Lesse. I pay all the bills. Rent, insurance, gas, phone, internet etc. My girlfriend pays for none of them. Her money she earns from work is her own money. If I need to borrow some of that it's fine, as I am the one covering all expenses. However, that doesn't mean that I do no chores. I assist with chores. Sure, there are several days a week where I'm just way too exhausted from work to do anything, and she does all them, but it's a mutual agreement between us, not a situation of I'm the man, your the woman, so I'm not doing chores.
I understand a mentally stressing job like yours can and probably is more exhausting than a physical labor job. I worked physical labor for 3 years. Now I'm working as a programmer at Microsoft. It is FAR more taxing and tiring to do my work now than the work I used to do. However that doesn't mean I can just skimp out on helping around the house and dump everything on my girlfriend for her to do.
Seriously. I understand your position, she is a stay at home wife, so I can understand the responsibility to do chores while you are supporting the entire family. However, there is no reason to push that view on everyone else. As far as I'm concerned, a marriage is a partnership. You married her, you commited your life to her, so I think she should get at least some say in decisions that you make. Why the hell would you marry someone if you have no intent of actually working together at life and talking about things together? At that point she's pretty much a piece of meat and it doesn't sound like a very functional relationship.
I'm very old fashioned, just like you. I was brought up English. My mother was a stay at home mom, and my dad provided for the family. That's how it has worked for everyone pretty much in my family. If it works, it works. But in no way would I expect my girlfriend to not live her life, go get a job if she wants one, basically do what she enjoys. I would also never not consult with her on something that has both benefits and repurcussions on both of us. That said, neither would my parents, grandparents or any other family member. It's a partnership, act like it is one and not a situation where you provide for her and she gives you whatever you want. Sounds more like a sugar daddy situation.
There is no point in a relationship if you aren't communicating.
