I've been lurking around this forum a while, but seeing as I spent a significant amount of time researching this exact questions a few weeks ago I figured I should register and respond to this. These interiors are worth keeping in top shape!
From what I now understand, you are absolutely right that leather care on modern cars is different. When you are cleaning and "conditioning" leather in modern cars, you are actually working with what is generally referred to as protected leather. This is leather that essentially has a painted top coat made of polymers that are bonded to the underlying leather. The consensus seems to be that when you are cleaning your protected leather, you are more so cleaning paint than you are cleaning the underlying leather. This realization changed my perspective on the issue for sure.
With this in mind, the idea that you need to add oils into the leather to re-moisturize it is basically BS. Oils are actually detrimental to apply to protected leather because they tend to attract particles to the surface of the leather which will cause more abrasion over time. Also, they can increase the susceptibility of the leather to cracking because they can work their way in between the top coat and the underlying leather layer and cause them to separate. So what should you be using? The sources I found seemed to favor water-based cleaners and protectants. Specifically, water based products with fluoropolymers. One that I've seen recommended in several places and that I ended up choosing to use on both of my 2014 Mazdas is Leather Master. AutoGeek has a great kit that has the cleaner, protectant, and a few microfiber applicators and towels. Not sure if linking is allowed in this forum...here is the kit I bought
http://www.autogeek.net/strong-leather-cleaner-kit.html
I'm sure there are others out there that are good too, this just happens to be the one I wound up with after my research and it seems to work well so far. I'm obviously not going to recommend something I haven't personally used.
The protectant is nice too because it helps prevent dye transfer from clothing. Most products on the market won't give you this benefit from what I understand, but I'm no expert so please chime in if this is an inaccurate statement. The dye transfer isn't a big deal on the black leather interior on my Mazda 3 but I have the Almond interior on the 6 and after a couple of months there were spots that were looking blue from jeans rubbing against the seat. The protectant also makes future cleanings easier supposedly, in much the same way that a properly waxed car is easier to clean than one that no longer has a functional wax layer.
One more important thing to note is that water-based cleaners are preferred largely because they help rehydrate the protected leather by providing increased localized humidity. I've even seen some people recommend using heavily dilluted woolite to do more frequent maintenance cleanings on the leather (like once a week or whatever), especially the driver's seat. I think this is supposed to help keep wrinkles from becoming as pronounced because the leather stays hydrated and supple, but without having to use the really harsh stuff so often. At this point I figure on my own vehicles I'm just going to apply the cleaner and protectant every 3 months or so, and only do more frequent diluted woolite cleanings if I start noticing things getting too dry.
