MikeBlueP5
Member
- :
- 2K2 Protege 5 (Sold) now 08 UrbanRunner
/\ yup exactly. how the hell did he crack the radiator anyhow?
Help: Give a guy a second chance? karma..?
- Thread starter SpicyMSP
- Start date
Better to find out now then later... leave and dont look back or you will find yourself questioning everything he does or says from now on. You dont want to lead a life of regrets or deceit. If this is his behavior 6 months into the relationship, then just think of what may happen in 6 YEARS. YOU may be able to change, but you cant change them.
SpicyMSP said:
Yeah, I know what it means to do "whatever it takes". I've tried VERY hard (reading books, counseling, working it out) in the past to work on a relationship because of me screwing up big (treating girl like s*** and cheating on her...and other excellent despicable things) and realizing that I needed to change. It is very hard to do and most times when people change that just means that they just find more about themselves and what they want out of life and need to move on themselves.
Having said that, it's very easy to stay in a situation and continue a cycle, VERY easy and the precision that these cycles can take is pretty scary...
so, that's why I say just leave him to grow on his own and even though it hurts you just have to move on sometimes.
MikeBlueP5
Member
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- 2K2 Protege 5 (Sold) now 08 UrbanRunner
guess it was your cars way of telling you its not the right guy? ;-)
ok, 2 comments...
1. snooping through people's text messages (or other personal s***) is pretty ****** up if you ask me
that being said...
2. he's already proven that he'll lie to your face, say what you want to hear, and then turn around and cheat and complain about you the minute you're gone - what makes you think his most recent commitments to "do whatever it takes" are not simply more of him spewing the bulls*** all over you?
1. snooping through people's text messages (or other personal s***) is pretty ****** up if you ask me
that being said...
2. he's already proven that he'll lie to your face, say what you want to hear, and then turn around and cheat and complain about you the minute you're gone - what makes you think his most recent commitments to "do whatever it takes" are not simply more of him spewing the bulls*** all over you?
- :
- 92 & 16 Meyatas
run spicy while you still can...it may hurt now, but it might hurt a whole lot more later!!
MyOrangeToy
Member
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- MSP
I don't think you should stay.... Even if you are back together with him there will still be something in your heart. You wont totally trust him anymore. But it all comes to how much you still love him, can you forgive him? Maybe you can be together with him again, just leave him when you think things aren't going right.
Steph-
you deserve much better. even without ever really "knowing" you, its obvious that you have the capacity and desire to care for someone other than yourself. he, apparently, has not reached that point. whatever he says or does at this point will come with a dark thought in your mind as to whether or not you can trust him to tell you the truth. no one needs a relationship like that... no one.
caring about someone else is very important but its knowing when your respect for yourself must lead your choices that is utmost. (sometimes I feel like my writing style belongs on the inside of an asian-american delicacy
)
side note: I've heard there are enough eligible bachelors out in Cali that you 'should' be able to find one that is up for a simple, trusting relationship with a beautiful woman that's into cars. (though, finding one able to deal with your car being faster than their's may narrow the field a bit
)
you deserve much better. even without ever really "knowing" you, its obvious that you have the capacity and desire to care for someone other than yourself. he, apparently, has not reached that point. whatever he says or does at this point will come with a dark thought in your mind as to whether or not you can trust him to tell you the truth. no one needs a relationship like that... no one.
caring about someone else is very important but its knowing when your respect for yourself must lead your choices that is utmost. (sometimes I feel like my writing style belongs on the inside of an asian-american delicacy
)side note: I've heard there are enough eligible bachelors out in Cali that you 'should' be able to find one that is up for a simple, trusting relationship with a beautiful woman that's into cars. (though, finding one able to deal with your car being faster than their's may narrow the field a bit
)the best advice I could give you is, for matters of the heart, not to even ask for advice (let alone take it.) While mostly everyone has had good points to make that, if I didn't feel strongly about what I just said, would certainly be the way to go (imo). That said, I feel the sheer act of asking for advice implies you're not as in touch with how you feel inside about this situation as you can (and should) be. I think if you take a step back from all of this and take a deep breath... call it your gut, your heart, women's intuition... whatever! it'll give you the answer you're looking for. Good luck.
