Ugh... this sucks... :(

[KyRaceFan]

My "girlfriend" and i have had some minor issues the past 6 weeks. I still love her... and i could tell something was different lately, but not what it was. I mean weve talked a few times, and shes just going through a hard time in life. Out of HS, in college, ready for life to start. Her friends are changing, and shes just having some tough times i thought. So i was there for her..... but i could tell she was growing away from me.

Well today she left for Wisco for a cousins wedding... and when i called her tonight, i could tell she wasnt as excited to hear from me as normal.
I mentioned it to her brother... whose my BEST friend, and he told me she said last night she doesnt feel it for me anymore.

Ugh... i have 2 days now to decide what to do when she gets back. Tell her i know how she feels? Wait to let her tell me on her own? Its going to eat me up inside the next few days.

Just tonight i was telling a friend how i'd met her, and it made me so happy.. only to come home to talk to her bro, and have him tell me that.
Weve only been together about 6 months.. but honestly, its been a great 6 months until recently. Im trying to piece together what went wrong..

I think of myself as a good boyfriend... i dont know if i spend too much time on my car.. or what.. but i only do it when shes doing her own thing, or at work.

This just sucks i guess. Shes the 1st girl ive ever really opened up to alot of stuff about... so it makes it really hard on me.

Thanks for readin my story...


GIRLS SUCK.

 

[oki_boy]

nothing went wrong. she grew up.

being apart lets you realize alot of things about yourself, especially when you're off to college for the first time and taking in alot of new things at once.

not to pee in your wheaties, but high school relationships rarely work out. sometimes they do, but usually not.

6 months is relatively short also. i had a 2 year deal going with a girl from high school that lasted right up until she graduated. suprise suprise, she grew up too.

hopefully it works out the way you want it to. if not, trust me. you'll look back on it in a year and wonder why you got all worked up.

 

[MotegiMazdA]

Its not that you arent a good boyfriend. This happends all the time. You are hs sweethearts and then you grow up. Its not that she didnt and doesnt care about you but she just doesnt feel the same. It happend to me. Trust me it isnt you. Shes just got her sights in a different spot then where they were when the 2 of you got together.

You dont have to tell her that you know how she feels. Just tell her that if she doesnt want to be a part of this relationship to say so (no matter how much it hurts..because it does)..she doesnt need to be dragging you around and stringing you along for the ride because she doesnt know how to tell you or is too afraid to say something.

You dont have to stop being her friend. It will hurt at first but the both of you will always have some love for each other. And as time goes by it will get a lot easier. May not seem that way now..but you'll look back at it one day and see what all this was for and see how easy it became. Hang in there. (k)

My HS sweetheart and I are still friends. He wants to get back together with me and I dont. I went through hell with him when I was growing up and I dont want to be put through that again. As far as him and I go on a friend basis. He knows that He can call me whenever he needs something and Ill be there...thats what friends are for.

 

[acts]

Man that sucks. I know how hard it can be.. but the best thing may be just to bring it up and out so you can deal with it and get on with what you have to do. People change... all we can do as folks is cope, adapt and move on and pray for better things. Hope you feel better man.

 

[girth]

I know what it feels like buddy - it's like having a big lead bowling ball in your chest. But what can you do? It sucks when you've got feelings for a girl and those same feelings aren't returned, but that's life. There's really nothing you can do but hope that something equally good or better comes along later. Some things in life you cannot control; this is one of them.

 

[osudewd]

most definately do not to tell her that you know. ive been in the same situation, just let it unfold, you don't know what will happen. People have mood swings, change their minds. Don't take an active role, unless you just want it to be over right now.

 

[jcvmp5]

Bro I understand how you feel ...I went tru the same thing ... it sucks yes but you have to do what is best for the both of you .....you or her have to stand up and bring up .... good luck

 

[KyRaceFan]

Thanks for the advice

In my orig post, i made it sound like we were HS sweethearts. Not the case at all.. im 21 and shes 18. We met between her 1st and 2nd semester in college.
However, the past few months she has done alot of growing into college life. Lots of her HS friends arent around anymore for whatever reasons. I went through the same thing when i was 18-19..

Ohh well, maybe she'll come back from Wisco and realize she does still want to be with me, but i just hope she tells me she had these feelings so we can talk about it... But it seems i have to be the one to ask why things are different.


Thanks again!

 

[never Ender]

take it sleazy my neazy

 

[Mazdaspeedgirl]

That sucks. But with what everyone else has said, growing apart can happen.

You are young, yet. and though I am not discounting your feelings for her, you will move on. it won't be easy, especially if she was your first love, but people change. I was not ready to settle with anyone until I was in my mid/late twenties because I (as my own unique person) had a lot of growing up thru my late teens and early twenties to do before I figured out what I wanted.

I know it won't make much sense now, as prolly all the older people around you tell you your desires will change throughout your 20's, but I will repeat the sentiment. Hind sight is 20-20, and I only *thought* I knew what I wanted back at 21. heh, my how life turns, as would a twisty mountain road...

Hang in there sweetie.

 

[MotegiMazdA]

Dood I totally left my HS friends in the dust. Im in college and working full time they are doing drugs and pregant. People never stay the same.

