Wow, so many great replies, where to begin. Well, to start, I have been married 12.5 years and when we fight, we can raise the roofs but when we make-up, we knock down some walls. Fighting sucks but I can't imagine any relationship without some disagreement to the point that if she agreed with everything I said, I would get suspicious.
Lawyers, I have worked with many of them on the client side (over 200 firms and counting) and have had the pleasure and displeasure of meeting many of them. All the ones that I have met are either too laid back and whine too much when pushed or think they are gods gift to the bar association and will accept nothing less than beating out the competition and think everyone else is out to get them. Not one have I met that fell in the middle. Just food for thought here.
Now, on to you. At first glance, you do not seem compatible. She appears to be the lone-wolf, super independent and you seem to desire the co-dependency a good relationship can offer. You may be putting too much on her when you ask her to share every part of her life as this may not be something she has become accustomed to in her young, ambitious life. She has worked hard for that number one spot while you slacked off to number 11 and the fact that you mentioned this makes me wonder if there is a jealousy issue here but we can get back to that. Now, since no one has come right out and said it yet, your GF looks like a "hottie with a naughty body" (sorry ladies, had to) and I also wonder if what you want is a superficial, the trophy girl. IMO, trophies are nice to have but if all they do is look nice, then they belong on a shelf collecting dust, not in your hands and on your mind everywhere you go.
Now, some of your comments caught my eye and one really disturbed me
I use this as an example because I grew up knowing that splitting up is not an answer. No matter how frustrated and pissed off my parents got with one another, they always stuck it out. I have no doubt that they would be happier with other partners, but they took vows and had children and are keeping their promise to one another. Thus, having witnessed this, ending a relationship is not in my vernacular. Unless there is some physical violence or some serious serious problems (stealing or infidelity) then I tend to commit myself for the long hall.
Hey, nothing wrong with giving a relationship your all but what I am reading here is you will commit yourself to this relationship no matter how miserable you may be. You both need to get something out of a relationship in order for it to be healthy. You are still very young and not exactly the ugly kid on the block either so it's not like you should have issues meeting someone else should it not work and your future children will be happier for this.
Now, some of your recent problems could be due to this still very early cohabitation but have you ever had a real, heart to heart with her about what she is looking for in this relationship and what it is you could do to make things better in her eyes? You're both aspiring attorneys and one thing you will need to learn at some point is that after all the yelling, threats and promises you make when you may fight, at some point you need to be prepared to make some compromises that you can both agree on and that are not overly broad and burdensome to either party. This in no way means to give up everything you want or desire, it means you need to be happy with the outcome. If you can not come to some kind of happy, middle ground, it may just be time to move on.
This is all based on the little bit of one sided information you have given us so it would be good to here the woman's side of it.
Lastly, I will leave you with something someone told me many years ago. Not 100% sure on what it means but it goes something like, 'You can't tame a wild animal. You can capture it, keep it in a cage, train it to do your will but the first chance that animal gets, it will bite you and in the end you will be alone and in pain wondering how this could have happened.'
