So I'm driving home on 290 this evening around 7:30 or so. Its nice and warm, sun is out and i'm cruising down the left lane at about 70 mph rocking out to a little smashing pumpkins and alice in chains. All is good.
Then suddenly a metro grey 3 darts from the middle lane right behind me. Clearly he wanted to get around the the slow car in the middle lane and me as well based on how close he was to my rear bumper.
Now I had happened to see right before I got on the highway a metro gray ms3 getting ready to pull out of of the parking lot of a convenience store. He had out of state plates. When I looked in my rearview the guy tailing me had out of state plates too... I figured it must be the same guy meaning that it wasn't just any metro grey 3 behind me but a fellow ms3 owner. So I passed the slow car on the right put on my blinker and pulled to the middle lane to let him pass by.
Well I don't recall what state his tags said but is must have been a state with no manners run by heathens and adulterers. He flew by me like the dickens with out giving me the official mazdaspeed head nod, wave, or salute. You know that gesture we do to show that we know the other person in the other mazdaspeed we just encountered is not only a gentleman, AND a scholar, but a real top class kinda guy (or girl) for being clever enough to buy a mazdaspeed when everyone else bought something silly (like an STI).
He just flew by and I didn't even glance over. Nothing! How rude!
Furthermore he flew by like he had something to prove. Now my first MS3 was metro grey and we both know the True Red MS3 GT is quite a bit faster then the other colors, ESPECIALLY the metro grey ones. For those of you who don't own a true red MS3s and didn't know this its ok. The only place it is written down is in the owners manual for true red MS3s.
Here is what it says in the owners manual of all true red MS3s. It's on the last page of the book, which is on page 6132004. Yes, I know what your thinking. That number looks familiar. Well it of course it does. 6/13/2004 is the day the Olsen Twins turned 18. But I digress... here is the special message from Mazda.
"Dear valued customer,
Welcome to the family. We hope you enjoyed the complementary cuban cigars and fine malted scotch located in the glove box. If you did not find this yet they are next to the little mahogany box with the trojan magnums in it. Please know that the scotch glasses are 100% imported crystal and are from a set originally given to President Lincoln right before he was assassinated. When you are done with them simply place them back in the glove compartment and Miko will clean them for you after she finishes your massage. Also please remember to remove the custom fit fine Italian suit in the trunk so it does not become wrinkled during bouts of insane acceleration or spirited maneuvering.
As you are aware you have chosen the True Red MS3. This choice demonstrates a level of class and cunning above most. To this we say Good show! At this time you should feel comfortable knowing that you have arrived, and life only gets better from here. To help you on your journey we have included a few extra special features in the True Red MS3 that are fit only for an individual such as yourself. These features include the following;
*Side, front, and passenger airbags made of only the finest baby seal skin. The baby seals are beaten for hours to make sure their pelts are soft and lush. The pelts are then hand stitched by members of Green Peace.
*Break pads made of 100% pure African ivory. We can't have that nasty break dust getting all over your rims.
*A more precise tuning by the people on Ferrari's race team, giving you the kind of acceleration only fighter pilots who have hit the eject button could ever understand.
*A unlimited top speed because you are an important person of class and sophistication, and you don't have time to explain to your boss why smell of boose or why you had to sleep until 5 minutes before work started and are now an hour late. Not like it matters anyway you will probably taking over their position by next Tuesday anyway. Oh, that reminds us... Congrats on that new promotion you're about to get.
*A certain type of sex appeal that people with other colored cars will never truly understand or experience for themselves.
*An infused scent of rich hardwoods, and fine tobacco.
So please enjoy the features, and privileges found only in True Red MS3s. Remember that all Mazdaspeed dealers will refill your cubans and scotch on the as part of their standard service. Once again we would like to say Welcome to the Family. You've made it old boy!
Aside from that while all ms3s act as babe magnets, the true red MS3 just draws copious amounts of babes in a way that no other color can. I mean really, when im driving its almost annoying. Ladies of easy virtue just show up in my back seat or flock to the car when im cruising from light to light. Often it makes it hard to drive which is why I had to buy those $80 rally wipers to from SU. They are actually very effective for clearing your windshield of a superfluous amount of babes when you need to drive. So really I don't know what he was trying to prove. Next time hes in my state I'm just gonna have fly by him with the constant live lesbian show I have going on in my back seat so he knows his place. That will learn em a thing or two!
god im bored
Then suddenly a metro grey 3 darts from the middle lane right behind me. Clearly he wanted to get around the the slow car in the middle lane and me as well based on how close he was to my rear bumper.
