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- Black RX-8
this is still my favorite one...GrandBelialKey said:
What is known about Chuck Norris thus far...
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UnNaturalinc
Formerly"HorsepowerFreak"
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- '03.5 MSP, '87 RX-7 TII, '80 Chevy Luv, '05 Honda CRF230
peepsalot said:
One of my fav sites....
http://conanvschuck.ytmnd.com/
http://everydaychuck.ytmnd.com/
http://chucknorrisowns.ytmnd.com/
LOL
http://uhohchucknorris.ytmnd.com/
http://norrisfacts.ytmnd.com/
This one is just impressive. I love the future Conan ones.
http://norrisdefeatsconan.ytmnd.com/
crap, there's 9 pages under the Norris search.
Pro5Monkey
Member
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- '02.5 Red Pro5 manual
Chuck Norris invented the internet back in 1968, but sadly, he destroyed it with one kick to the throat when his logon attempt failed because he couldn't remember his password. He then sold his idea to Al Gore in the late '80's, only after beating him about the face, chest, neck and head and then finally kicking him square in the nuts. True story (thumb)
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Pro5Monkey
Member
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- '02.5 Red Pro5 manual
Until 1983, all Chuck Norris movies were filmed with a hidden camera.
Viagra is extracted from Chuck Norris' beard.
Dinosaurs aren't really extinict; they're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't put lights on his Christmas tree. He just lights it on fire.
A vampire tried to bite Chuck Norris and chipped a tooth. A werewolf tried to bite Chuck Norris and choked to death on Norris' skin cells flaking off. Needless to say, Norris has never lost any blood, ever.
Chuck Norris' blood can cure world hunger. Now you know why there are starving children.
Chuck Norris doesn't trust anything he can't kill. Because of this, Chuck Norris trusts everyone but ghosts, but hes working on a way to roundhouse kick them to death too.
Chuck Norris' left testicle is comprised entirely of beef jerky. Teriyaki style.
Even though Chuck Norris can cure cancer, he refuses to do so because he feels it would promote laziness and turn people into pansies.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris always wins Connect Four in six turns or less.
Chuck Norris once scored 100 points in an NBA game. He was just wearing his 7-foot-tall black man outfit that he calls "Wilt Chamberlain".
Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.
Chuck Norris once ate all the potatoes in Ireland, causing the potato famine.
Chuck Norris can never die. Every thirty years Chuck Norris gives birth to himself. A fully adult, fully clothed, fully bearded Chuck Norris, equipped with all the skills and knowledge of the previous Chuck Norris. Including round house kicking skills, black magic, and the timeless art of seduction.
Chuck Norris can crap bricks of gold or small children of any race.
Chuck Norris eats pirates and craps ninjas.
When Chuck Norris found out who stole the cookies from the cookie jar, he found him and broke his neck; when the owner of the cookies asked for them back, Chuck Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick him in the face, Chuck Norris loves his cookies.
Chuck Norris has only celebrated April Fools Day once. The result was homosexuals.
Chuck Norris saw the movie, "The Polar Express," and immediately roundhouse kicked his 6 year old son in the face for convincing him to see it.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
"Chuck Norris" spelled backwards is "I'm going to roundhouse kick you in your throat".
Chuck Norris' girlfriend is actually a blown up doll of himself, which he still, in fact, "slaps around".
Chuck Norris once inhaled a seagull.
In 1929 the stock market crashed. The reason this happened was because of a fight between Chuck Norris and Godzilla. Many people bet on Godzilla.
The Russian Mafia once put a hit on Chuck Norris. 30 minutes later the Mafia disbanded.
Chuck Norris can smell carbon monoxide.
There is a line of fine print in the declaration of independence that reads, "All men are created equal with one exception. Chuck Norris is equal to 350,000 men." Thomas Jefferson had no choice but to add this line when Chuck Norris single-handedly and accidentally won the American Revolution while doing light calisthenics. He then ripped out Jefferson's throat for not writing it earlier, and replaced all the signatures on the declaration with his own.
Chuck Norris flosses his teeth with babies.
Chuck Norris invented the haircare product "Just For Men". He later removed it from the stores and now makes it "Just for Chuck Norris". If you ask him to share his product, he will beat you to death and eat your children.