Now, I have a Different approach to it......I say stay with him. He already went to jail over all of this, He lost everything, I think he has learned his lesson. All of these guys say "OMG leave him, once a liar, and always a liar". Seriously you know him better than any of these guys do. You need to dow hat is in your heart, and if your heart says stay with him, and give him another chance...Then do so.
Did he really cheat on you...did he sleep with this other girl? Nope he didn't....
Did he really cheat on you...did he sleep with this other girl? Nope he didn't....
Snacks McGee
Member
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- 2003 Vivid Yellow P5
Ah...you gotta love a girl that is always there for her man...no how ****** up he is...all because the "L" word gets thrown around. I'd love you too if you bailed me out of jail. But just because someone says "I Love You" sometimes doesn't mean s***.
mountjonas
Member
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- 2013 VRM MS3
love is something you don't want to settle on. it's sad and it'll be hard, but i think you have to cut your losses and move on.
Snacks McGee
Member
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- 2003 Vivid Yellow P5
There are two types of "I Love You's" in guyspeak...
1. "I Love You" (With all my heart and soul and would never do anything to hurt you.) (first)
2. "I Love You" (C'mon! Ya I know I do! (hah) )
1. "I Love You" (With all my heart and soul and would never do anything to hurt you.) (first)
2. "I Love You" (C'mon! Ya I know I do! (hah) )
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- 2017 SG Ford Focus RS -- 2003 Protege 5 -- 2016 Ford Expedition
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
-or-
"Two strikes and you're out."
I truely think that you need to make this decision yourself. Asking a group of faceless internet identities to plan your life and make all of your hard decisions for you will not necessarily grant you any happiness (esp since none of us know you better than you)
that being said- I think these might be your options
1. Give this guy a second chance. If you love him and believe in his capacity for change, then it might be a good idea to give him that chance, most people deserve chance #2, right?
2. Take a break. give yourself some time to think things through... get a good handle on the situation. It's been said before that "if you let something go, and it returns then it's meant to be", paraphrased from unknown source. It may be the chance he's been waiting for, but that's something you need to risk. This may be a good test to see if he's devoted to you or not (not reccomended for more than a week).
3. Walk away and never look back, let him have that hoe he was messing around with behind your back, if she'll take him. Be strong because you are leaving the realm of "comfortable" and into the unknown. Will you find another man better than "cheater.bf"? Yes, without a doubt because of the whole "fish in the sea" analogy (and stuff). Should you sacrifice our happiness for someone else? No, noone is worth your own happiness
Ultimately the decision is still yours... but you knew that
-or-
"Two strikes and you're out."
I truely think that you need to make this decision yourself. Asking a group of faceless internet identities to plan your life and make all of your hard decisions for you will not necessarily grant you any happiness (esp since none of us know you better than you)
that being said- I think these might be your options
1. Give this guy a second chance. If you love him and believe in his capacity for change, then it might be a good idea to give him that chance, most people deserve chance #2, right?
2. Take a break. give yourself some time to think things through... get a good handle on the situation. It's been said before that "if you let something go, and it returns then it's meant to be", paraphrased from unknown source. It may be the chance he's been waiting for, but that's something you need to risk. This may be a good test to see if he's devoted to you or not (not reccomended for more than a week).
3. Walk away and never look back, let him have that hoe he was messing around with behind your back, if she'll take him. Be strong because you are leaving the realm of "comfortable" and into the unknown. Will you find another man better than "cheater.bf"? Yes, without a doubt because of the whole "fish in the sea" analogy (and stuff). Should you sacrifice our happiness for someone else? No, noone is worth your own happiness
Ultimately the decision is still yours... but you knew that
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