Where do you draw the line on harrassment?

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LinuxRacr

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2001 Mazda MP3
Here's the deal,

Let's say that you have a job, and "someone" constantly calls you on your cell phone while you are doing your job (In a training meeting) to talk about personal issues that will take hours to disscuss. You cannot talk right now, so you cut your phone off. When you get back to your department, you are told that "someone" has been calling, and demanding that you pick up your cellphone. You don't have time for this. She (oops did I say she?) keeps on calling. I answered a few times to tell her I don't have time for this, and the reason why. This did not stop her from calling all night long! All in all I have over 53 missed calls on my cell phone, and an estimated 75 calls to the work lines!:eek: :mad: My shift lead and manager told her that this was inappropriate, and that personal calls should go to my cell. Shed also called and tired to make my shift lead tell me to talk to her. During one of the calls, she told one of my co-workers to give me a message that she is gonna have an orgasm!? What tha phuck!!! :mad: :mad:
 
being a supervisor and having to deal with subordinates and HUMAN RESOURCES issues all the time...and learning to work in todays work environment......this CLEARLY crosses the HARASSMENT line.....This has evidently and OBVIOUSLY become a concern with your supervisor too.....I think the one thing you can and SHOULD do is approach YOUR SUPERVISOR as soon as possible and bring him up to speed and ask him/her for assistance in how to deal with the phone issue....if you leave them in the dark....and don't ask for their help in making this stop....they are somewhat behind the eight ball and can't help. YOU need to make sure that they understand with out ANY QUESTION that YOU do not condone this in any way, shape, or form...and want it to stop as bad as they do so that YOU can perform YOUR job......Do not allow this to go on.....if you have to....get the law involved. YOU can not afford to allow this to effect YOUR job.
 
Linux

Alright Linux. Here's the deal. I know it would probably be a pain in the @$$ but call the NEAS and get your number changed on your cell. Don't give it to her. If you need to call her (I mean them), block your number with *67+then the number or log onto OCS and add Line Number Blocking. It's free and your number will never show on people's Caller ID. Not sure what to do about her calling your department. I let the lead and supervisor handle that one.
 
Let your boss know of what's going on. No need to get into every little detail but let them know you are just as annoyed as they are. There is a time and place for everything and your work place isn't a place to discuss and try to resolve issues.

Your boss probably knows how to deal with it as they are supposed to know the legalities of things a little better then you do. Call your local law enforcement and ask them what your options are. It doesn't hurt to ask.

I had to deal with this once and lukily she was out of town. I had to change my extension at school, had to change part time jobs. Even some of my classes. I had to warn the University of her and tell my departement to never take any messages for me. I even received threats. The person bought an $600 plane ticket just to come and harrasse me some more. Lukily my friends knew she was around my school and warned and I just went out of town for the weekend. I get back to school I had 20 messages with more threats on it. For some reason she had found out my extension.

Word of advice, if you ignore it and try to simply toss it aside, they will resort to more extreme ways of getting in touch with you. They will show up at places you dont' want them to or simply follow you. This person is obviously enfactuated (spelling??) with you. You need to deal with it as it won't go away.

Jc
 
I definitely get the feeling that this thread can break down very quickly...I'll monitor it closely.

Let me be frank here though Linux....specially since it's quite obvious and we all know who you are all referring to. Are you still hitting it up with this person? Because if you are, then really you have nobody to blame but yourself. Sorry to be so brutal, but if you truly no longer want this person in your life you can't have it both ways. Yeah I know you have a kid together....so leave it at that only....do your duties as a good father, but that is all.

You can't be off one night being with someone and then not expect them to have feelings still....it's completely unfair. As far as the phoning...you should be able to have that number blocked via the phone company in your area I believe. As well, you can threaten legal action as well.
 
Well, well...I know who we all are refering to.

I wouldn't call so much if you would just pick up the phone.

Call the police, call lawyers, they won't do anything unless you go to court, which means pay money to a lawyer.

