How many notches on your belt?

[NoRotorNoMotor]

38 years old and I am proud to say... 1, my lovely wife and I have been together since I was 15. Married 16 years this past August.

That would be cool I guess. Many times I have woken up wondering "wtf was i thinking", but I have been in some long relationships and never cheated

A few of my better chick stories:

1. Went to this chicks dorm room for a booty call after drinking for a while with friends. We are on the top bunk of a bunk bed and she starts to blow me. I guess she had a few too many captain and cokes cause she choked on my cock and threw up off the side of the bed and you could here the big SPLAT as it hit the floor. The sound of puke hitting the floor after a 6 foot drop is not a good sound. I said "I gotta go", got the hell outta there and never saw her again

2. I met this chick at a bar, when we were leaving we were walking down the stairs and she was stumbling and had to hold the railing. I said "damn you must be wasted you can't even walk down the stairs" to which she replied "no i have a fake leg so stairs are hard for me, especially when i drink". I immediately thought, I gotta hit that, never had a one legged chick. So we went to her place and all I can say is doing a chick with one leg is weird, the second leg adds support to keep you going straight in and out. Without the leg I was coming in at all angles and I suppose being drunk didnt help

3. Had sex with a chick with a glass eye. Looked like she was looking out the window the whole time, maybe she was

4. Passed out on the floor at a party and my friends paid the nastiest girl in the place to take off my close and hop on me. She started kissing me so I came too. It was pitch black and there was a chick on me so I was like "**** ya", then my friend turned on the light and snapped a quick picture before I could even focus. When I saw the chick I just about hit the ceiling with as fast as I jumped up. The girl looked like miss piggy and she was wider than she was tall. BASTARDS!

5. My friends and I started an "ethnic scorecard" one summer. The idea was to sleep with as many different ethnicities as possible and check them off after you do. I didn't win but I got damn close

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

OMG (rlaugh)

3. Had sex with a chick with a glass eye. Looked like she was looking out the window the whole time, maybe she was

 

[jadonP5]

She started kissing me so I came, too.

edited for punctuation

 

[NoRotorNoMotor]

OMG (rlaugh)

hey man i went back for seconds and thirds on her. one time she even did my laundry and washed my dishes afterward

 

[sanblaster]

(rofl2) (rofl2) (rofl2)

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

lol (first)

hey man i went back for seconds and thirds on her. one time she even did my laundry and washed my dishes afterward

 

[Tengo]

no rotor.no motor is with out a doubt the funniest dude on this forum!! lmao on your stories lmao.

 

[winty87]

lets include ladies in this...How much man have you ladies gotten from your protege?

I'll admit it, if i ever come across a girl that drives another protege thats into cars or mazda for that fact i'm jumpin her.

 

[MyZmZm]

Just look what you started with this thread Nick... lol

lets include ladies in this...How much man have you ladies gotten from your protege?

I'll admit it, if i ever come across a girl that drives another protege thats into cars or mazda for that fact i'm jumpin her.

Answer to the second comment: I must be living in the wrong place... you'd think a lady who's a bonafide car - and mazda - nut would have no problem finding a decent guy who's as addicted as she is.

Answer to the first comment: see answer to the second comment.

 

[txrxs]

if the reason you get ass is for your car you need to end yourself.

 

[Tengo]

lol, no I drive a wagon.. I'm not getting any ass for that...



and you'd think most guys would want a cute chick thats into cars, wouldnt b**** about her guy spending money on his car, and would love to work on a car together.. maybe I live in a dream world.. (shrug)

if only u lived near me n i wasnt taken, i would have married u already.(first)

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

its because everyone in your area owns a bmw...your p5 is sub par girlie (peep)

lol

lol, no I drive a wagon.. I'm not getting any ass for that...



and you'd think most guys would want a cute chick thats into cars, wouldnt b**** about her guy spending money on his car, and would love to work on a car together.. maybe I live in a dream world.. (shrug)

 

[smo0f]

i dont know why but i have a thing for cute girls that drive beat up cars. i think it's because subconciously i feel far more superior

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

hehe

 

[VA03Speed]

13 and I am still in college and a couple were from the car.

 

[speedcicle]

none from the car unless you count my fiance cause i met her just after i got it. And she did like the car so maybe....anyway 21 and i remember all thier names. No one nigh stands here i knew all of them. See i was in a relationship from 18-23 with the same girl and including her i had 5. So for three years i was on a tear lol.....I got 9 girls in three months. And you know what worked telling them i wanted no relationship and just wanted to bang. Been with my fiancee for 2 years now and i am all good. Ok here's a story too.....not a sex story but a post sex story i find amusing. This girl i was screwing obviously forgot rule #1 no relationship just bang, and decided to get attached. Well i wasn't having that so i tossed her. So one night i was in the parking lot hanging out with a bunch of friends when this chick rolls up with her new man. They get out and she says to me "I found a man who treats me like a girlfriend" so quick thinking i replied "My job wasn't to be your boyfriend my job was to **** you and thats it" Seemed to shut her up....

 

[MyZmZm]

and you'd think most guys would want a cute chick thats into cars, wouldnt b**** about her guy spending money on his car, and would love to work on a car together.. maybe I live in a dream world.. (shrug)

I must be living in that same dream world...

 

[yashart@work]

...no i have a fake leg...
Had sex with a chick with a glass eye.

Do you go looking for girls at a medical rehabilitation center?

 

[goldstar]

I still want an answer to my question!

 

[genericuser]

this thread should just be renamed "how big is my e-penis"