 

[girth]

Diane makes a good point about how what you think you want changes in your twenties. Back in my early twenties I was extremely picky with the people I associated with but now that I'm in my late twenties the type of girls I'm attracted to has changed a lot. I'm not sure if it's because I'm more mature or more desperate....but whatever, the reason for the change doesn't matter I guess.

So there's a good chance that what you want in a girl is going to change yet anyway.

 

[KyRaceFan]

Dood I totally left my HS friends in the dust. Im in college and working full time they are doing drugs and pregant. People never stay the same.

Of my high school "friends" i hang out with 1 or 2 on a limited basis. We might go out to the bar occasionally, but most have moved on, because they really werent my friends anyway.. just people i went to school with.
Funny thing is, my best friend now, we went to middle and high school together, but were never really friends, other than maybe hanging out from time to time. Then i started to get into cars, and weve become very close since.

I actually met his sister, my girlfriend at his house when we were putting on his t3/t4 kit.

She gets back tomorrow i think, and im kinda preparing myself to break up.. but if she changed her mind, then i'll be fine with that too.

 

[KyRaceFan]

She got back monday night real late(airline delays), and we didnt get a chance to talk until last night.
She thought it would be easier if we were just friends right now... so my fears came true, and we broke up.
Im pretty bummed out, because she means so much to me, but shes just got some stuff in her life right now she needs to work out, and i guess i dont fit into the equation.

At least we'll still be friends, and are still close... but it still sucks.

 

[Replica]

She got back monday night real late(airline delays), and we didnt get a chance to talk until last night.
She thought it would be easier if we were just friends right now... so my fears came true, and we broke up.
Im pretty bummed out, because she means so much to me, but shes just got some stuff in her life right now she needs to work out, and i guess i dont fit into the equation.

At least we'll still be friends, and are still close... but it still sucks.

Ah, yes, alot of trickey b**** problems on the forum lately. Usually when a girl gets distant it means she's found someone else. If you try and stay friends, when she gets with another dude you will FREAK out. Trust me. If it were me, I'd do something self-destructive and totally dissapear. No phone call, no emails, no good byes, just gone....

 

[mopiko]

She got back monday night real late(airline delays), and we didnt get a chance to talk until last night.
She thought it would be easier if we were just friends right now... so my fears came true, and we broke up.
Im pretty bummed out, because she means so much to me, but shes just got some stuff in her life right now she needs to work out, and i guess i dont fit into the equation.

At least we'll still be friends, and are still close... but it still sucks.

Ahh... the part is growing up and learning to cope with tough time like this has come to you. Fear not, it will be a difficult time for you, however, it is part of your life experience. The reason you are so sad right now is because you were really happy with her. You have put it in a very good way, maybe you don't fit into her equation, but the cold hard truth is you are no longer with her. Trust me I know how you feel because I've been though this road several times. Is there a goal you want to work on in terms of yourself? (Career, School, etc.) if so think hard about that goal and remove her out of it for now. I know, I know, it's hard to hear stuff like this, but this is one of the ways you can try to focus yourself for your own good.

There are times when you do a lot of things for your girlfriend, but when she is gone you kind of lost your purpose. Use this time rather to examine and refocus. If you have the capacity to love a person and get bummed out when the person you love leaves you, you are indeed a good man. I am sure you have tons of potential you have not realize. Time to think about those potentials and work them out. Trust me you will find your love, but don't let it be your own priority. Things will fall in the right place in time, no need to rush and do your best to improve yourself and work hard to earn some money. At the mean time I am sure we are here for you to help you recover.

 

[MotegiMazdA]

I see people every now and then that I talked to in HS but I was the "outcast " I had 2 or 3 friends..or rather people I associtated with and that was it. The last year I was only there for one class a day and I heard people were looking for me but oh well. They had 3 years to find me why wait?

 

[KyRaceFan]

Nah, theres no one else.. she told me, and i dont think she could lie to me about it or hide it from me....

Plus, what id feared all along came true. Shes my best friends sister, it wont come between him and i as friends, but if i did need to stay away, it will be so damn hard.

 

[mopiko]

Nah, theres no one else.. she told me, and i dont think she could lie to me about it or hide it from me....

Plus, what id feared all along came true. Shes my best friends sister, it wont come between him and i as friends, but if i did need to stay away, it will be so damn hard.

KyRaceFan, realize one truth, even if she is not leaving you for another guy, there is a high chance that she will meet some guys and date them in the future, happened to me in all of my past experiences. So believe us, spare the trouble in the future, because if you are still bummed out about her, she got herself another one, and you will be super mad at her. No need for that, spare the trouble. Just separate yourself from her for a while.

 

[cbcbd]

This all sucks, I know. I've been in a relationship where I was waiting for the girl to mature and change and she didn't- that was like 5 years ago and the girl still hasn't grown, which is a shame for her because it left her stuck in the past.

People have to grow, it's the healthy thing to happen - they just do it at different speeds and times, which makes it hard for two people who seem to be great for each other to actually stay together unless they are both already at the end point - and makes it extremely hard when you are at the more evolved end of the scale and see this all happening and you can't do much about it.

Speaking from her point of view (which is where I am right now), it's just tough to force yourself at this point to stay with the person you're with. The more you'd push to stay the more the person would rebel, so I'm glad that you talked it out to her, even though it hurts.

Use this time now for you to also grow a little more. Sorry things went this way, but people usually always evolve for the best.