You don't have to train your car to do anything. The computer will do it for you. I have used lower octane gas, and could not see any detonation, of course, that doesn't mean it might not occur under the right circumstances. I tried it once and the savings in money were not worth potential damage. The compter will know what octane you are running and it will adjust timing accordingly. If you do this, you could be voiding your warranty, though. Depends on how long the computer sotres that type of information.
As far as shutting off the motor, unless it's a hella long light, you will actually use moar fuel to start it than you save by shutting it off. Instead, coast down more to a stop. If you travel the same roads all the time, you have a feeling of when the lights turn and how fast you have to go to catch the next one. Instead, travel at a steady resonable rate and coast down as far as you feel comfortable (and traffic will allow) to the red light.
When you are on the freeway, use cruise control, but if there is a prolonged uphill section, turn the cruise off and input only enought gas to lose a few mph until the top of the hill, then input more gas to regain your speed. Coasting helps because the computer knows when there is a sufficient lack of load, it can shut off fuel to your engine and just let it spin with the transmission.
As far as fat ppl are concerned, you can take extra weight out of your car. If you have a big sub box in the back, you are probably losing a few mpg due to the extra weight.
Finally, for the intake, I did see a slight gain in mpg when I installed my MS CAI. Any gains you get from this mod (whatever brand or type you use) is from a leaning of the a/f mixture from a larger than stock diameter at the maf sensor.
Did you do the trip meter hack? That can help a little, even though it's calculations are a little off.