I hope you get it the way you want it sorry bout your troubles.
I had 1/4 inch spacers and they gave some stance, I just sold those on here the other day for $30 shipped. I have the 25mm spacers which are a tad wide but fit flush and look bitchin. The EBAY auction I mentioned earlier, if you look at the sellers items, they also sell 15mm and 20mm spacers with the studs built in.
builthatch's ride with 15mm spacers looks great THO imo i think it can go wider just for looks wise, me and madvillain have the 25mm which looks flush as you can get basically, tho 240ka is getting the 20mm which I would say are probably a good bet, not as flush as 25mm but not as inward as the 15mm.
I did have to roll my rears with the 25mm, but I do have springs that drop the car 1.4 inches in the front and 1.4 inches in the back. If you aren't dropped that low I woulds ay the 25mm should be flush and look best as your suspension when it compresses might cbend inward enough to avoid hitting the fender