Get rid of a girlfriend that lives with you?

[ForceFed]

Get rid of a girlfriend that lives with you?Well damn ,now its done,now what?See pg.6

I am really up in the air on this one !
I have a girlfriend that I have been dating that has a 2 yr. old son and lives with me.She lost her Apt. like 4 months ago and was supposed to get her own ASAP ,but while she was looking was going to stay at my house.Well ,it's 4 months later and she is still at my house.She says she loves me but I know that I don't love her nor will I ever probably.
Here is the tricky part.
She really is a good girl ,and treats me pretty well so I don't know what the prob is.I'm, just to make it short"not feelin her",if you know what I mean.
I really want to break up with her but then there is the issue of her "attached son" and the fact that she really has nowhere else to go.I tend to get aggrivated with a lot of things and her being around isn't making my life any easier?
I really want to go about this in the right way ,but I just don't see how to do this without someone really getting hurt.
Long story short,I need my freedom,my space,and my house back to myself.(not to mention,i'd like to get my garage back too!It's full of her belongings.)
Guy's I really need some help here!
PLEASE!
Matt

 

[AGR]

Listen,,and listen good.

If you do not love her; don't think love will grow if you marry her, or simply let her stay with you. That is a huge mistake.

I am very serious. If there are doubts; break it off now. It might hurt (her), more than you. But; better now than later. I know.

 

[Heathen23]

Force you have to have a good sit down talk with this woman. Be reasonable and if she needs a little time to find something then so be it but you have to let her know your intentions. Otherwise your wasting her time and your time under false pretenses. She probably thinks you two are going to end up together and doesn't see a need to find another place. You need to just let her know what's up!

 

[Matthew]

Matt, listen to another Matt...

If she is helping you pay rent or whatever, then if you like her enough to stay and help pay rent until she finds a place, fine, but either way you need to sit her down, tell her things arent working out, and you would like her to find her own place.

 

[servoeyes]

^^^
The geezer (AGR) has a point. Less pain now than later...besides it doesn't sound like you've been seeing her that long. All things being equal...do it now, if not solely for yourself or for her, than do it for the child before he becomes attached (and before you recipricate). If she's really that nice then you can always have a friend in her, but you have to break it off.

Define together what you feel should be the utcome of the relationship from that point. Let her stay with you, but help her find a place and get back on her feet(not monetarily...just offer some time and assistance). Try to set a reasonable date to have her out by, together. That's what I would do facing this kind of situation...but hey...I'm only 22, so what do i know?

 

[Kooldino]

Yeah, what Heathen said.

This is why I'm VERY against me having a live in gf. But I can understand you had little choice in your situation.

 

[ForceFed]

Well guy's heres the low down...

I am only 25 yrs old,and pretty successful for my age.
I have a pretty good and stable(SP?) job,I own my own home,I have a nice new car,and still have a little money to spare.
She does not help with bills "per se",except for the fact that she does buy a few things for the house and some groceries.She does not have a stable job and really has no money saved to get a place of her own.
I don't want to put her out but I really think I need to get out of this relationship.It is starting to remind me of one that I had for 3 yrs. with another girl that ended real bad.I wasn't right for like a year after that one,and I really haven't had a steady girlfriend untill this one.Friday night was the kicker.She made me mad enoughthat I wanted to really punch her!But I didn't,instead,I hit her with a pillow and went to bed.I knew right there that this was not going right,despite the housing situation.
Also,when it comes to talking to her,I know what I really want to say ,but then i "clam up" not wanting to hurt her feelings.I know this is not good for the long run,and I realy know that this is not who I want to be with.She is not ambitiuos enuogh for me nor do I think she ever will be.
She is only 22 with a 2 year old son ,so I can understand that it isn't easy raising a child with very little or no help,but ,I don't think I'm ready at this point of my life to try to help with this.I really have a lot of things I want to do and being with her has definately out a damper on this.
The more I talk the more confused I get?
I'm gonna take a 5minute break to recoup my thoughts then I'll come back to type more.
Someone please give me some advise that I can use in real life!
Keep in mind that when it comes to her I am horribble at communicating!
Also remember that she has done nothing wrong and she would make a great girlfriend ,but just not for me?
I don't get it ,why I am doing this to myself?
Matt

 

[alcoholiday]

"Get rid of a girlfriend that lives with you?"

yes, that's a good idea.

sounds like a bad situation. change the locks. it's only going to get harder as it drags on.

