In need of your point of view on relationship crap

[JonnyTheJet]

I went through a similar situation in a past relationship that lasted almost 12 years. She will never change and if she does, it won't be with you. That's the harsh reality unfortunately. When I came to that realization my life and outlook became a whole lot better. The day I broke it off with her completely, was one of the best days of my life. No more having to feel crappy or concerned. Cut your loses and all will work out in your benefit.

You have to tell yourself that you do not deseve to be treated like this!

 

[SuperStretch18]

All good comments above; I just want to add that you should think about what initially attracted you to your wife and how she acted at the very beginning of your relationship. Not so you can save this relationship, but so that you can be sure that you don't wind up in the same situation with a different person. It's sad, but people have a tendency to re-live the same mistakes that they have already made.

In any case, do yourself a favor and don't rush into another relationship. Enjoy being your kids and being single for a bit...

 

[Killer]

My suggestion would be see a professional. Not a bunch of people on an Internet board.

 

[SuperStretch18]

My suggestion would be see a professional. Not a bunch of people on an Internet board.

Agreed, but sometimes you just need to get the point of view of others to make sure you are not the one going insane...

 

[clicknext]

I don't have any advice to offer you, but I sincerely wish the best for you, and your kids.

 

[RXMmazdaspeed]

tallrd, the best i can say as others have already posted is to document everything in order for you to take custody of the kids, as that seems to be the best option for them. she doesnt seem mature enough to handle the responsibilities of being a mother.

i personally, don't have any advice to offer you... and as killer said definitely seek a professional. we are here for for support and i hope the best for you personally, but more importantly the children.

 

[Foolish]

My suggestion would be see a professional. Not a bunch of people on an Internet board.

and as killer said definitely seek a professional.

He tried that:

She actually went to see this guy on the very same day that the marriage counselor said "the 3rd party would typically be out of the picture if you are to expect your marriage to improve." It's like she was thinking 'that goes against what I want, so the counselor must be wrong and I'll do it anyway b/c it feels good to me.'

 

[BlackCherry06]

I've been through relationship counseling. While it did illuminate the root(s) of the problems, it didn't solve them. All the time and money spent would've come in handy when it came time for me to move out.

 

[Newf]

It's not your job to force this woman to grow up and lie in the bed she's made for herself. Adults are responsible for figuring out what they are and aren't ready for, and she was clearly not ready to be married and raise a family. She's waited until after she's made all these committments to decide she still has oats to sow. Under no circumstances should you allow this woman to remain in your life as more than the mother of your children. She may NEVER settle down. You fulfilled your obligations, you followed through with what you were supposed to do and you offered all the support a human being could offer, and she basically kicked it all to the curb for the trash collector to pick up. Take care of your kids, go on with your life and by all means, don't rush into a new relationship. Go it alone for a while and find yourself again. DO NOT put band-aids on what's left of this marriage for the sake of the children. They will survive it, I promise you. For a while, you may feel like a statistic, but time heals all wounds. You have to have a real reason to remain together, and from what I'm reading, there is no foundation. You're worthy of so much more, so first...make yourself happy, and when you've reached that point, bring someone into your life that compliments you. Best of luck to you.

Without hearing both sides of the story I don't like to make judgements one way or the other. But, I would have to agree with everything said in this quote based on what we have read here.

Best of luck. Don't try to make things work with her just for the kids. You can't spend your life in misery for anyone and shouldn't have to. It'll be hard at first, but as you move on...if you do of course as the choice is all yours, but once you do what you feel is the right thing, you'll be happier, and your kids will eventually be happier as well.

 

[Newf]

Dead honest truth? Take MDMA (Ecstasy) together, and you'll recombine like two pieces of velcro. Also, its a lot of fun.

Before some asshole in congress decided it was illegal, it was used as a supremely effective marital aid, and it works for that just as much today as it did when originally slated for that purpose. The emotional reattachment is long-lasting, perhaps permanent.

You can thank me later...

this is simply just sad, that you would even mention it here in this serious thread. If I was an admin, I'd delete it.

 

[MiaTurbo]

wow... i got through the first few sentences... i still don't understand why people put their private business out there for the whole world to see. I know there is a certain level of annonimity on this collection of tubes, but wow.

You should talk to your family instead. not a bunch of strangers about something so personal.

 

[tallrd]

You should talk to your family instead. not a bunch of strangers about something so personal.

I have talked to my family extensively. It's fair to read that YOU would not talk to a bunch of strangers. That's fine, but it's not fair to judge me for wanting opinions of other people and gathering perspective. Sometimes that's hard to do on one's own when counseling and questioning the other parties involved hasn't done so.

Walk a mile in my shoes before you call me on my approach. This is actually useful for me to at least talk about it with other people. I didn't say "tell me what to do." I just asked for opinions, and I appreciate every single one of them.

back on topic...