alright i went back to the wiring, and apparently you have to give the two memory wires power in order for the ECU to tell the alternator to stop working. That's kind of odd in my opinion... but it worked, i get steady voltage and no battery or check engine light \m/.
for some reason the fuse going to my alarm shorted out about 5 times, have NO idea why, as soon as i reconnected the power it would just short, that'll get solved a long time from now. i could actually tune with the wideband now that it's getting steady voltages =)