Sneez Fetish???

Iconoclast

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classic red P5
I was seeing this female-kinda seeing her-and one night she finnally greenlights me for a good plowing.

we get a room(on her dime;) )at a best western and get down to our draws and she is strattling me on that ugly-ass,itchy couch they have in thier double rooms.

this is where it gets wrong

she says to me " i want you to try sumthin new"

i says "nothing is going in my ass"

she says "no,not that- try to make yourself sneez"

so im like :wtf: "how do i do that, and why?"

she says "like this"

so without telling me why, she sits atop of me and after a lil wierd breathing she blows one on me!

this cold, mucussy, high velocity, atomized snot sprays me dead in the grill peice-right-and i froze in disbeleif.

before i get my marbles back in the bag-she does it 2 more time, in a row-head butting me the 3r time over all!

I finally come back to reality and yell

"stop it, goddammit, what the fuk is all that?!?"

im wipping my face on the pillow next to me, while pushing her off-she thows a fit!

she says "what do you mean 'what am i doing' i thought u wanted to try sumthin new?"

I say "new-yes disgusting-no! no goddamn sneezing, not on me, not on you, and not from anyone in this room!"

im yelling pretty loud becuz im imature and insensitive and beleive it or not...
...i start ****** sneezing.

she stands there for a split second and then jets to the bathroom,locks the door and starts crying about how i think shes retarded and she thought i really "liked her" and blah, blah, blah...

i get dressed and leave.

its been 3 days.

now my question to yous is-

should i call her an make fun of her myself?

...or...

tell my boys what happend, give them her number, so they can make fun of her?

dont get me wrong, im willing to do both but, im a pretty buzy/lazy guy.

its a shame really, cuz she looks damn fine and hasnt had allot of pole in her hole, but i cant get down like that-that s*** stung my eyes imensly!!:eek:
 
yea pretend u have a surgical sneeze guard mask fetish. Then she can sneeze all she wants and u get the ass!
 
Dude, just get over it and don't joke on her. That is quite immature...even for immature sake!
So she had a nasty ass fetish. HHHHHEEHEEHHEYUCK! But still, do you really need to tell everyone????
I don't know about you all, but I sure as Hell know that if someone was snotting all over me....I would not tell my friends. That is like open season for a jokester!

Scenero...
Friend 1: "Yeah so this weekend....."
Friend 2: listening, but sees Iconoclast walk up
Friend 2: "Excuse me man.......AHHHHHHH AHAHHHHH AHHHH CHUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" <sneezes in Iconoclast's face>
Friend 1: "Ahhh shiiiiittttt.......AAHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHH CHUE!!!!!" <sneezes in Iconoclast's face>
Both guys start laughing!
Friend 2: "Was it good for you Iconoclast!"
Iconoclast: "Shut the **** up!"
Friend 1: "I guess Iconoclast is feeling a little snotty today!"
Both friends die laughing on the spot!
 
yeah, that's kinda ruf...
i can say that i've learned something today (didn't know something like that existed). but you really should just let it go. if you can't at least have the cojones to call yourself and at least listen to her on why she thought it'd be good... you never know it could be like the theory behind donkey-punching (which I AM NOT ADVOCATING!)

l8r

p.s. sorry about the adimance of my disclaimer but i told one of my friends what it meant and he tried it, much to his then-fiance now-wife's displeasure, and she hates me now. Like i punche dher or something...
 
Just keep watchin' yer cornhole there buddy. :)

That is some freaky s***... but... a word to the wise. If she asks how you feel about a "Dirty Sanchez" run for the damn door. Naked or not, get the hell out of there by any means necessary.

My roomate in college had the freakiest girlfriend alive, seriously, and he told me how she wanted to try the above mentioned deal with him... then she explained it.

Hopefully someone else will chime in and actually explain what the hell it is... I would, but I just got back from lunch.

By the way, your post is the funniest one I've seen in a while. ;)
 
On a completely different note, I find it interesting that your sig has a well-written, thought provoking, grammatically correct quote, and your post reads like some kind of ghetto-slang mess in comparison.

