What Your Car Says About You

goldwing2000

OG Mazda Mafia
:
2004 Mazda3s Hatch; 346,000 mi (sold)
2024 CX-5 CE; 7,500 mi (so far)
"What Your Car Says About You"

1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.

2. Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars.

3. Acura NSX: I am impotent.

4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires.

5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

6. Cadillac Eldorado : I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp.

8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people.

9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.

10. Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a midlife crisis.

11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.

12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather.

13. Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

14. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.

15. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.

16. Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart).

17. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones.

18. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them.

19. Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

20. Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

21. Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

22. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and have no credit.

23. Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemon.

24. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

25. Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

26. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

27. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.

28. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

29. Mercury Grand Marquis: (See Lincoln Town Car).

30. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.

31. Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.

32. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an 18 wheeler.

33. MGB: I am dating a mechanic.

34. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what it means either.

35. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

36. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....

37. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

38. Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.

39. Pontiac Trans AM: I have a switchblade in my sock.

40. Porsche 944: I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.

41. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal.

42. Saturn SC2: (See Honda Civic).

43. Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more.

44. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet.

45. Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

46. Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the closet.

47. Volkswagon Microbus: I am tripping right now.

48. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife.
 
MKIV Volkswagons: In my world, powerful and inscrutable super-cuteness outweighs expensive quality issues... I also spoil children.

Audi: This is what VW will offer in 3 years. Buy this beta-version now for twice the price!
 
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