Funny pick-up lines

[tritonheat1]

I got a couple what about,

Hey girl, are you tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

Girl" hershey's couldn't make a chocolate sweeter than you.

Girl" you are so pretty i wish i was that ice tea in that cup being sucked up upon that straw touching your lips. mmmmm your so damm fine and your lips taste good.

 

[adragonfly]

Girl" you are so pretty i wish i was that ice tea in that cup being sucked up upon that straw touching your lips. mmmmm your so damm fine and your lips taste good.

This one would definately never work, not even for comic reasons! It's just so damn long! No offense Triton!

 

[Brubeck]

Hmm... I think Fletch said it best...

"Hi, Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo"

 

[Syzygy]

okay i got another one.

you like math?...well, we could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and mulitply

Wow...that one paints a picture.

Something tells me this would have the opposite effect. Most women would visualize being nine months pregnant at this point.

 

[bd4awgn]

heres a few.....

1) Baby why don't u sit on my lap and we'll see what POPS up.

2) Damn Girl did that hurt?...(her response, did what hurt?)...when u fell from heaven.

3) Hey Girl how u doing?...(here respnse, fine)...I didn't ask how u look, I asked how u doing.

4) (Motion Girl over with one finger) then u say, If I can make u come with one finger imagine what I could do with 5.

5) Let's play army! I lay down and you blow the hell outta me!

6) Hey girl lets go to my house and work on some math in bed: add the bed,subtract the clothes,divide the legs, and I'll Multiply.

7) I said you have a nice body, now are u going to hold it against me?

8) Guess what I heard about you? $#@& me and I'll tell you.

 

[I_Vtec]

That's a very nice pooper you have there.

OR

That's a very nice turd cutter you have there.

 

[Syzygy]

That's a very nice pooper you have there.

OR

That's a very nice turd cutter you have there.

Oh, yeah...that'll work...

 

[brain]

Sit on my face and Ill guess your weight







Oh thats bad

 

[Syzygy]

Sit on my face and Ill guess your weight

Oh thats bad

Gives you a better chance than the turd line...

 

[sttl013]

From "Coming to America"

Something to the effect of:
"Girl, you look so good, I wanna pour you out on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"

 

[OurP5]

You ask her: Do you believe in love at first sight?
She says: No, I don't
You say to her: Well, If that's the case would mind walking by again?


Cheezy I now but it sounds good when used correctly. I haven't been able to pull it off. Alchohol tends to make me get things confused.

I ask her: Do you believe in love at first sight?
She says: No, I don't
I say to her: Well, F*#k you then

 

[Syzygy]

...(snip)...Alchohol tends to make me get things confused.

I ask her: Do you believe in love at first sight?
She says: No, I don't
I say to her: Well, F*#k you then

Actually, getting upset with a girl sometimes works! Of course, at that point you probably aren't interested, but you become a "challenge".

I never will figure out why so many women prefer jerks to nice guys. Oh well - it just means that my perfect match will take longer to find. Patience is what it's all about!

 

[fastdrvr23]

That's a very nice pooper you have there.

OR

That's a very nice turd cutter you have there.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
Wait...
RAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Whew.
Here in Mississippi she'll be likely to spit some tobacco in your eyes or something over that turd cutter line...

 

[adragonfly]

Actually, getting upset with a girl sometimes works! Of course, at that point you probably aren't interested, but you become a "challenge".

I never will figure out why so many women prefer jerks to nice guys. Oh well - it just means that my perfect match will take longer to find. Patience is what it's all about!

I don't prefer jerks... they just usually turn out to be that way.

 

[Todd]

Actually, getting upset with a girl sometimes works! Of course, at that point you probably aren't interested, but you become a "challenge".

An interesting thing I read at http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_100/135b_relationship_expert.html refarding this. Basically, its not about being a jerk as much as being a challenge (just like you said), and keeping things interesting........ If your bored read it, it might make you think "Thats true". I know for me it seems true. Girls that I would do anything for I lost. The others I dont care for love me. I never figured it out.

 

[adragonfly]

Being a challenge and being a jerk are two different things! I don't want a man to be falling all over himself for me. I like to work for what I have. When a guy is too nice it seems like he's desperate and doesn't have a life. I hate it when a man will drop whatever he's doing to answer to my beck and call. That doesn't mean that I want a man to completely ignore me , but if he's doing something important like spending time with his family, working, or even saving the world, I'd understand and wait my turn! The perfect way to get a girl is to give her just enough attention to keep her content, but also knowing when to pull back a bit so that she doesn't get too spoiled. I love a man who can say no to me when I want too much, but who can give me everything when I don't even ask for it. Does that make any sense?

 

[Todd]

adragonfly, that makes perfect sense. I just found this out just within the last month. So simple and it all makes sense. If I only knew this a year ago, I would probably still have the girl that I always wanted, but thats another story.

 

[zulu]

How about"I'm so good I scream out my OWN name"?

 

[adragonfly]

here's another that I saw on a t-shirt.

"Would you like to tickle this Elmo?" with a big red arrow pointing down to you know where.

 

[OurP5]

"Would you like to tickle this Elmo?" with a big red arrow pointing down to you know where.

Another one to use but you have to make it a whole outfit.

A guy wears a tee shirt that says, "Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" and he pulls his front pants pockets inside out.