just to come full circle... I ended up replacing both rear shocks, and sure enough, the right rear (where i thought the problem was) was completely blown... no oil, damping, or anything from that one... i replaced both since the cost wasn't much, and the other couldn't have had much life left anyway... wanted to use the KYB shocks that everyone seems to have that run 60-80 each, but NAPA was out, and i didn't want to wait... got the OESpectrum model for $40 each.... they look exactly like the stock unit other than the branding on the outside... hopefully that's not an indicator that they'll blow so quickly as well, but the rear end is significantly more planted, and the problems all went away...
Probably going to do the front in the next year just to be preventative... and to not exacerbate any tire wear issues.... btw, the bridgestone ecopia ep422 tires i replaced with are fantastic for our usage... not quite as sporty as the stock tire, but waaaaaaaaayyyyy quieter, smoother riding and "plush" for lack of a better word... though i have dedicated blizzaks for the snow, so i don't worry about that... i also dont care that its a go kart handling wise, as we've always got the kids in the back... it is sporty and competent enough, but you can't compare a grand touring tire to a high performance all season in terms of handling...
thanks for the input everyone!