Big G/f Trouble Need Some Help Lol!
- Thread starter Maz2001MP
- Start date
I do believe your feelings are very deep and sincere for this woman. However, this woman has a problem with low self-esteem. If she doesn't love herself, then it's impossible for her to love anyone else. Usually, women with low self-esteem seek out those who treat them badly (consciously or subconsciously) and are actually put off by those who treat them with much respect. Women with low self-esteem feel that men who treat them with respect are somehow weird themselves because how could a man possibly love a woman who is "defective."
My advice would be to keep in contact with her, but don't be the one always initiating contact. Let her make the effort to talk to you or spend time with you. Trust me, she will appreciate and respect you more. That is, if she does reach out to you. If you are always at her beck and call, she will take you for granted.
Women with low self-esteem lead somewhat self-destructive lives and can destroy your emotional health and your life literally in the process. Every relationship she has had has failed miserably, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She is her own worst enemy.
If you want to wait, then do what feels right for you. But, do take a good hard look around. Don't feel guilty for finding someone else who is interesting to you. She obviously didn't put much thought or give much consideration as to how you felt or your feelings regarding her trip to see her ex.
Sometimes, women like that can change and sometimes they don't because they don't recognize they even have a problem. What you can control is your actions and reactions towards her. Put yourself first always.
I've dated many women with low self-esteem unknowingly and am still single. Reach your own conclusions... For whatever reason, I attract them in droves. Some of them were some very lovely women and I had some great times, but they couldn't or wouldn't deal with the major issues in their lives. I would have gladly supported some of them through any difficulties.
I'll never think badly of those women, but they obviously weren't the "one" for me. It took a little time to find that out though. Well, excuse the long-windedness and hope this helps. Good luck!
My advice would be to keep in contact with her, but don't be the one always initiating contact. Let her make the effort to talk to you or spend time with you. Trust me, she will appreciate and respect you more. That is, if she does reach out to you. If you are always at her beck and call, she will take you for granted.
Women with low self-esteem lead somewhat self-destructive lives and can destroy your emotional health and your life literally in the process. Every relationship she has had has failed miserably, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She is her own worst enemy.
If you want to wait, then do what feels right for you. But, do take a good hard look around. Don't feel guilty for finding someone else who is interesting to you. She obviously didn't put much thought or give much consideration as to how you felt or your feelings regarding her trip to see her ex.
Sometimes, women like that can change and sometimes they don't because they don't recognize they even have a problem. What you can control is your actions and reactions towards her. Put yourself first always.
I've dated many women with low self-esteem unknowingly and am still single. Reach your own conclusions... For whatever reason, I attract them in droves. Some of them were some very lovely women and I had some great times, but they couldn't or wouldn't deal with the major issues in their lives. I would have gladly supported some of them through any difficulties.
I'll never think badly of those women, but they obviously weren't the "one" for me. It took a little time to find that out though. Well, excuse the long-windedness and hope this helps. Good luck!
You have to think of yourself as well and what you want out of a relationship. Secondly, you are not helping her by just being there like this, she has to learn the hard way that she cant take a person for a ride and leave them on the side all the time. This relationship is eventually going to end up being no where anyways, save yourself the emotional pain and break it up now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be down the line.
jester1x said:
you my friend have hit it right on the head for the most part... i found out that her ex had wound up cheating on her after everything that happened.. she does say she is very sorry for what she did 2 me and cant take it back but at the same time i find out she is "pushing me away" because her trust in people has gone down the drain, its hard 2 explain but she seems pretty messed up over it.. she doesnt want 2 be hurt again.. i have not called her and she has texted me on her cell and she has called me also.. she makes it a point 2 me that she cares but once she hangs out with me she seems distant and cold sometimes.. i think i understand what is goin on now.. like u said its my decision if i wanna stick around or not.. i think i will for now.. i love her 2 death.. at the same time i force myself 2 limit my feelings towards her like u say because i dont want her 2 take things for granted.. i hope she comes back to reality someday if not oh well (screwy) .. i know that i tried my best and in the end it might be her loss and im sure shell realize it lol.. hopefully its not 2 late for her though
Let me de-code this for all the boys:
Lara can vouch..... it's girl speak for "I'm not interested anymore, but I don't want to initiate the breaking up, so why don't you do as I say and find someone else. Then, when you do, I can freak out and cause a mass amount of DRAMA, we can get back together for a little bit, and then have a HUGE breakup....caused by YOU of course. This is because you should have been there for me and instead you found someone else. I realize I told you too, but it was just a test."
