Top Ten Rejected James Bond Gadgets
- Thread starter Perdition
- Start date
Top Ten Signs It's NOT a Real Rolex Watch
10. Too many "m"s in Rolex
09. Waterproofing consists of an old Ziplok bag
08. Quits on the hour, every hour
07. Comes with free "real" Mona Lisa
06. Other than the watch, the street vendor was nude
05. The fact that it has a cuckoo mechanism might be a hint, Bobby
04. Plastic wristband says "Barbie Dream Rolex"
03. It just plain tastes funny
02. It runs on AA batteries
01. Three cranks on the "Quarter-rama" and you get two of them
10. Too many "m"s in Rolex
09. Waterproofing consists of an old Ziplok bag
08. Quits on the hour, every hour
07. Comes with free "real" Mona Lisa
06. Other than the watch, the street vendor was nude
05. The fact that it has a cuckoo mechanism might be a hint, Bobby
04. Plastic wristband says "Barbie Dream Rolex"
03. It just plain tastes funny
02. It runs on AA batteries
01. Three cranks on the "Quarter-rama" and you get two of them
Top Ten Failed Aftermarket Parts
10. Flashing Neon "Baby on Board" sign
09. 17" Wood spoke wheels
08. "Poser" windshield lettering
07. NOS's poorly conceived "CO2S" system
06. Leather Hood kits
05. Muffler that actually muffles
04. Altezza "Euro-look" glovebox light
03. Combination Billet gas cap/cigarette lighter
02. Porcupine steering wheel wrap
01. Blacklight headlamp conversion kit
10. Flashing Neon "Baby on Board" sign
09. 17" Wood spoke wheels
08. "Poser" windshield lettering
07. NOS's poorly conceived "CO2S" system
06. Leather Hood kits
05. Muffler that actually muffles
04. Altezza "Euro-look" glovebox light
03. Combination Billet gas cap/cigarette lighter
02. Porcupine steering wheel wrap
01. Blacklight headlamp conversion kit
Top Ten signs the relationship's over
10. She's been pretty much happily married a few years.
09. She asks if another girl can "sit in for her" on the next few dates.
08. Her pet name for you is "stalker".
07. She stays home to "wash her hair", and she's bald.
06. You're having to contact her by seance.
05. She slaps a sign on you that says, "For Sale".
04. Her answering machine has specific instructions for YOU to "just hang up, loser".
03. She asks if you have motion sickness. You say, "yes". She buys a houseboat.
02. You get a lovely Hallmark that starts, "Now that our relationship is over..."
01. She just shot you, again.
10. She's been pretty much happily married a few years.
09. She asks if another girl can "sit in for her" on the next few dates.
08. Her pet name for you is "stalker".
07. She stays home to "wash her hair", and she's bald.
06. You're having to contact her by seance.
05. She slaps a sign on you that says, "For Sale".
04. Her answering machine has specific instructions for YOU to "just hang up, loser".
03. She asks if you have motion sickness. You say, "yes". She buys a houseboat.
02. You get a lovely Hallmark that starts, "Now that our relationship is over..."
01. She just shot you, again.
Top Ten signs you're too old to be skateboarding
10. You're benched on a major tour by osteoporosis
09. You do a grind on the buffet line at Morrison's, stop for jell-o
08. Two Ollies and a Kickflip, and you're wheezing
07. All your WWII buddies make fun of your inability to 720
06. Your white patent leather belt clashes with your wing-tip skate shoes
05. You get a senior's discount on Surge
04. Can't pull a McTwist because of the walker
03. Your helmet is festooned with Big Band names
02. Your major endorser? Geritol
01. You're Tony Hawk's age, and you're NOT Tony Hawk
10. You're benched on a major tour by osteoporosis
09. You do a grind on the buffet line at Morrison's, stop for jell-o
08. Two Ollies and a Kickflip, and you're wheezing
07. All your WWII buddies make fun of your inability to 720
06. Your white patent leather belt clashes with your wing-tip skate shoes
05. You get a senior's discount on Surge
04. Can't pull a McTwist because of the walker
03. Your helmet is festooned with Big Band names
02. Your major endorser? Geritol
01. You're Tony Hawk's age, and you're NOT Tony Hawk
Top Ten signs your driving skills are lacking
10. You have several towing services on speed-dial
