Thanks paging_drburgos;
I'm currently considering the CX-5, Forester, CR-V, and maybe the RAV4. So a little down market from what you were looking at.

The CX-5 tops my list because of the HUD, and tow rating. The Subaru is probably second due to the brand following up here in Maine.
Ultimately, for me it's really going to come down to comfort and the intangibles you talk about. A quiet, comfortable ride, comfortable seats for myself and my wife, and a vehicle that "feels" right on the road will end up being more important than anything else. Though the CX-5 is about the bottom of what I want in terms of fuel efficiency.
I've test sat in a CR-V, and did not like the seat -it was too stiff under my thighs, even with the front adjusted all the way down. I've test driven a 2016 CX-5 Sport, but have yet to have even seat time in a 2017. Luckily, I'm in no rush. For the moment I get to read reviews and the opinions of others like you.