Funniest Thing you ever told a cop

during my sobriety test

Cop: Do you know your ABC's

Me: No sir i went to Rustburg High School

I didn't remember this, i read it in police report when i was at my lawyers...

Ended up blowing a .19

Later figured out that cop went to the same high school.
 
I ended up getting pulled over on my bike because I was with a (now-ex) friend who just had to be stupid in area's known to have police frequently. Long story short I got chewed out because I was speeding (got a ticket for 5mph over went to court and got it dropped) and because my buddy passed him doing 160+ mph and I didn't give up a name.

Been pulled over a few times for riding visor up, though never been ticketed since I ride with glasses on under the visor.

I got pulled out of a pack of cars coming home from pennstate in my contour. A week previous a group of us met up with a college friend of mine who was going through chemo and we all shaved our heads... to the skin, not just short. So i'm rolling with all the windows down, bald with a bandanna on doing 73 in a 55... that had just changed from 55. Cop pulled up next to me lights on and motioned for me to get over, car in front and behind me just kept going. Got a no-points ticket.

I got a warning for a 65 in a 35 because I told the cop I was late for a test (Was finals week at psu). Funny thing is he asked me 'do you know how fast you were going?' and I said "Pretty fast, depends on where you clocked me at" which was true. He caught me while I was slowing down.
 
Guy I know got pulled over riding shotgun in a buddies R34, screaming down the highway... Cop walks up to the presumed "driver's" side of the car and taps on the glass. The window rolls down, revealing a grinning face in the passenger seat waiting patiently with his hands on an invisible steering wheel.

"What seems to be the problem officer? I wan't going to fast, was I?"

"Uhhhhhh..........."

"Yeah, you might want to walk over to the other side..."
 
i had this old beater of a car for my first car and the keys would pull out of the ignition after the car started. the cop that pulled me over asked me what the hell the deal was with the keys and asked me if i had stolen the car. then, he asked me if i was wanted at all. i told him that i wasn't wanted but he had arrested me a couple of weeks ago (he had pulled me over, but he didn't arrest me). i asked him why he pulled me over and he had completely forgotten already. he let me go after i told him i was joking and he searched the car, of course (i was 17, i got searched every time i got pulled over.)
 
Not my story, but from a letter to Car and Driver years ago:

"I had been hauling ass down the freeway because I was late for class, and this was finals week. As was my habit, I had taken a stick of Juicy Fruit gum out, and was chewing it to both relax and concentrate on my driving. Unfortuantely, I failed to notice a HP pacing me from behind. The HP pulled me over, and I knew it was going to be bad because I really was flying. I could see him in my mirrors as he exited his car, and he looked pissed. He stomped up to my window, and after I put the window down, I could see from his facial expression he was quite flustered.

"Who the Hell do you think you are?" he asked me. For some unknown reason, I reached in my shirt pocket and took out the silver Juicy Fruit wrapper, and said "Perhaps this silver bullet will identify me." The HP looked at the wrapper, looked at me, looked back at the wrapper, and... burst out laughing. I didn't get the ticket."
 
When I first got my MZ3, I chirped the tires shifting into second in front of a cop sitting in the turn lane.

He turned around and chased me down... lol

He asked me wtf was I thinking. I said that I just bought the car and not use to the clutch. He rolled his eyes but only gave me a warning...
 
I got pulled over for doing 64 in a 55. I was at the back of a pack of about 6 cars.

'I was just going with traffic officer, it's dark and there are deer out here; I was just trying to stay safe.'

"The deer aren't a problem on this road, the black bears are though"

'Oh even better... well can you give me the ticket before you get attacked and I have to fill out paper work?'

**I didn't get the ticket.
 
Last edited:
well i was 17 still in high school, and for my first car had a cadillac. my father and i had been building a mitsubishi mighty max show truck since i was 14. well the day came for me to finally take it to a show down in west palm beach. a group of buddies and myself were traveling on i-95 at about 75-80mph, and get passed by a bunch of girls in a civic (go figure). well my friend who had a supercharged thunderbird, halled ass to catch up and like a retard, i follow and before you know it we're all racing...well guess who's in the air watching us.....the good ol highway patrool helicopter. we come up to a bridge a mile or so down the road and get personall escourted to the side of the highway.

at this time i was scared out of my mind b/c i knew my dad was never going to let me drive the truck ever again. a boot ass patrolman comes up to my window and orders me to get out of the truck. afer bitching at me about how fast i was going and i could of been killed, he runs my plates. comes back up,

officer:"why does this come back as a cadillac plate? is this a stolen vehicle?"
me: no sir, that is my old car, i just transfored the plate.
officer: well thats illegal, i have to take you to jail.

