Women!!!!????

[APEXistud]

Some more rambling here. I figured that if I posted this, someone out there might be able to relate to what I'm talking about. OK, here's the deal. I'm starting a new job and part of them hiring me is that they have to fly me down to southern cali to train me (my first official business trip by the way). Anyhow, I figured that this will be a good way for me to get away from all the mess that I've been going through for the past 3 months at my other job and a possible opportunity to get away from everything else (this would also be known as a vacation).

So, here it is Thursday night, I get off work and think, "hell yeah, I'm in Downtown San Diego on a Thursday night. There's got to be some partyin goin on." The whole downtown club scene is fun to me because I rarely get to experience it. So, I quickly run upto my hotel room, get a quick shave in before I leave, but unfortunately, my girl calls and starts asking me what's up. I said nothing much, just tryin to get ready to go get something to eat and go hang out downtown. Them bam.....!!!! She starts flipping out somewhat about how I'm not there for her or something. Of course me being a typical guy I'm thinking, "No s*** I'm not there, because I'm in fuggin San Diego right now". Then she starts running off about how I've been different the past few days. At this point I'm pissed because I know that I'm not going to be able to go hang out and roam around tonight.

To make a long story short. She single handedly killed my mini business trip/vacation by calling me and giving me the guilt trip. My question here is....Should I feel guilty for wanting to get away from everything including my girlfriend? We talked things out on the phone and everything's fine, but I feel bad for not wanting to talk to her when she needed me due to her stresses. But at the sametime, I'm pissed because I feel like I can't get any ME time or to do anything. It's either I'm working, I'm sleeping, or I'm with her (and I only see her on the weekends usually). I do feel like a selfish dickhead, but I'm out here trying to enjoy myself, especially since everything is being paid for by the company. What do you guys think

 

[LinuxRacr]

Sounds like she doesn't have the maturity to handle your new found success and the changes that came with it. When I think about her reaction, 2 things come to mind:

1. Insecurity
2. Sapril!!(Asianhottie/heartbroken)

Those two things sum it up right there. If she can't be secure with who you are now, and be understanding about the temporary things you have to do now to establish yourself, then you are in for a bumpy ride.

To make a long story short. She single handedly killed my mini business trip/vacation by calling me and giving me the guilt trip. My question here is....Should I feel guilty for wanting to get away from everything including my girlfriend? We talked things out on the phone and everything's fine, but I feel bad for not wanting to talk to her when she needed me due to her stresses. But at the sametime, I'm pissed because I feel like I can't get any ME time or to do anything. It's either I'm working, I'm sleeping, or I'm with her (and I only see her on the weekends usually). I do feel like a selfish dickhead, but I'm out here trying to enjoy myself, especially since everything is being paid for by the company. What do you guys think

This is similar to some of the situations that me and Sapril went thru. I was always around her, and the baby and she would go and hang out sometimes. When I wanted to hang out, it seemed weird to her, and I had to be up to no good. And I didn't have many friends, and still don't. Now that I am away from her, I can see more clearly about these things. Bottom line is you need some "ME" time so you don't end up feeling like you don't want to be around you girl. The more she tires to put a grip on everything you do, the more lubricant she is adding to let you slip away. If things don't change, they will get worse. As someone who has been in your situation, I know. It's a maturity thing. You will have nothing but problems with immature women who act more like little girls. If you continue to feel like you stated aboove, it may be time to move on buddy.

 

[LinuxRacr]

And no, you shouldn't feel guilty. If you feel like that, something is up. Either you need some much needed away time, or some stress relief. True, issues she may be having are important, and it is good of you to listen. Communication is the key to a good relationship, but if fear and distrust (not saying that it is)is at work, there is a problem. Hope everything worked out at the end of your conversation.

 

[1sty]

You need to become impervious to the guilt trip. I had a mother that loved trying them and I built up an impressive immunity so know whenever my girlfriend tries them I either ignore her or just hang up, not to mention after 7 years(yestureday) she's starting to realize they don't work.

