Okay so final update..
TLDR: IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks everyone! I should have done this years ago.
Long version:
After doing what I did in the video above I put it back into the car and attached the power. The motor moved up. Pushed it again and the motor moved down but then beeped a couple of times and moved back up. This reminded me of when you would get something caught in the lock when it tried to close and it emergency opens again. Put in a few bolts to hold it in place and put the rear trim on. Pushed the button and it didnt move.
Potential disaster!
Closed it down with my hand and then opened it again manually. Pushed the button again and this time gave it a little nudge and it started to close. Amazing. Took a few tries and it eventually evened itself out and closed fully and latched. I was shocked. Pushed the button again and it opened.
After yelling out in joy I put all the other bolts in and tightened everything up. Put all the bits and pieces of side panels and everything back in and tested it again, I used the keyfob, liftgate button, and the button up by the steering wheel. Everything functions.
The design of this model with the insulation just being out in the open on the other side of the panel and then having the screw shaft of the mechanism out in the open seems like a bad idea, well not even seems, it is a bad idea because of what happened here.
So two things
1) Struts, which ones are recommended? They dont seem very hard to replace so I might as well keep this going and get a pair.
2) The control arm which has been lost for years until today, one side of it is missing the little clip thing that secures it in place:
This part.
On the other side it is missing:
I put the side with the clip in the side panel so the less secure one is up on the lift gate now so at least I can access it if something happens. Can I get just this clip somewhere?