The redneck thread....

[jbiird317]

Noo this thread is not about rednecks_r_us, this thread is for any sort of redneck activity you can think of....fishin, huntin, campin, country music, front porch drinkin, shootin beer cans in your backyards, hell even a good redneck joke is welcome here....

i just figured I cant be the only one out there that was born in the sticks or listens to country music while fishing or hunting and also likes to modify cars...so yeah, lets hear it, who else is into this stuff??

 

[Revenant]

haha i saw this and thought to myself...bill has to post in here!!

bill! post pictures of your truck!

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

using the backyard to take a pee instead of using a bathroom because its easier when your drunk...lol

 

[ALIEN3T]

^^^
actually ti started like 40 years ago cause grandma said nobady was allowed to come in cause they were al greasy working on cars!

but the tree on the side fo the house has never been watered by a hose and its still alive!

how about using the bbgun in the garage set the targets up in the back of it and shoot away!

 

[03promaz]

Friend sent me this a while back

 

[brealmp3]

using the backyard to take a pee instead of using a bathroom because its easier when your drunk...lol

i do it when i'm sober!

i love living out in the sticks, but i am not really redneck. i'm big on the country music, but i do love fishin and the the outdoors stuff.

 

[gsrtype1]

its always fun to get drunk and shoot beers cans a the creek with a 12 guage

 

[jbiird317]

ha when i let my dog out back we both have our spots where we pee, and he knows not to go near my spot....

 

[fkmp5]

not a redneck but i still like to pull out my bocephus CDs here and there..

 

[jbiird317]

Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDERS ME SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South.
If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads "WINDERS ME" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.

Also note:
- The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
- My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
- Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
- Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
- Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
- Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
- Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and a roll of duct tape" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
- OK: ats aw-right
- Cancel: stopdat
- Reset: try er agin
- Yes: yep
- No: noop
- Find: hunt fer it
- Go to: over yonder
- Back: back yonder
- Help: hep me out here
- Stop: kwitit
- Start: crank er up
- Settings: sittins
- Programs: stuff at duz stuff
- Documents: stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders ME:
- tiperiter: A word processing program
- colerin book: a graphics program
- cyferin mersheen: calculator
- outhouse paper: notepad
- jupe-box: CD Player
- iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 5.5
- pichers: A graphics viewer
- irs: MS accounting software
- irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files
- tax records: usually an empty file
- coon dog: American kennel club records

You'll recognize WINDERS ME SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web.

- Fishin': Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
- NRA: National Rifle Association
- Shotgun: Remington Arms home page
- Riffel: Winchester home page
- Pistul: Smith & Wesson home page
- Truck: Ford dealers by zip code
- House: Mobile home repair services & movers by ZIP code
- Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents (extremely long download time)
- Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by ZIP code
- Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule with TV stations that carry the race
- Car 'n truck parts: Junk yards by ZIP code
- Doc: veterinarians by ZIP code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

--Billy Bob Gates

 

[Smooth1]

One of my lead techs fits this to a tee. Always has two day growth on his face,listens to country,passenger and rear seat full of empty beer cans, deorderant optional...can get ripe in the summer down here. When it comes to cars the guy knows them like the back of his hand! And to let ya know the beer cans are from the weekends and after work. In his house he BBQ's in the fireplace,hung deer in his house,if he gets pissed and puts a hole in the wall he will make a shelf to cover it,sat on a transformer...in the pouring rain drinking a beer. He has such a laid back mantality,but damn he is good with cars. His parents came by one day,upper middle class people,and asked for him. So I asked who they were. I damn near s*** my pants. All I could think of is what the hell happen to him? I thought he was a hillbilly,back woods raised and here his parents drive up in a nice car. To find out he was raised upper middle class,but to meet him you would never know. All in all he IS the typical redneck!

 

[SwampAss]

When I owned a Buell, I used to ride past all my friends hanging out at the spot and yell, "RICE BURNERS!"

I shot an LP tank with a 30-06 once.

I've been chased by a pig through my own yard.

I remember my mom yelling at me to give my sister her jitterbug fishing lure back.

I've popped corn over an actual fire.

My dad used to fill up our 14 foot jon boat to swim in when I was a lil kid.

One of my best friends was a clogger.

I've eaten squirrel, rabbit, ground hog, wild turkey, and I've even had snapping turtle soup (NASTY)

I also grew up in the sticks. My house had plywood floors, we had a party line, and I lived down a mile long dirt road. I had a rotary phone til I was 18 and didn't even have cable television until I moved out @ 22.

 

[jbiird317]

haha great post swamp...lets see if i can add to it

on sunday i was fishin and caught a 2 foot snapping turtle with a bass lure and 12 pound test

my neighbors jeep had a peg board as a grill

same neighbor can also be seen riding his lawnmower to the corner store when his jeep is out of commission

other neighbor hunts groundhogs off his back deck. How do you know he has one...you hear a large blast and him yelling "wooooohoooooo"

my dads beer of choice is either bud or busch

 

[SwampAss]

Where did you grow up?

 

[jbiird317]

Where did you grow up?

in PA, the closest town was Nazareth. Its probly about 20 mins south of the poconos.

the sad part is that the surrounding area is actually pretty suburban, but when you get into bushkill township (where im from) its like stepping into a different time zone

 

[SwampAss]

I grew up on the county line of Spotsylvania and Culpeper County, Va. I actually had clan members that lived on my dirt road. No s***. Most of our neighbors didn't like us at first because we were from Northern Va. WTF. The goddamn state was divided.

Richardsville was about 5 miles from my house.

This is the eastern part of the state halfway between DC and Richmond...but a little west

 

[jbiird317]

I grew up on the county line of Spotsylvania and Culpeper County, Va. I actually had clan members that lived on my dirt road. No s***. Most of our neighbors didn't like us at first because we were from Northern Va. WTF. The goddamn state was divided.

Richardsville was about 5 miles from my house.

This is the eastern part of the state halfway between DC and Richmond...but a little west

nice... ive been in that area before.

I had to do a presentation in my black american studies course in college about where were from and the racial profile of the town. US census data showed that 3% of the 3000 ppl there were black. Yep, thats one family. Needless to say just about everyone there pictured me in white sheets with a burning cross in the front yard. oh and about 15 miles from where i live now is the birthplace of the klan, so yeah i went from bad to almost worse

 

[evilmonkeyMSP]

I s*** in the woods and had to wipe my ass w/ a dirty rag when i was hunting wild hog in north FL...

I scoped myself w/ my 7mm riffle and left a quarter circle scar in the middle of my forhead.

I shot many rounds of ammo at a fridge found in the woods.

I went hunting in an El Camino

 

[MiaTurbo]

did someone say muddin'?

 

[jbiird317]

thatd be a sexy pic if it was a chevy truck haha

nothin beats muddin in my friends jeep with the doors off...what a bad idea lol