Should read through the thread some more, but here's a quick response. =)
I am running an equal length header; 4-1, 22" primaries at 1 3/8", custom made (Made by Traveler) header. The whole exhaust isn't stock, in fact. Not a single piece of it. =)
The head milling thing will be very light; I'm actually welding up the quench area of the head, which in turn increases compression and decreases detonation; The head is actually my next mod that's going onto the car. I'm getting a good set of custom made valves (Probably not too far from stock, though), with a little seat work done, and a good chunk of port work done on the intake and exhaust ports. I should be pushing close to 10.5:1 compression, if the volume changes appropriatly, as I've predicted.
I am most likely going with either the AEM or a Haltech, at this point. It remains to be seen exactly which, depending on cost and features, ad-nausium.
As I mentioned, my whole exhaust is modified, and I'm only running a single cat, now, and even that is a high flow cat. You should hear the car; It's full of burps, and pops, and the idle's nice and lumpy, even though I upped it to about 850rpm.
The car is hardly 'lightly' modified, but I've reached a standstill until I get the big money dumped into the head. That will be next. Oh yes. It will be mine. Muaha.