So yeah. let me tell the story. I am not really expecting like "sorry" replies or advice, i'm move just writing my thoughts down to help me deal:
So, me and my girlfriend have beengoing out for a lil over 8 months now. We got together when I was a senior in college and she was a sophmore. We had an AMAZING relationship. We more or less lived with each other for 7 months. In the summer, I was taking classes to finish up completly and she stayed in my room the whole summer basically. We never got tired of each other or anything and every aspect of the relationship was to me, perfect.
Now, I moved back home (about 160 miles away) beginning of september. My gf is a very needy/affectionate person. One reason I didnt' want to even get into the relationship was I was afraid what would happen when I graduated. She reassured me we would do great. However, as time passed, she would miss me to an extreme degree. When i would go up and visit it was great, but when I left, she would cry right before I go. In early october, right after one of my visits she said we needed to talk. She was explaining how she was not happy. She basically could not deal with the distance. She was feeling very misersable and was doubting if we could last. (remember, she has 2 more years of college and she is going to grad school.) I reassured her I was in this for the long haul and that I would not be giving up on her. I said I would try better to call everyday just to talk (i have weird habits with the phone where i hate it haha.) We left off as still together and we did indeed talk a lot.
I started getting concnered however as when I would attempt to visit she found reasons why I shouldn't come up such as, she was working all weekend (which she does) and had to study for 2 tests. She also lost her wallet one weekend and didn't want me to come up cause we couldn't go out because she didn't have an ID. Of course I said I would easily come out just to go to the movies and spend time. So I was supposed to come up this weekend. However, she said we needed to talk again and this time she came right out and said she thinks we need to go on a break. She restated she was not happy and she needed time to herself to figure out what she wants. I brought up how I dont' want to go on a break, how are relationship is AMAZING when we are together. She agreed but said...the problem is we are not together. She said the reason she didn't want me to come up was because she was debating if we needed to go on a break. I personally think she knows how hard it would be to say "lets go on a break" after being together again and/or she didn't want to feel the hurt of me leaving again.
But it basically is we are on a break now. I left it as we can see other people , you know, to see if our relationship is what she wants, but we can't hook up or do anything with them. I am just hurt that at the first sign of a monkey wrench into the relationship she seems to be giving up. Granted, she was in a long distance relationship when she got to college and it ended terribly, so I feel she is comparing the situation again....which is giving me a very unfair advantage. I even suggested I move back up to the college are (Albany, NY) and find a job there because even I wasn't happy (or at least MUCH happier with her). However shes afraid of the pressure that would put on her. She said what if we broke up and you moved up here for me...I would feel terrible. So now we are on a break. She needs time to herself, and I have to respect that. She is young and a junior in college and shes right...she shouldn't have to feel terrible.
The thing I don't understand is if we were to end it and she truly is still in Love with me she would still be miserable. Ending a relationship that rocks when you are together would leave you missing it just as much as us not being together while we are a couple. I just don't want to be strung along on this break only to break up a month later becuase I have no intention of seeing anyone else or anything like that....but if she knows she wants to break up now and doesn't want to fully commit to that, I would be very upset.
Basically this sucks and is at a terrible time. I am having trouble finding a job post college, my father is selling the house in a month time so I have to find some where to live and my cat died 3 weeks ago (thats just kicking a man while hes down.) I am actually a bit peeved she would do this to me while I am having a rough time in life, but at the same time, I respect her for being honest with me about the situation. Anywho....Love sucks. It makes you miserable. I am willing to wait for her tho. Even if we fully broke up. College is a rough time on relationships and shes still young. We'll see how things go.
So, me and my girlfriend have beengoing out for a lil over 8 months now. We got together when I was a senior in college and she was a sophmore. We had an AMAZING relationship. We more or less lived with each other for 7 months. In the summer, I was taking classes to finish up completly and she stayed in my room the whole summer basically. We never got tired of each other or anything and every aspect of the relationship was to me, perfect.
Now, I moved back home (about 160 miles away) beginning of september. My gf is a very needy/affectionate person. One reason I didnt' want to even get into the relationship was I was afraid what would happen when I graduated. She reassured me we would do great. However, as time passed, she would miss me to an extreme degree. When i would go up and visit it was great, but when I left, she would cry right before I go. In early october, right after one of my visits she said we needed to talk. She was explaining how she was not happy. She basically could not deal with the distance. She was feeling very misersable and was doubting if we could last. (remember, she has 2 more years of college and she is going to grad school.) I reassured her I was in this for the long haul and that I would not be giving up on her. I said I would try better to call everyday just to talk (i have weird habits with the phone where i hate it haha.) We left off as still together and we did indeed talk a lot.
I started getting concnered however as when I would attempt to visit she found reasons why I shouldn't come up such as, she was working all weekend (which she does) and had to study for 2 tests. She also lost her wallet one weekend and didn't want me to come up cause we couldn't go out because she didn't have an ID. Of course I said I would easily come out just to go to the movies and spend time. So I was supposed to come up this weekend. However, she said we needed to talk again and this time she came right out and said she thinks we need to go on a break. She restated she was not happy and she needed time to herself to figure out what she wants. I brought up how I dont' want to go on a break, how are relationship is AMAZING when we are together. She agreed but said...the problem is we are not together. She said the reason she didn't want me to come up was because she was debating if we needed to go on a break. I personally think she knows how hard it would be to say "lets go on a break" after being together again and/or she didn't want to feel the hurt of me leaving again.
But it basically is we are on a break now. I left it as we can see other people , you know, to see if our relationship is what she wants, but we can't hook up or do anything with them. I am just hurt that at the first sign of a monkey wrench into the relationship she seems to be giving up. Granted, she was in a long distance relationship when she got to college and it ended terribly, so I feel she is comparing the situation again....which is giving me a very unfair advantage. I even suggested I move back up to the college are (Albany, NY) and find a job there because even I wasn't happy (or at least MUCH happier with her). However shes afraid of the pressure that would put on her. She said what if we broke up and you moved up here for me...I would feel terrible. So now we are on a break. She needs time to herself, and I have to respect that. She is young and a junior in college and shes right...she shouldn't have to feel terrible.
The thing I don't understand is if we were to end it and she truly is still in Love with me she would still be miserable. Ending a relationship that rocks when you are together would leave you missing it just as much as us not being together while we are a couple. I just don't want to be strung along on this break only to break up a month later becuase I have no intention of seeing anyone else or anything like that....but if she knows she wants to break up now and doesn't want to fully commit to that, I would be very upset.
Basically this sucks and is at a terrible time. I am having trouble finding a job post college, my father is selling the house in a month time so I have to find some where to live and my cat died 3 weeks ago (thats just kicking a man while hes down.) I am actually a bit peeved she would do this to me while I am having a rough time in life, but at the same time, I respect her for being honest with me about the situation. Anywho....Love sucks. It makes you miserable. I am willing to wait for her tho. Even if we fully broke up. College is a rough time on relationships and shes still young. We'll see how things go.