This is the issue: Linux told me that we should not "do it" anymore because it clouds our judgement. He just pulled this out of the blue and told me this and then left. I wanted to talk about it but he refused to. I want to understand him but he doesn't want to talk so this is a confusing thing for me.

He shouldn't have brought up the issue if he couldn't discuss it. he just left me hanging.

If he wants all the madness to stop, he should talk it over with me, make it a priority to find resolutions, not make me make more problems.

I am a sensible person when it comes to talking about issues and I want to promptly discuss what is bothering him but HE is the one that needs to communicate his feelings and not drag out the issue for WEEKS.
 
asainhottie: all this is over you not getting any?. you would want to jepordize a "loved one"'s job over an ended conversation, jesus christ, lighten up...wait for him to get off work, then talk to him. that many calls in that short a time period in MARYLAND constitutes phone harassment, punishable by up to 5 years in jail! i mean, yeah...maybe he was busy, or maybe he didn't want to talk to your crazy ass, but...either way, you should NEVER put someones job on the line, especially if you b**** already that he has no money!
 
Linux, you ever considered moving? Sometimes it's the only way out of stuff like this. Problem is that the little one is in the middle. We can only pray that the little one isn't in ear shot as the spaz was making all of the calls. I agree with adragonfly that the little one needs to be removed from this situation. She may be a great mother, but as for a role model, we haven't seen much in that respect.
 
Unfortunately I've been in Linux's shoes....moved twice, changed my phone number to an unlisted #, droped my cell phone and changed vendors, quit hanging out with any of my friends for a long time, and avoided restraunts and shopping centers. All of that worked till i hung out with my freinds again. She was the second stalker i'd had, lived with her for awhile, almost married her till she went off the deep end. The best advice i can give is to get a restraining order including the phone calls with the exeption of vistation with the kid, change phone #'s, and just plan avoid the certain person. Much luck to ya linux.
 
the kid is a huge problem.

He dumps her on me all the time. Yes, I am the mother but for heaven's sake, put down the computer and car and take care of her more ofter.

Days and times he cares for her: M,T,W 9 am to 2 pm.

THE REST OF THE TIME I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD while he goes off and plays!!!

While do I have to sacrifice my life so he can enjoy his?
 
asianhottie said:
While do I have to sacrifice my life so he can enjoy his?
Click to expand...

Maybe you should have thought of that before having a child. If you didn't want to have a child, you shouldn't be having sex. From what I've heard, that's how they get started. Even if you use protection, which I really don't care to know, if you don't want kids, don't have sex. If you think you're adult enough to have sex and get pregnant, you deal with having a child. Really a rather simple concept.
Just remember, nobody put you in your situation but yourself. Don't blame others for YOUR bad decisions.
 
You still don't get the point: Why should he have all the fun? Why can't I be the one blowing all my money into my Explorer and go out crusing all the time instead of being at home with the baby?

Get the drift? Why shouldn't he have to pay consequences just because he's the guy?

If he cared for his job as much as he says, then listen to this.
His shift is from 11p.m. to 9a.m. After he gets home from work, he gets on this site for an hour or so, gets on the Internet, does unnecessary for survival things instead of going to sleep as soon as he gets home. That way, he gets the necessary rest he needs and then he can spend the rest of the time on the site or anything else. He is always late to work because of this.

Also, he gets on the MP3 site from work many times during the night. To me, he could atleast take 5 minutes or so to give me a call to talk or whatever. That's not too much to ask for. I would love to see how he is doing if he would call me from work instead of get on the computer during the free moments he has.

I guess I will have to pay the price for giving in to him that one night.

to you guys with the psycho ex's, why do you think those women did those things to you? It's not always their fault, or just yours. I am sure you had lots to do with how she acted.
 
If having the child is that big of an issue for you, why don't you put it up for adoption??

There are options. I know it isn't a very good one, but that'll relieve your issues of having to deal with a child while he is out.