Oh, and I'm with Rism...if she's hot, wear a mask and go to town! :D
 
some of you are not reading the WHOLE post-

fortunatley, nothing went in my ass nor did she offer such wilies.

as for the typing-get a job as a proof reader.

and since the post i tried calling her twice and no answer on her cell and no return email

as far as immature-THE b**** SNEEZED IN MY FACE LIKE IT WAS OK!

i dont care how good she looks=dont fukkin sneez in my gotdam face.

im accually going to see her friend in a lil bit(after this post) to see what she can tell me-she is the one who introed us.

(call and say bless you-man thats comedy!)
 
she SNEEZED on you?? and she LIKES that??

WHAT THE HELL???


i am just confused, i am not comprehending how thats a fetish...


wait, why are these people calling you immature, wtf?? i woulda been like you SICK ****, i dont want any of that on my face....


that has got to be the weirdest thing i have ever heard
 
Dreeza said:
she SNEEZED on you?? and she LIKES that??

WHAT THE HELL???


i am just confused, i am not comprehending how thats a fetish...


wait, why are these people calling you immature, wtf?? i woulda been like you SICK ****, i dont want any of that on my face....


that has got to be the weirdest thing i have ever heard

I've heard of fart fetishes. That I wouldn't mind so much. After a night out I dropped a bunch of girls off (I was DD) and as soon as I got about 15 meters away it would have sucked to be in my car. It sucked holding it in.
 
charles said:
I've heard of fart fetishes. That I wouldn't mind so much. After a night out I dropped a bunch of girls off (I was DD) and as soon as I got about 15 meters away it would have sucked to be in my car. It sucked holding it in.

hahahahahha, but i mean would you really want your girl to be fartin all the time, that might get a lil sick...
 
I'd let her sneeze on me all she wanted as long as she was still givin it up. at least until it got too familiar. :)
 
uhh? i would have pushed her off after the first one, i would have been pissed... gotten dressed and left, thats just nasty man, im taking ur side, immature or not, tho dun call anyone, this goes into the private things she let ya know.. i wouldnt go that far, but damn thats just nasty...
 
charles said:
I've heard of fart fetishes. That I wouldn't mind so much. After a night out I dropped a bunch of girls off (I was DD) and as soon as I got about 15 meters away it would have sucked to be in my car. It sucked holding it in.

you, sir, have just won the coveted spot as the featured quote in my signature :D :D :D
 
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it got real complicated.

I finally get a hold of the girl who hooked us up and right BEFORE i asked her what was up with ah-choo not answering the phone or emails, she starts yelling at me for "being a complete asshole and leaving her stranded in a hotel after sleeping with her"

now, as i go to explain what and why, she interupts again and says...

"to make things worst she said you spit on her!"

...

now, not only am I confused but, now im getting pissed. Her brother was in the room laughing his ass off and then tried to get in my face about "spitting on her" (bcuz he wants to hit it to but hes a fatfuk) and if I try to explain now, they will certainly not beleive it and I tried calling enuff times.

so, i ask this b**** givin me s*** to call her for me so i can talk to her-and of course she wont, and her brother is REALLY asking for it so i leave and go to her house...

...wouldnt you know it...

...the second i get let in she starts huggin and touchin and squeezin(u know the rest) and for a second i almost forgot why i was thier-so i tell her to slow her roll-and what the fuk- telling people i spit on you and NOT telling them why i left and sneezing on me ans...

...she TRIES to storm off again in a fit and i block her bathroom door and ask again:wtf: so i sit her down, i sit down and she starts to explain how she does not know what happend in the hotel and she dont know why she told them that and blah,blah,blah...

...i say look, 1st thing 1st-u dont clear up that lie u told, its war-2nd, if thier is to be an "us"(atleast for the time being) you have to figure out what u want and tell me EVERYTHING u think i need to know about this sneezing thing...

...after that she said "can we please forget that ever happend!"
(she said it like she confessed to murder)
to make along story short she said she would make it up to me and we will see, but this broad is bipolar or sumshit-but damn, shes fine.

my roomate has a digital cam-when i get a pic of her ill put it up and youll see why it took 3 direct hit sneezes to get me out.

still dont know what thit s*** was about-but when i told my brother about it, he said

"maybe shes allergic to shitheads"

gotta love big bros.

P.S. sorry for wasting yous time
 
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