my bossisms

[tsunami]

i work in a machine shop like environment at a very large politicaly correct world wide company....

that being said the talk in the "shop" would make a pirate cringe... man it is bad in here.... though last week my boss one of the kings of one liners... (you have to have some thick skin to work here, and be able to dish it out thick as hell) said...

"whiskey dick.... its like tryin to stuff a marshmellow into a keyhole" i haven't stopped laughin bout it since... my dear god that was some funny shait!

 

[tsunami]

wow.... no one thought that was funny... jeeze... what about this one...

gentlemans relish

think about it..... (another bossism)

 

[Pretzellogic]

I always heard "marshmallow into a toaster"

 

[slug420]

these arent from a workplace but my friend spews some nice one liners

"slicker than goose s*** on a pump handle" is one that comes to mind

 

[slug420]

"happier than a puppy with 2 peters"

 

[slug420]

"hornier than a 3 peckered billy goat"

 

[Gstuck]

I to work in a machine shop. And it never fails when we get some parts heat treated, my boss picks them up, taps them together and says "Harder than a honeymoon dick".

 

[tsunami]

thats a good one... when ever some one drops something... which is often, cutting lengths of metal usually results in some sort of noise... the phrase is "just put that anywhere" some people who are just coming in to pick up there parts from R&D or where ever always flash a dirty look when i scream that out without lookin around... eh overpaid suits need to loosen up a bit anyways....

 

[AndrewF150]

ahahahaha!! that is pretty damn funny. Reminds me of my good friends dad.

If he wants your attention a lot of the time he will say "Hey, peter lips" or "Hey ya dick beater!"

 

[mspdfreak]

"Man, I was hard! ******' cat couldn't scratch it!"

 

[LinuxRacr]

"Damn that's a good deal! It's like a sore dick...you can't beat it!"

 

[mspdfreak]

"I beat my dick like it owes me money!"

 

[tsunami]

^^^^^^ classic^^^^^^^^

 

[AndrewF150]

ahhahahahha!!! Damn some of these are just great!

 

[tsunami]

so today i was shittin on my boss b/c he was wearing a button up shirt... askin him if he new what those fancy lookin things were for, if his wife dressed him.... all kinds of s***... then as he is gettin ready to leave i needed a form i had to go ask him to forward me and he has this big red stain on his nice button up shirt.. i was like hey slob look what you did... your wife is goin to be pissed... he looks down shrugs his shoulders and said..."yeah i think it makes the shirt more manly this way" hahaha... thought that was some funny stuff....

 

[DE31]

this one happened during football practice "i was on him like dick on pussy." i dunno seemed funny to me.

 

[slug420]

all over that like white on rice on a paper plate in a snow storm

 

[tsunami]

rice on a paper plate.... sounds like a good smile thingy... mmmm...

 

[Brian MP5T]

Wtf?

 

[b00sted]

this is a weird thread