As far as the psycho chic deal being the guys fault. No, not exactly. I think everyone has a choice of how to react to what a person does. Some get mad, some go crazy, some don't let it get to them. Some people, who are mature and understand that life is not just about them, will discuss the issue right then and there.

The mature person will not wait one week, two weeks, four years to bring it up. By then, it has become such a huge issue because it has been festering all that time.

The way I see it, the psycho chic decides that the male's behavior is wrong, but instead of doing something about it, such as bringing up the behavior the first time it is an issue, they suck it up into a little ball of anger. This anger builds to the point of no return and then explodes all over.

Is it the guys fault? Yes, because he did the action, however, he didn't know it would make the girl unhappy / uncomfortable / whatever. It is the girl's fault for not doing anything until it is a huge issue, which is usually when the relationship falls apart.

And as far as this whole asianhottie v. Linuxracer thing goes, stop it.
 
By then, it has become such a huge issue because it has been festering all that time.
Click to expand...

This anger builds to the point of no return and then explodes all over
Click to expand...

Anger and resentment are like a cancer. They start as a small thing and build over time.

By the time you realize and want to do something about it, the cancer has consumed you.

Life is to short, your life and that of your beautiful little girl are to precious to let the relationship between you and Linux consume you.

It is not healthy, either physically or emotionally. Even though your daughter is young she can still sense there is something not right with "Mommy" and "Daddy". She can feel the tension.

If you do not want to stop stressing yourself and Linux out over your (and his) personal issues please do it for your daughter.

Remember. She is the innocent one in this little family. She did not ask to be born. She wants a normal happy life where if Mom and Dad can't live together. Maybe they can at least get along.
 
Well well finally we get to the point. In the interest of this thread I'll let AH post in this forum again just to see if talking about this in here may help solve the real issues.
 
enry said:
Well well finally we get to the point. In the interest of this thread I'll let AH post in this forum again just to see if talking about this in here may help solve the real issues.
Click to expand...

I thought they were broken up? I was feeling sorry for her cuz I hate to see one being attacked by so many from here, but one pet peeve of mine is to listen to how people try to control another person's life. The way she described Linuxracr's daily activities and what he SHOULD do instead of what he wants to do with his life just bugs the doo-doo out of me.

If two people have broken up, then it's customary to see both of them go their seperate ways as much as possible. Due to the fact that they both own the same child, some association must be dealt with.

For now I see one unable to deal with that seperation and trying very hard to control the other person's life to avoid this seperation. When two people split up, they do not need to call each other up 24/7.

That's disrespect in my opinion, AsianHottie. You want Linuxracr to pay... then make him pay child support. If he's doing that, then that is all he is required to do in your life with the exception to his personal feelings to participate in his child's life. It seems like he doesn't want a long-term intimate relationship with you, so you need to figure that into your reality as much as he needs to do the same.

Talk s*** on this board all you want... but to disrupt a person's life when it really counts to his survival? Damn, that's really uncalled for. You really need to get a grip of yourself ... You want him in your life permanently... he doesn't want to be in your life permanently. Don't force him to do what he doesn't want to do. You can not always get what you want and you have to try to make peace with the fact that he isn't going to respect you enough to have a decent relationship with you again.

Holy Christ, just drop him. I honestly believe there is life beyond Linuxracr.... I can't believe a guy is worth so much stupidity ... EVEN IF HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD. I'm not siding with Linuxracr, but you're a freaking nut case if I have ever read of one. He isn't the best person around, but you are not taking the right steps to make your life better for yourself.

I shouldn't have to be saying anything that I have just said because I think a whole lot of folks have been telling you bits and pieces of everything before. After reading this thread I just realized how serious your problem may be. When I say your problem, I really mean yours and Linuxracr's problem.

Any case, good luck and hope you realize how insanely preoccupied you have been with living in Linuxracr's shadow and it's not turning out all that well.
 
Linux still doesn't get all the pain and suffering he caused.

If you have a leaky faucet and you don't want it to leak anymore, fix it. IE, if you don't want all the drama with me, fix me.
 
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