Chuck Norris is the only man to never use an eraser.
The only gold medal Chuck Norris hasn't won at the Olympics is in gymnastics because that is for fags.
Chuck Norris was the inspiration for Donkey Kong, HD-TV, and waterslides. Yes, waterslides.
Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a lazy-eyed child in the face because he was starring at him.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once killed a 10,000 pound bear, tore it into 10,000 pieces, and then fed it to a school of salmon just because he enjoyed the irony.
Chuck Norris does not see dead people. He eats them.
It took NASA's top engineers 17 years to develop tools durable and precise enough to trim Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris once wanted to see what he would look like without a beard. He then split himself into two Chucks. He shaved the new Chuck Norris and called it Vin Diesel.
Beowulf is based on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris created the prototype for the Total Gym out of rubberbands, paperclips and the stem cells of orphans.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.
By the time Chuck Norris has finished shaving his beard has grown back.
The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language is a middle finger on fire.
Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
Viagra is extracted from Chuck Norris' beard.
Dinosaurs aren't really extinict; they're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't put lights on his Christmas tree. He just lights it on fire.
A vampire tried to bite Chuck Norris and chipped a tooth. A werewolf tried to bite Chuck Norris and choked to death on Norris' skin cells flaking off. Needless to say, Norris has never lost any blood, ever.
Chuck Norris' blood can cure world hunger. Now you know why there are starving children.
Chuck Norris doesn't trust anything he can't kill. Because of this, Chuck Norris trusts everyone but ghosts, but hes working on a way to roundhouse kick them to death too.
Chuck Norris' left testicle is comprised entirely of beef jerky. Teriyaki style.
Even though Chuck Norris can cure cancer, he refuses to do so because he feels it would promote laziness and turn people into pansies.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris always wins Connect Four in six turns or less.
Chuck Norris once scored 100 points in an NBA game. He was just wearing his 7-foot-tall black man outfit that he calls "Wilt Chamberlain".
Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.
Chuck Norris once ate all the potatoes in Ireland, causing the potato famine.
Chuck Norris can never die. Every thirty years Chuck Norris gives birth to himself. A fully adult, fully clothed, fully bearded Chuck Norris, equipped with all the skills and knowledge of the previous Chuck Norris. Including round house kicking skills, black magic, and the timeless art of seduction.
Chuck Norris can crap bricks of gold or small children of any race.
Chuck Norris eats pirates and craps ninjas.
When Chuck Norris found out who stole the cookies from the cookie jar, he found him and broke his neck; when the owner of the cookies asked for them back, Chuck Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick him in the face, Chuck Norris loves his cookies.
Chuck Norris has only celebrated April Fools Day once. The result was homosexuals.
Chuck Norris saw the movie, "The Polar Express," and immediately roundhouse kicked his 6 year old son in the face for convincing him to see it.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
"Chuck Norris" spelled backwards is "I'm going to roundhouse kick you in your throat".
Chuck Norris' girlfriend is actually a blown up doll of himself, which he still, in fact, "slaps around".
Chuck Norris once inhaled a seagull.
In 1929 the stock market crashed. The reason this happened was because of a fight between Chuck Norris and Godzilla. Many people bet on Godzilla.
The Russian Mafia once put a hit on Chuck Norris. 30 minutes later the Mafia disbanded.
Chuck Norris can smell carbon monoxide.
There is a line of fine print in the declaration of independence that reads, "All men are created equal with one exception. Chuck Norris is equal to 350,000 men." Thomas Jefferson had no choice but to add this line when Chuck Norris single-handedly and accidentally won the American Revolution while doing light calisthenics. He then ripped out Jefferson's throat for not writing it earlier, and replaced all the signatures on the declaration with his own.
Chuck Norris flosses his teeth with babies.
Chuck Norris invented the haircare product "Just For Men". He later removed it from the stores and now makes it "Just for Chuck Norris". If you ask him to share his product, he will beat you to death and eat your children.
Chuck Norris is the only man to never use an eraser.
The only gold medal Chuck Norris hasn't won at the Olympics is in gymnastics because that is for fags.
Chuck Norris was the inspiration for Donkey Kong, HD-TV, and waterslides. Yes, waterslides.
Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a lazy-eyed child in the face because he was starring at him.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once killed a 10,000 pound bear, tore it into 10,000 pieces, and then fed it to a school of salmon just because he enjoyed the irony.
Chuck Norris does not see dead people. He eats them.
It took NASA's top engineers 17 years to develop tools durable and precise enough to trim Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris once wanted to see what he would look like without a beard. He then split himself into two Chucks. He shaved the new Chuck Norris and called it Vin Diesel.
Beowulf is based on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris created the prototype for the Total Gym out of rubberbands, paperclips and the stem cells of orphans.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.
By the time Chuck Norris has finished shaving his beard has grown back.
The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language is a middle finger on fire.
Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
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- Black RX-8
chuck norris can lick his elbow
lol, I had not heard that one yet..
lol, I had not heard that one yet..
sanblaster
Member
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- 2009 CWP Mazda Axela Sport & 2006 Nissan 350z
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Whahahaha. And to think someone put a lot of time and effort into this site. Classic and full of roundhouse like every website should be nowadays.
(rlaugh) (rlaugh)
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Whahahaha. And to think someone put a lot of time and effort into this site. Classic and full of roundhouse like every website should be nowadays.
(rlaugh) (rlaugh)
7
70
Awesome....
Snacks McGee
Member
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- 2003 Vivid Yellow P5
Chuck Norris will kick anyone's ass.
Barker gets no kick out of Norris
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Game show host Bob Barker tells TV Guide the price of taking karate lessons from martial arts maven Chuck Norris may have been a little too high.
The host of CBS' "The Price Is Right," tells the magazine he took quite a few blows from Norris during recent lessons -- possibly causing a blocked artery. Barker, 65, had surgery last month at George Washington University Hospital to relieve what was reported to be an 85-percent blockage of the left carotid artery.
"Maybe I should blame it on Chuck Norris," Barker jokes in his interview. "He probably kicked me in the neck. God knows he kicked me everywhere else."
CBS says Barker resumes taping his show on a limited schedule Monday, with the normal regimen of weekly tapings to restart on November 8.
Barker gets no kick out of Norris
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Game show host Bob Barker tells TV Guide the price of taking karate lessons from martial arts maven Chuck Norris may have been a little too high.
The host of CBS' "The Price Is Right," tells the magazine he took quite a few blows from Norris during recent lessons -- possibly causing a blocked artery. Barker, 65, had surgery last month at George Washington University Hospital to relieve what was reported to be an 85-percent blockage of the left carotid artery.
"Maybe I should blame it on Chuck Norris," Barker jokes in his interview. "He probably kicked me in the neck. God knows he kicked me everywhere else."
CBS says Barker resumes taping his show on a limited schedule Monday, with the normal regimen of weekly tapings to restart on November 8.
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- Black RX-8
ha haha hahaha
why would anyone teach an 80 yr old man karate ? I mean... seriously. ...an 8 yr old girl could prolly kick his ass, and he prob already has body guards for going out in public.... besides, by the time a person gets to be 80 they're supposed to be a "master" of karate, not a student.. funny story tho, my brother & sister just went to see the price is right a month ago...... maybe just in time to see bobbarker before he bucks the kick-it.
why would anyone teach an 80 yr old man karate ? I mean... seriously. ...an 8 yr old girl could prolly kick his ass, and he prob already has body guards for going out in public.... besides, by the time a person gets to be 80 they're supposed to be a "master" of karate, not a student.. funny story tho, my brother & sister just went to see the price is right a month ago...... maybe just in time to see bobbarker before he bucks the kick-it.
Snacks McGee
Member
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- 2003 Vivid Yellow P5
GrandBelialKey said:
I thought they stopped taping the show a long time ago. I watch it every once and a while and am like "god damn...how many ******* re-runs can they show?"
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- Black RX-8
well, I can't believe where it says he's only 65 yrs old, he must be at least 80- at least.
romecandleboy
Member
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- 06' MX-5 Miata
Can someone explain to me who this 'Chuck Norris' guy is. I don't believe he posseses these powers you all speak of.
UnNaturalinc
Formerly"HorsepowerFreak"
- :
- '03.5 MSP, '87 RX-7 TII, '80 Chevy Luv, '05 Honda CRF230
Chuck Norris does not tea-bag..... He potato-sacks.
