Funny pick-up lines

[adragonfly]

Okay guys and gals... more to blab about... What are some of the funniest pick up lines you've ever heard or used? Here's a few I can remember from high school...

"Nice shoes. Wanna fu*#?"

"That sweater looks becoming on you, but if I were on you I'd be coming too."

"I lost my number. Can I have yours?"

That's all I can think of right now... anyone else?

 

[Syzygy]

"Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like to?"

 

[Todd]

The most rescent I heard is "Do you work at subway? Cuz you just gave me a foot long."

By the way it was not said to me.

 

[Brubeck]

My absolute favorite:

"There's you with all those curves and here's me with no brakes"

and another that's not quite so good:

"Your daddy musta been a baker, cause you sure do have perfect buns"

 

[20ESGUY]

"You're pants must be a mirror, cause I can see myself in them."

 

[sundevilMP5]

"Can i read your shirt....in brail"

 

[Racer91]

Here ya go the definative list LOL

BTW damn that subway one is gooooood LOL

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
F@#! me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is Chris... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
Do you sleep on your stomach? No...? Can I???
I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think I saw him wander into that cheap hotel room over there...

 

[cjstringer]

My name is Chris... remember that, you'll be screaming it later....

I've got a shirt like that..

Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later.
I also have...

Buy me another drink, you're still ugly.

 

[freekwonder]

My name is Chris... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

I usually tell girls.. Remember my name, cause you will be telling it to the Cops later.

or remember my face, cause you'll need it for the police sketch...



just messin ladies, i say it joking around with my friends.

 

[OurP5]

My name is Chris... remember that, you'll be screaming it later....

I've got a shirt like that..

So do I. I get a lot of comments on it when I wear it. My Mom hates it and my wifes just shakes her head.

 

[adragonfly]

Here ya go the definative list LOL

BTW damn that subway one is gooooood LOL

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
F@#! me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
My name is Chris... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
Do you sleep on your stomach? No...? Can I???
I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think I saw him wander into that cheap hotel room over there...

Those are all soooo funny!

 

[Brubeck]

Then there's that John Candy line... I forget what movie, but he's at the airline counter and he says:

"I'll take two pickets to titsburg please"

 

[70]

adragonfly took my favorite already...

"Nice shoes, wana f*ck."

I also like, "Nice clothes, they'll look even better on my floor in the morning."

 

[Antoine]

Very funny guys...

Racer91...I'm still laughing...those are great

 

[BigBlue]

Lol and of course almost none of those lines would actually work!

 

[Perdition]

Try this one

I'm rich, lonely, in poor health and have a poor grasp of the American legal system...

Then just pick the babes as they pile up!

OR

"Hi." (Must be done standing in front of a yacht)

OR

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, would you mind if I bought you dinner and we just talked a while?

This last one only works on a few women, but from what I've heard, they might be worth it... but whadda I know?

 

[jdm_mp5]

its not as dirty as the other ones but it will do.

if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put U and I together

 

[jdm_mp5]

okay i got another one.

you like math?...well, we could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and mulitply

 

[cjstringer]

Lol and of course almost none of those lines would actually work!

You'd be surprised. Used many of them before just to be stupid. Works to break the ice, then you are basically in.

 

[adragonfly]

I just heard a couple more, courtesy of my best friend who's a guy...

"The word of the day is 'legs." Wanna help me spread the word?"

"Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?"

He's never actually used them, but I just remembered these from joking around in college.