

Here is a little humor about local Hawaii food.


Only in Hawaii!! Eating ANYTHING in Hawaii can be dangerous. When is the government going to learn that Hawaii residents are thrill-seekers when it comes to food? We like our eggs runny, our hot food cold, our cold food warm, our musubi 3 days old at room temperature and our takeout Zippy's chili to sit in the back of the refrigerator until it's got a little head of green, fuzzy hair.

That macaroni salad isn't ready for consumption until it's sat in the hot sun on a picnic table for a couple of hours. Double- and triple-dip huli-huli chicken in the same sauce? Chance 'em, brah. Go for it!

Salmonella is just another condiment, like that open bottle of shoyu hat hasn't seen the inside of a refrigerator in three years. That shoyu isn't old, it's aged, like fine wine.

Let's not even talk about rice. A rice pot can sit on a counter for days, and the rice will set up its own force field against bacteria. At least it will if it's local rice, rice that can hold together in a solid lump to fight off the enemy spirochetes and invading spores. With Uncle Ben's rice, each grain is separate, independent and vulnerable to viral attack.

We like our fish raw, our hamburger blood rare and our pork cooked in the dirt with hot rocks. Sure, undercooked hamburger and runny eggs are dangerous. We don't need the federal government to tell us that. We thrive on extreme cuisine in the islands.

We'll take that week-old rice, top it with that undercooked hamburger and runny egg and smother the whole mess with gravy of unknown origin and call it loco moco. It's not dangerous, it's BREAKFAST. Because we are living la vida loco moco, my friend.

You catch a fish off the reef that might have some toxin that will never leave your body for the rest of your life? Toss that buggah on the hibachi. What's a little nerve or liver damage when it comes to ono pupus? The federal weenies can take their warnings about eating runny eggs and hang 'em up with ducks in Chinatown.

A state law requiring Spam musubi to be refrigerated? Are you mad? Spam has an unrefrigerated half-life longer than plutonium. Spam is EMBALMED with salt. If they had buried an open can of Spam with King Tut, it would still be edible today (not to mention, tasty).

In Japan they are selling something called "Godzilla Meat." It's actually canned corned beef, which is more dangerous than actual giant angry dinosaur meat any day. In Hawaii we eat canned corned beef from Ecuador, man. God knows what's actually in that stuff because they don't even raise cows in that country. It must be King Kong Meat or something.

But it's all good. Eating dried plum pits that have sat in giant jars at Ala Moana Center for decades is a test of will that no other state in the country would attempt or can match. Raw squid that has been dried and shredded up into nasty, gnarly-looking yellow strings are chewed like gum.

Wait for fruit to ripen? No way, pal. Pick those mangoes green and soak 'em a year in vinegar. Ono Sonny Bono, brah. Still looking for action? Risk being beaten to death by waves to pry thorny little opihi from lava rocks so you can suck 'em up with beer.

Spare us your health warnings. Pass the pickled pigs feet, the balut and fish roe the size of marbles. We celebrate the most dangerous food in the world.

This is Hawaii.

 

[Kauai Dave]

You say "We going eat Grandma's house" when you really mean "We are going to Grandma's for dinner"

 

[speedhawaii]

when mainlanders say you have a cool accent.

 

[Kauai Dave]

When you eat at the same box lunch place every single day!

 

[hawaiiannights]

When you eat at the same box lunch place every single day!

Mix plate or Loco Moco? with a nice Fruit Punch of course.....

Dam I was sooooo sad when I was up in New York a few months ago.... no plate lunches...no rice in fact....and no fruit punch.... Eh you be lucky if you can find Shoyu at a restaurant.