MY girl goes to retreat

[orangezoom]

Just because she feels that way does not mean she is brainwashed. She is right, in the bible it is a sin. Now don't get me wrong I did it when I was young, live with my girlfriend, who became my wife, but I would not do the same thing now.

 

[styles_t]

see thats the whole problem

2 people who do not believe in the same religion will go through "HELL" to agree on things

what get me upset is that she was all for it and now she changed her mind

i dont feel that it's fair to me because i was with her before the retreat

i understand if i met her like this but i didnt - you cant just do a total 180 turn on me like that

i told her we would get married but not now because i'm not ready now and we have a daughter - now she just wants me completely out of the pic until we get married - i still see the baby everyday but we cant live together

 

[orangezoom]

I understand how you feel. I also understand how she feels. If she really is Born Again she would also understand your point of view.That does not mean that she should move in with you.

 

[xtrememps]

*SIGH* Religion is silly.

 

[orangezoom]

Right after I first got married my wife was a very strong christian, and I was not. she just continued to pray for me and about 4 years later I went to a Promise Keepers which is a mens retreat. From that day foward I have had the Lord in my life.

 

[styles_t]

you know her religion is catholic and here's mine:

i do believe in god but i'm not into it like that

i dont believe god is your answer for everything and that praying to him would make your life better, i feel that in order to make your life better, it's in your hands to make it happen

i dont believe it's the "right thing to do" to get married just because you have a baby, i believe that getting married should happen because you want it to and that just because you have a baby, doesnt mean you have to get married and dont get me wrong i love my daughter, i see her everyday and the mom knows it so it's not like i'm one of those guys that dont care

she says that if you're married, it means that your partner wont cheat on you, i disagree, and i used her family as examples because all of her uncles cheated on her aunts so being married doesnt mean you're safe - and i know i wont cheat on her because that's just how i am, i never cheated on any of my girls

the list goes on. . .

 

[cbcbd]

Another relationship screwed with because of religion...

you know her religion is catholic and here's mine:

i do believe in god but i'm not into it like that

i dont believe god is your answer for everything and that praying to him would make your life better, i feel that in order to make your life better, it's in your hands to make it happen

i dont believe it's the "right thing to do" to get married just because you have a baby, i believe that getting married should happen because you want it to and that just because you have a baby, doesnt mean you have to get married and dont get me wrong i love my daughter, i see her everyday and the mom knows it so it's not like i'm one of those guys that dont care

she says that if you're married, it means that your partner wont cheat on you, i disagree, and i used her family as examples because all of her uncles cheated on her aunts so being married doesnt mean you're safe - and i know i wont cheat on her because that's just how i am, i never cheated on any of my girls

the list goes on. . .

Oh yeah, welcome to the guilt-driven world of hardcore christians. She just got "shocked" into seeing that everything she's been doing is wrong and she's going to feel very guilty until she rights everything and is up to par with her retreat buddies. Yay

 

[styles_t]

i do believe in god

i used this as an example and even her sister said it: her aunt took in her mom when they were younger and helped her when they came from their country - okay, she said thank you to her for helping her alot but damn, you dont owe you're life to her - a thank you is a thank you and just remember what she did for you

that's how i see this religion thing: okay he sacrificied himself for us but "okay" dont take it to the extreme, i know what he did but i dont owe my life like that to him. i did my conformation, i did my communion but thats all, i wear a cross all the time, i know he's there

 

[orangezoom]

i dont believe god is your answer for everything and that praying to him would make your life better, i feel that in order to make your life better, it's in your hands to make it happen.

I do believe that God is the answer and my life has gotten a lot better.

i dont believe it's the "right thing to do" to get married just because you have a baby,

I agree with you here, no marriage will last starting like that.

 

[THEGOLDPRO]

im not saying its right to live with a girl before you are married, but im a firm believer that you need to live with them first, people change once you live together, its a fact, as far as the sinning part, well you two have a kid together, so obviously your both not super strong not gonn have sex until you get married types, so i would see no harm in the living together thing.

 

[cbcbd]

The problem is that religious extremists can't live without the extreme, even if they believe in the same God. It becomes part of their lifestyle. I hope this flush of sin she's feeling fades away a bit after a while. But right now it just feels like she just stepped out of a "Passion of the Christ" showing and has a list of things that she owes to Jesus - one of them being getting married right away.

 

[styles_t]

the reason for me saying god is your answer because many people in this world pray to their god for help because their poor, because someone in their family is sick and because of war thats killing people in their country

obviously god doesnt help them because all of this still goes on

you can pray for your (example) mom if she's sick, godforbid she dies: where was god when you were praying for him, i dont believe he can help you there, i believe that your mom got sick because she got sick

many people feel that god let them down. . .

 

[styles_t]

ok, like i said before, fine she feels that way but thats not how i met her. if i met her like that i would of known what i got myself into and wouldnt argue but she did a whole change all of a sudden, you cannot (well you can if you want) do that in a relationship but i dont think it's fair to the other person

 

[geomatics_tech]

Religion is for people who need guidance in life, it is basicly a set of rules to base your judgement in life off of.

My problem with religion is that the bible has been re-wrote how many times by how many different people, I just feel that the original messages may have been lost in translation or reproduction. As well all these countries that fight each other over differing beliefs of god is kinda twisted, isnt it?

 

[styles_t]

exactly geomatic

its like the phone game people play

you tell somebody something and by the time it gets down the line, the story is different than the original

 

[djwolford]

the reason for me saying god is your answer because many people in this world pray to their god for help because their poor, because someone in their family is sick and because of war thats killing people in their country

obviously god doesnt help them because all of this still goes on

you can pray for your (example) mom if she's sick, godforbid she dies: where was god when you were praying for him, i dont believe he can help you there, i believe that your mom got sick because she got sick

many people feel that god let them down. . .

So basically since God is unwilling to be your personal genie that helps you out when you need something and is completely ignored when you don't, you have no faith in Him?

 

[orangezoom]

Actually the bible has been translated very well, I believe it was originally in Greek, and Hebrew, so people can translate it.

 

[orangezoom]

Also you have to pray to God in good times and bad, and most of the time I pray I do not ask for stuff for me, I will pray for other people and that people get to know God.
I will probalbly pray for you that you find the peace that you need, and that everything works out for you, and if not that you and your daughter have a great relationship.

 

[styles_t]

i never said i dont have faith in him, i just said i dont take it to the extreme and change my whole life

i feel i am perfectly fine, of course people make mistakes, fight with others ane etc. but thats life, not a sin

 

[styles_t]

when you say peace - what exactly do you mean

because i'm in peace right now, if you knew me, you would know how i am, i'm a good person, i dont mean people harm, i'm laidback and easy going, and usually the quiet person in the group