For an example she called me on my cell to say happy annaversary yestureday, I didn't get the message untill 5 pm and I knew I would see her by 7 so I didn't call back. When I saw her she immetaly started in about me not calling her back. So I showed her the flowers I got her for our annaversary and told her to stop or I'm taking them back. Peaceful night after that.

If your women is unsecure or possibly just plain nutty, other then finding a new one there isn't much you can do. The most important thing I have found is peolpe are too willing to bend themselves around to please a mate and it is never enough. If you can't be your plain old self, there aint a chance in hell the relationship will last.

Also realize women most of the time just want to b**** and will anything to those means, thats where ignoring comes in handy.

 

[APEXistud]

SHe's usually a strong minded woman, but occasionally (or so she's told me), she needs that extra call to let her know that I'm ok. My reply to that statement is that I'm a grown adult and I can take care of myself. I didn't think that I needed to re-enforce that. But, I guess her and I are in for a long talk when I get back. I mean christ, I've only been away for a week.

I think it really bothered her when I told her that I don't need to hear from people everyday. I was telling her that in a grown up adult world, people need to be able to handle some "AWAY" time and everyone every now and then need some some "ME" time. From my experience it's usually us men that need it more than the women. Perfect example...how often do you hear about women taking fishing trips, hikes, or going for long drives by themselves. Never have I heard of a woman doing that, but I am only 23 and have a lot to see and experience.

Also, by nature anyway, women are just more social creatures than men. They seem to need someone there for them more than men do. When you think about it, our whole lives we've been taught to "tough it out" or "sack up and be a man". Women are usually taught to long for comfort. Maybe that's what she's used to getting, that attention from family member and girlfriend. I on the other hand lived by myself for 2 yrs in another state and spent my holiday's alone and that's what I got used to.

I've gotten a lot better since I got back to Cali, but I still have some adjusting to do.

 

[blynzoo]

YEah, they just worry about us all the damn time.
Dont feel guilty. That's why we work different jobs, have guy friends. I dont know of any couple that spends ALL their time together.

Oh, and 1st, CONGRATS on 7 years, cat.

 

[mypfizzle]

bro. just look at it this way. if it was reversed would she sit in her hotel room waiting for you to call? noooooooooo.. i kno my girl wouldnt.. but at the same time.. if i go out.. i get snapped at.. it sucks man..

 

[Newf]

I think it really bothered her when I told her that I don't need to hear from people everyday. I was telling her that in a grown up adult world, people need to be able to handle some "AWAY" time and everyone every now and then need some some "ME" time. From my experience it's usually us men that need it more than the women. Perfect example...how often do you hear about women taking fishing trips, hikes, or going for long drives by themselves. Never have I heard of a woman doing that, but I am only 23 and have a lot to see and experience.


Also, by nature anyway, women are just more social creatures than men. They seem to need someone there for them more than men do. When you think about it, our whole lives we've been taught to "tough it out" or "sack up and be a man". Women are usually taught to long for comfort. Maybe that's what she's used to getting, that attention from family member and girlfriend. I on the other hand lived by myself for 2 yrs in another state and spent my holiday's alone and that's what I got used to.

Amen! How true is this? Most woman seem to need to have attention 7/24/365. It's like I'm babysitting all the time, make no wonder men need things like fishing, hunting, cars etc. It gives us a break of the daily preasures of having to keep the woman occupied. Beleive me, I know what you are talking about all too well. I've been with my woman near 6 years, not married, own a home together, and I can relate. I actually look forward to her nights out as well, so I can have "me" time.

Don't feel guilty...she won't when she's "out with the girls" so relax, have fun etc, just don't do anything stupid because your pissed.

 

[big_ben]

If she thinks she can't trust you, you may as well get used to this type of thing happening for the rest of your life if you stay with her. If that's not what you want, then you know what you need to do.