Now I had happened to see right before I got on the highway a metro gray ms3 getting ready to pull out of of the parking lot of a convenience store. He had out of state plates. When I looked in my rearview the guy tailing me had out of state plates too... I figured it must be the same guy meaning that it wasn't just any metro grey 3 behind me but a fellow ms3 owner. So I passed the slow car on the right put on my blinker and pulled to the middle lane to let him pass by.
Well I don't recall what state his tags said but is must have been a state with no manners run by heathens and adulterers. He flew by me like the dickens with out giving me the official mazdaspeed head nod, wave, or salute. You know that gesture we do to show that we know the other person in the other mazdaspeed we just encountered is not only a gentleman, AND a scholar, but a real top class kinda guy (or girl) for being clever enough to buy a mazdaspeed when everyone else bought something silly (like an STI).
He just flew by and I didn't even glance over. Nothing! How rude!
Furthermore he flew by like he had something to prove. Now my first MS3 was metro grey and we both know the True Red MS3 GT is quite a bit faster then the other colors, ESPECIALLY the metro grey ones. For those of you who don't own a true red MS3s and didn't know this its ok. The only place it is written down is in the owners manual for true red MS3s.
Here is what it says in the owners manual of all true red MS3s. It's on the last page of the book, which is on page 6132004. Yes, I know what your thinking. That number looks familiar. Well it of course it does. 6/13/2004 is the day the Olsen Twins turned 18. But I digress... here is the special message from Mazda.
"Dear valued customer,
Welcome to the family. We hope you enjoyed the complementary cuban cigars and fine malted scotch located in the glove box. If you did not find this yet they are next to the little mahogany box with the trojan magnums in it. Please know that the scotch glasses are 100% imported crystal and are from a set originally given to President Lincoln right before he was assassinated. When you are done with them simply place them back in the glove compartment and Miko will clean them for you after she finishes your massage. Also please remember to remove the custom fit fine Italian suit in the trunk so it does not become wrinkled during bouts of insane acceleration or spirited maneuvering.
As you are aware you have chosen the True Red MS3. This choice demonstrates a level of class and cunning above most. To this we say Good show! At this time you should feel comfortable knowing that you have arrived, and life only gets better from here. To help you on your journey we have included a few extra special features in the True Red MS3 that are fit only for an individual such as yourself. These features include the following;
*Side, front, and passenger airbags made of only the finest baby seal skin. The baby seals are beaten for hours to make sure their pelts are soft and lush. The pelts are then hand stitched by members of Green Peace.
*Break pads made of 100% pure African ivory. We can't have that nasty break dust getting all over your rims.
*A more precise tuning by the people on Ferrari's race team, giving you the kind of acceleration only fighter pilots who have hit the eject button could ever understand.
*A unlimited top speed because you are an important person of class and sophistication, and you don't have time to explain to your boss why smell of boose or why you had to sleep until 5 minutes before work started and are now an hour late. Not like it matters anyway you will probably taking over their position by next Tuesday anyway. Oh, that reminds us... Congrats on that new promotion you're about to get.
*A certain type of sex appeal that people with other colored cars will never truly understand or experience for themselves.
*An infused scent of rich hardwoods, and fine tobacco.
So please enjoy the features, and privileges found only in True Red MS3s. Remember that all Mazdaspeed dealers will refill your cubans and scotch on the as part of their standard service. Once again we would like to say Welcome to the Family. You've made it old boy!
Aside from that while all ms3s act as babe magnets, the true red MS3 just draws copious amounts of babes in a way that no other color can. I mean really, when im driving its almost annoying. Ladies of easy virtue just show up in my back seat or flock to the car when im cruising from light to light. Often it makes it hard to drive which is why I had to buy those $80 rally wipers to from SU. They are actually very effective for clearing your windshield of a superfluous amount of babes when you need to drive. So really I don't know what he was trying to prove. Next time hes in my state I'm just gonna have fly by him with the constant live lesbian show I have going on in my back seat so he knows his place. That will learn em a thing or two!
god im bored