09. You're baffled by the pedals, and you drive an automatic
08. You use other cars' alarms as signs of a successful parallel park
07. Claims adjusters have you on their Christmas card lists
06. There's a special segment during the local weather to tell folks where you're driving today
05. You buy taillight tape in bulk
04. You keep the tires, replace the car every 25000
03. You've got an odometer that measures distance traveled upside-down
02. You've got a pile of used airbags five feet tall
01. World's Worst Drivers Caught on Video has a two-hour retrospective on your driving accidents in 1998.
10. You have several towing services on speed-dial
09. You're baffled by the pedals, and you drive an automatic
08. You use other cars' alarms as signs of a successful parallel park
07. Claims adjusters have you on their Christmas card lists
06. There's a special segment during the local weather to tell folks where you're driving today
05. You buy taillight tape in bulk
04. You keep the tires, replace the car every 25000
03. You've got an odometer that measures distance traveled upside-down
02. You've got a pile of used airbags five feet tall
01. World's Worst Drivers Caught on Video has a two-hour retrospective on your driving accidents in 1998.
Top Ten products rejected by Toys R Us
10. Lil' Stumpy home amputation kit for kids
09. "Is it rabid?" furry pet and carry case
08. Barbie Dream Mortuary
07. Dr. Kervorkian's EZ Bake oven
06. The "Run with scissors" home game
05. CPA halloween costume
04. Authentic battery-powered Redneck 4x4, cinderblocks and mullet hairpiece included
03. "Why school is useless" book series
02. Santa Claus is really just Dad action figure
01. Tofuland game
10. Lil' Stumpy home amputation kit for kids
09. "Is it rabid?" furry pet and carry case
08. Barbie Dream Mortuary
07. Dr. Kervorkian's EZ Bake oven
06. The "Run with scissors" home game
05. CPA halloween costume
04. Authentic battery-powered Redneck 4x4, cinderblocks and mullet hairpiece included
03. "Why school is useless" book series
02. Santa Claus is really just Dad action figure
01. Tofuland game
Top Ten Terrorist Bumper Stickers
10. Don't let the turban fool you, I'm Irish!
09. Bin Laden, Done that.
08. My other car is full of explosives
07. Allah is my Co-pilot
06. Honk if you are in a Jihad!
05. Ask me about my Cell leader
04. If it's too loud, it's probably C-4
03. I HEART my AK-47
02. If you can read this, you're in the blast radius
01. If the van's a-rockin', let the Bomb Squad come knockin'
10. Don't let the turban fool you, I'm Irish!
09. Bin Laden, Done that.
08. My other car is full of explosives
07. Allah is my Co-pilot
06. Honk if you are in a Jihad!
05. Ask me about my Cell leader
04. If it's too loud, it's probably C-4
03. I HEART my AK-47
02. If you can read this, you're in the blast radius
01. If the van's a-rockin', let the Bomb Squad come knockin'
Top Ten Signs you're a bad mountain climber
10. You think snow is "icky".
09. You have to hammer in a piton to get off the toilet.
08. You think that K2 is some goofy computer problem.
07. You thought "Verticle Limit" was loaded with realism.
06. You barf on every ferris wheel you ride.
05. You're not quite as likely to be found rappelling as just plain repelling.
04. Your hiking boots look suspiciously like ballet slippers.
03. Someone has to tell you, every time, "It's Resin! It's NOT powdered sugar!"
02. Your team decides to eat you BEFORE you leave base camp.
01. Every time someone says carabiner or crampon, you laugh yourself sick.
10. You think snow is "icky".
09. You have to hammer in a piton to get off the toilet.
08. You think that K2 is some goofy computer problem.
07. You thought "Verticle Limit" was loaded with realism.
06. You barf on every ferris wheel you ride.
05. You're not quite as likely to be found rappelling as just plain repelling.
04. Your hiking boots look suspiciously like ballet slippers.
03. Someone has to tell you, every time, "It's Resin! It's NOT powdered sugar!"
02. Your team decides to eat you BEFORE you leave base camp.
01. Every time someone says carabiner or crampon, you laugh yourself sick.
