Need advice...

Mr.Law

Member
:
Mazdaspeed MX-5 Miata
Seeing that you give advice to one another, I thought I'd toss this out there. Okay guys, here's my situation: as you know, I'm 28 and recently moved here from NYC. My girl and I have been together for nearly two years - she's a terrific girl who I've grown to love. We've discussed marriage, but would prefer to "get settled" before we dive into anything so serious. Here comes the problem: she left NYC to come with me to Chicago, but her parents are not dealing with this well. In fact, they've threatened to disown her if she doesn't go back to NYC to be with them. I think the fact that we're from different ethnic backgrounds only complicates matters - I'm Italian/Irish, she's Greek. I have a feeling if I had been a Greek boy this probably would not have been an issue for her folks. I respect her parents and know they want what's best for their daughter, but I'm frustrated because they know that she's happy with me here in Chicago. I love my girl very much and want her to be happy, but she's been stressing about this quite a bit as of late. We have excellent communication and talk through everything - but I could see this is tearing her apart. I know she loves her parents, but I'm not willing to give up on this relationship so easily. Great girls are hard to come by these days. My partners (here at work) are telling me to keep living with her, ignore her parents, and see what happens. Your advice/input would be appreciated.

BTW, as much as I'd like to give out legal advice, I cannot do so on the forums. However, I'd be glad to give out my business cards at a meet should you ever have questions or need an attorney. :rolleyes:
 
it is hard to say what to do. i did not meet my inlaws until my son was 2yrs old. that was because of a family fight before i met her. if you marry someone then you are starting your own family. but i know that with different backgrounds people have very strong traditions when it comes to family. you have to look at there point of view what if it was your kid? with different backgrounds family ties are really hard to break. the best thing to do is talk to her about what she wants to do, because you dont want have her throw it in your face later that she stayed because of you and gave up her family for you. i will be married 12yrs in Jan.. i have learned that family is very important on both side. they can make a your life easy or hell. best of luck with girlfriend and her family. wilson
 
well my view on this is if her parents care about having her so much they are not going to disown her on a issue such as this, it is a threat because they don't approve of your ethnicity. I'd say if you love her then try to keep with her but it is tearing her apart so much, take a plane ride to the family, discuss the situation and work from there.


p.s. i have no expertice/experience in any situation like htis.
 
Dexter said:
The greeks are gay.

I hart you bRy@n....

Mr. Law, tough situation....I agree with CChris that it's more than likely a threat, unless her parents are from the olde-old-school in which they'd actually go through with it.

Are they threatening it all because soley of the move to Chicago. How did you get along with them in NYC (if at all)....I guess what I'm getting at is the problem "you" or is the the "move". If she took you out of the equation (she moved to Chicago because of career, et al), do you think they'd react the same way (with her)?

Peace,
D (your resident Greek, and bRy@n's "friend")
 
a great girl and love are hard to find these days, but i would flip a coin. (smoke)
 
Damn where is Dr. Drew when you need him. This is a tough one mike. I have to agree with cchris. He definitely has a valid point and at least sounds like he knows what he is talking about. Sorry I don't have further input because that is definitely a tough situation to be in and something I have personally never been exposed to.

P.S. I knew your "little situation" was going to involve your girlfriend. And girls make you do funny things especially ones that are one in a million. Good luck Mike with whatever approach or route you take and believe me it will work out in the end.
 
if you are truly in love, stay with her. eventually her parents will (at least they SHOULD) realize that she is happy and they will accept it. if you let her go, you are always going to wonder 'what if...'
 
ANYTHING FOR LOVE!!! (sorry, stupid emoitional girl here.)

Don't ignore the parents because if you are planning on getting married and live the rest of your life with this girl, there has to be some kind of relations between the warring parties. My boyfriend is caucasion and I'm filipino, for us the different race thing isn't a problem and it shouldn't be for them.

p.s: Bring you girl to the meet! There will be lots of ladies for her to hang out with (friday)
 
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protejay5 said:
if you are truly in love, stay with her. eventually her parents will (at least they SHOULD) realize that she is happy and they will accept it. if you let her go, you are always going to wonder 'what if...'

Amen
 
This is a tough situation. From a practical point, just ask her what she wants and then finalize your decision together. Have you discussed this with her yet?

Personally I wouldn't care about the girlfriend's parents, but if she does decide to leave them for you, you will have a big obligation to her. Just make sure this is the girl that you will marry.
 
I think a good move would be to let her parents know that if they would ever like to see there daughter alive again to accept this relationship. (dark)
 
Dimitrios said:
I hart you bRy@n....

Mr. Law, tough situation....I agree with CChris that it's more than likely a threat, unless her parents are from the olde-old-school in which they'd actually go through with it.

Are they threatening it all because soley of the move to Chicago. How did you get along with them in NYC (if at all)....I guess what I'm getting at is the problem "you" or is the the "move". If she took you out of the equation (she moved to Chicago because of career, et al), do you think they'd react the same way (with her)?

Peace,
D (your resident Greek, and bRy@n's "friend")

So Dimitrios, you'll bring the baklava and ouzo to our next meet? My girlfriend will love you for it. :D
 
Anna-chan said:
ANYTHING FOR LOVE!!! (sorry, stupid emoitional girl here.)

Don't ignore the parents because if you are planning on getting married and live the rest of your life with this girl, there has to be some kind of relations between the warring parties. My boyfriend is caucasion and I'm filipino, for us the different race thing isn't a problem and it shouldn't be for them.

p.s: Bring you girl to the meet! There will be lots of ladies for her to hang out with (friday)

Thanks for the offer, Anna. I will bring her along - that is, if she's not busy. She happens to love cars too. (cool)
 
I agree w/Jose (Protejay5) in that her parents will have to eventually realize that she's chosen you to be with for the rest of her lives. Perhaps the whole moving to Chicago thing was too sudden for them and they're having difficulties adjusting to her being gone. Is she planning on going back home for Christmas? That could give her the chance to see her parents again and try to iron out any difficulties...

Good luck!
 
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