 

[Matthew]

Well, if its hard to communicate, youre gonna have a hard time. i know what you mean though, you want to say it but just cant. unfortunately, theres not much you can do until you overcome that barrier, short of doing immature things like treating her like crap to get her to leave you (which probably wont work anyhow), and you see more mature than that...

-matthew

 

[LinuxRacr]

Listen to Heathen and ARG. Trust me! From personal experience.

 

[ghetto waggon]

I'd never date a girl I wouldnt consider marrying

I'm a picky bastard!

 

[AGR]

Listen to Heathen and ARG. Trust me! From personal experience.

Damn it, Man!!! It's AGR!!!!!!!!! GGGGRrrrrrrrr:mad:

Now relax,,,,and look at my avatar.

 

[sundevilMP5]

dude you need to watch jerry magwuire and you'll have all you're answers...lol

but really you need to definitely sit her down and set everything straight...sounds like you are a good person and are willing to help her out which is good...but she needs to know ASAP that is all it is...a good person helping a friend out...

or the alternative route (if you wanna be super dick)...when she's gone just put all her stuff outside and change the locks...(i've seen it done and it's not a pretty ending)

 

[ForceFed]

Well, if its hard to communicate, youre gonna have a hard time. i know what you mean though, you want to say it but just cant. unfortunately, theres not much you can do until you overcome that barrier, short of doing immature things like treating her like crap to get her to leave you (which probably wont work anyhow), and you see more mature than that...

-matthew

Unfortunatly,I tried the treating her like s*** thing like a month ago and it didn't work.I know ,I am more mature that that but it seemed like it would work at the time.DUMB MOVE on my part.None of my friends like her,because they say she is too contolling and always wants to know where I am and what I'm doing.These are not all guy friends either.Long time girl "FRIENDS" that are saying this to me.They keep raggin' on me because I say I'm gonna tell her but I never do!I just don't know how to do it right.I have been contemplating how to do this for well over a month now with no solution.No matter how I do it ,it's gonna bite me in the arse!
Matt

 

[mypfizzle]

matt. there is no nice way out of this. you have to sack up your nuts and tell her.. hey.. you gottah go.. it may be hard for you and it may hurt her.. but if its your home and its what you want.. then you have that right. after all the agreement was she would stay there just until she found a new place. well she is putting out 0 effort so she needs to go.

 

[LinuxRacr]

Damn it, Man!!! It's AGR!!!!!!!!! GGGGRrrrrrrrr:mad:

Now relax,,,,and look at my avatar.

My bad. Arg is just so much more funny....ARRG!!

AGR=Andretti Green Racing

 

[Matthew]

lol sorry for the unintential dis...i feel you though, when you get desperate you do silly things...but in her case, id bet you could kick her ass all around the house and shed never leave...hmmm, ill have to get back to you im trying to think of how to break the news to her...where do you work? (just out of curiosity)

 

[YP5 Toronto]

Matt....

Write it down in a letter....I know its chessy...but for many people who "clam up" when it comes time to do the deed... writing down on paper will better insure that you are telling her exactly what needs to be said (whatever that may be).

Write it up....
Sit her down...
Hand it to her to read....
Sit with her in the same room/table/couch...
let her digest....then talk about it...

my $0.02....I have done this once before and it worked.

 

[Matthew]

i dont know about that...to modify that pretty good suggestion, i would write it down, sit her down and tell her you need to talk (the hardest part), then kinda read from the paper...this will force you to spill your guts because if you clam up she will want to read the paper anyhow...this way you have done the right thing and told her to her face, and your backup is knowing that if you dont tell her shell read the letter anyhow...shell appreciate it much more if you make the effort to tell her yourself

 

[MarkSpark]

Re: Listen,,and listen good.

If you do not love her; don't think love will grow if you marry her, or simply let her stay with you. That is a huge mistake.

I am very serious. If there are doubts; break it off now. It might hurt (her), more than you. But; better now than later. I know.

You are the semi-colon KING.