Lara can vouch..... it's girl speak for "I'm not interested anymore, but I don't want to initiate the breaking up, so why don't you do as I say and find someone else. Then, when you do, I can freak out and cause a mass amount of DRAMA, we can get back together for a little bit, and then have a HUGE breakup....caused by YOU of course. This is because you should have been there for me and instead you found someone else. I realize I told you too, but it was just a test."
yourfather_luke
Member
dude. i wish someone would've told me this when i was your age-
**** her. leave and find someone else. scratch that. find multiple someone elses.
i married my first wife (******* b****) when i was 21. incredibly long story that i don't want to get into. stayed with that s*** til i was 28 then ran like a motherfucker (well, again it's a long story). now i'm very happily married with a beautiful little daughter and a son on the way. life is good now. life is very funny at the same time. don't get so hung up on a little, b****y, immature **** like her.
go play. you're just 21 and will regret it later if you don't. trust me on this one
**** her. leave and find someone else. scratch that. find multiple someone elses.
i married my first wife (******* b****) when i was 21. incredibly long story that i don't want to get into. stayed with that s*** til i was 28 then ran like a motherfucker (well, again it's a long story). now i'm very happily married with a beautiful little daughter and a son on the way. life is good now. life is very funny at the same time. don't get so hung up on a little, b****y, immature **** like her.
go play. you're just 21 and will regret it later if you don't. trust me on this one
crispixoo7
Member
- :
- 95 Protege 5spd. and 92 Miata 5spd
yourfather_luke said:dude. i wish someone would've told me this when i was your age-
**** her. leave and find someone else. scratch that. find multiple someone elses.
i married my first wife (******* b****) when i was 21. incredibly long story that i don't want to get into. stayed with that s*** til i was 28 then ran like a motherfucker (well, again it's a long story). now i'm very happily married with a beautiful little daughter and a son on the way. life is good now. life is very funny at the same time. don't get so hung up on a little, b****y, immature **** like her.
go play. you're just 21 and will regret it later if you don't. trust me on this one
(werd) (bow)
CN STARZ said:
(yes) (2thumbs) EXACTLY.
Guys need a manual, road map or instructions for women I swear. It's so obvious to us, but I guess some guys dont get this. I love the "when you're older you'll understand" part that everyone talks about it. It's so true.
One day kid you'll look back on this and say... DAMNIT, I HATE THAT I WASTED MY TIME ON THAT *&%#! And I know it's hard because you think you REALLY REALLY love her. But if you knew now, what you'll know later (backwards... I know... lol) you'd be thanking us. But it's your decision to make my friend. One thing I will tell you FOR SURE... you WILL get hurt... more than you are now... you ARE wasting your time.... and you WILL eventually find someone else. It takes time, be patient and take the first step. Walk away. If it's meant to be, then it would've been already.
TiGrayMsp716
Member
- :
- 03.5 Titanium MSP
Run away, don't talk to her. Nothing positive will come out of this for you. Tell you friend that his sister is nuts, and that it was messed up that he let you get involve with her even though he knew she has issues. (If he warned you he'll probably tell you I told you so)
CommieSpeed
Member
- :
- 2003.5 Titanium-Gray Mazdaspeed Protege
*sigh* girls can be so irritating. It's brief moments like this when I can appriciate being single. Whenever I have been single for awhile and get to that, "I need a girlfriend" point...it doesn't take long after spending a few weeks seeing a girl to realize.."oh yeah, I forgot...girls do annoying s*** like this too!" And then you want to be single again!!! I would listen to what the ladies are posting...they seem to know what's up with your girl's diabolical scheme. Although, many times I have followed the advice of female friends and been lead straight to hell...so be wary...they may be working together to destroy us so that one day they can seize power and rule the world with an iron fist.
ZeroAccess
Member
if he hasn't done it yet unfortunately he won't...
I say just have fun while you can, try not to beat yourself up over this relationship and let it continue on the course it is.
I say just have fun while you can, try not to beat yourself up over this relationship and let it continue on the course it is.
