well you want venting?
How about finding out 2 of the coolest people you know/love in your family now have cancer...both looking rather not so good. One who has had it before, and if has it back prolly won't live. The other, first time, not gonna live. How about that? How about thinking about the fact that two of the nicer people you know in the world are prolly gonna die soon, because of some dumb ******* part of that **** mother nature that attacks all these nice people, and leaves all sorts of dickwads and dousche bags behind safe and living their life full time, bitching and moaning about pointless s***(not you Dex, or the other guy with the Job, just people in General around me here).
Do you know how hard it is to tell you mom all sorts of things you don't believe, to make her feel better about the fact that the only person who was a true mother to her is about to die? Do you know how hard it is to sit and listen to her talk about her god and how she thinks this is all a test, when I'm sitting there thinking about how if there was a god, good people would not be getting dragged down like this. This is my belief so don't take offence to it, if you do, you're a ******* pussy, get over it.
Now, another step, your GF's mother is going through a divorce with a deadbeat, it's tearing the family in half, and I see all the pain and heartache and cannot do anything about it, but try to help as best I can. Then try having that mom of you GF come up to you while you're GF is sleeping, and talk to you about the fathers demands. Very un-reasonable demands. Then try finding out that the mother prolly has Breast cancer back, and that she's prolly gonna die to, and I'm the only person allowed to know so that the divorce works out in the best favour of those involved(I looked this over, and it's true, the best thing to happen is what she is trying to get done...he wants everything, she wants just enough for them both to move on..seems fair enough, specially since he's the ******* deadbeat).
Now, have all this heavy s*** on your mind, and listen to the wife(grandmother) of the guy who's prolly got his cancer back, b**** and moan about how the renovaters ****** up her door, and how they didn't do a good job. Listen to her complain about all these small insigificant things in life, while her husband is two feet away, wondering if he is going to live long enough for his ******* retirement fud to pay off the bills this b**** builds up. Just sitting there I am, biting my tounge, trying so hard not to say anything at all.
You get home from all this, and find out your buddy has been calling you for a while. You call him, to find out there are some serious issues going on, and he is falling deep into a depression. He is wondering if life has any meaning or value in it, and wants me to tell him why he should let himself continue to suffer in this cruel world. Now, just for a moment, think about this. I'm sitting here wondering what the meaning of life is, wondering how people can believe in god, wondering how people can be so shallow, wondering what my purpose is, and wondering how this world can be so ****** up. Now I've gotta try and fight all these feelings, and tell my friends all the 'peachy' things in life he needs to live for. And how all this s*** is just going to make him stronger...halfway through the conversation, I realize I am talking to myself, through him..giving myself advice on how to just deal with all this heavy s*** going on. I'm realizing that maybe by experiencing all this s*** I will now know and value the smallers things even more than before.
Yes, I've had these rough patches before, and I already value my life very much do to some childhood experiences with illness I won't get into. And all of this stuff that bothers me, only makes me realize how much happier I should be with things. Sure, people are dying, and getting upset, and being complete selfish bitches. But I've got my life. I have food and water, and a roof over my head. I have my health. I am grateful and happy for this. Now ontop of this, I have a ******* amazing girlfriend, and some really good friends. My family generally sucks minus a few...but I have them.
This is the self realization that I am happy despite all these downers. This is a rant about how much you should all be greatful for what you have, no matter what/how you believe it came to be, or whats working with/against you in life. You have what you have. You are on an internet forum, so you obviously have the means to get food and shelter and all the neccesities of life. Be happy for that. be happy for your health, and those around you...and when life throws you some s*** about being a slave and a master, just have a civil war and be done with it.
Be greatful mother fuckers.
Peace