i had no idea that that was illegal, i swear, nor did my dad. i told the cop and ...

officer: stand here with your hands on the hood and dont move.

he comes back with a giant book of highway safty and florida state rules for vehicles. he stands there and flips through this book for a good 20 minutes trying to find the part about transfering plates, finally does and makes me read it out loud so he can hear it, right there on the side of the road.

he said since i didnt know that, he had to call my parents to come pick up the vehicle. i told him they were on the west coast on vacation and wouldnt be back untill next week(because my dad would off killed me) he said i had to get off at the next exit and go straight home and park the truck. i agreed and he let me go......with 3 tickets. speeding(94 in a 70) false registration, and a seat belt for myself and my passanger.
needless to say i didnt go home, i went straight to the show and ended up winning first place, drove home and showed my dad the big ass trophy and then told him the whole story. he was pissed to say the least but happy i told him the truth. in the end i payed over $600 in fines, but it was well worth it. my dad ended up giving me the truck, which i still have and drive, we won first place, all because we chased some girls in a civic.
 
Where to start. I get pulled over once each year. I go to traffic school as part of my Cont Ed.

Here are my non-ticketed offenses.
Doing 70 in the 55.
Cop: Where are you going in such a hurry?
Me: We are goin to the bowling alley.
Cop: Are you in a tournament?
Me: No just drinkling and playing pool.
Cop: You had to speed to go play pool??? Yelling of course.
Me: Yes, they already bought the picher of beer and I don't like warm beer.
Cop: Are you getting smart with me?
Passenger: We were smart before you go here.
Me: Sorry sir, but you asked and I was just trying to tell you the truth. Do you want me to lie? Can we start over? We are going to the hospital, his girlfriend is in labor.
Cop: You guys are morons and are wasting my time

No ticket.

Another one
Cop: I pulled you over for speeding on an exit ramp.
Me: I didn't see a speed posted, how fast should I have been going?
Cop: You should exit the expressway and slow down before you get to the light.
Me: I understand how to stop at a red light, what is the posted speed on an exit.
Cop: I don't know but you were speeding.
Me: If you don't know how can you expect me to know?
Cop: You were driving 10 over on the exit.
Me: You just said that you don't know the posted speed on the exit so how was I doing 10 over a speed that you don't know?
Cop: Stop acting like an idiot, you know what I meant.
Me: I am more confused now than I was when you got here. Am I being ticketed?
Cop: No, but slow down.

No ticket. I wanted to get the last word and say "Slow down to the not posted speed limit" but I figured that was pushing it.
 
He is also the kind that walks up to the cops outside of the club and asks if he can get a ride to his car because he is too drunk to walk. We aren't much better. My wife and friend got a ride to the car from troopers on horseback at the fair one year.
 
Me: Yes, sir! What seems to be the problem?
Officer: You were doing 75 mph in 60 mph zone. Was there a reason for that?
Me: I thought you wanted to race?
Officer: No, why would I want to do that?
Me: I don't know. But since I won, you know that means that I don't get a ticket, right?
Officer: We'll see about that!

I got off with a warning. I said everything with humor in my voice, as I could tell he wasn't going to be rude. When he gave me the warning, he laughed and said not to do that again as another officer might not be so forgiving.
 
i had a friend that did the DD....designated drunk......

so a guy walked out of the bar first stumbling, dropping his keys, swearing, acting like an idiot right in front of all the cops. he went to his car finally got it opened and right as soon as the key hit the ignition all the cops walked over.
cop: are you ok in there.
guy: oh i'm perfect officer, i just wanted to distract you guys for a min.

he was completely sober.....he did it so his friends could get outta the bar and get to their cars
 
Please log in or register to reply here.

New Posts and Comments

M
Not detecting speed sign
Replies
2
Views
122
moonj
M
sm1ke
    • Wow
    • Sad
2016~2023 CX-9 Rear diff failure at 113k kms (70k mi)
2
Replies
31
Views
5K
DustyB
D
Antoine
  • Sticky
What have you done to your Miata today?
493 494 495
Replies
10K
Views
1M
CTt3P5
CTt3P5
S
  • Question Question
Miss or random miss fire
Replies
3
Views
155
madar
M
W
    • Wow
Electronic parking brake issue
Replies
1
Views
191
rovi
R
J
Chrome wheels
Replies
0
Views
57
jack z
J
View more…

New Threads and Articles

Back