3 Ducks

[Kauai Dave]

So there were these three ducks standing trial for a crime they committed.
The judge calls in the first duck,
Judge: State you name for the record
Duck1:Quack
Judge:And what was your crime?
Duck1: Blowing bubbles in the pond
The judge sentences him to 6 months
Next duck comes up
Judge:State your name for the record
Duck2: Quack Quack
Judge: and what was your crime?
Duck2: Blowing bubbles in the pond
Judge sentences him to 6 months
Last duck comes up
Judge:State your name for the record, no wait let me guess you name is Quack,Quack,Quack
Duck3: No my name is Bubbles.


Hahahaha, thanks you very not funny! heard it on the radio and thought i'd share. (yupnope)

 

[JProtege]

haha!

i got a lame joke too . . .

A batch of muffins are baking in the oven when one of the muffins says to another, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin replied, "AAAHHH!! A Talking muffin!"

boodomchi!

Anyway, shouldn't this be in humor? or maybe not, cause it's not humorous?

 

[garretts77]

haha!

i got a lame joke too . . .

A batch of muffins are baking in the oven when one of the muffins says to another, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin replied, "AAAHHH!! A Talking muffin!"

boodomchi!

Anyway, shouldn't this be in humor? or maybe not, cause it's not humorous?

^^ Hahahaha....

 

[Kauai Dave]

yup! that's right! hehe =)

 

[hi-perf]

The local pub was so sure that its landlord was the strongest man around that it offered a standing 1,000 bet that no one could beat him.

The challenge was that the landlord would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.

Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters and all had failed.

Then one day this frail little fella with heavy rimmed spectacles came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge. After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing.

Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar.

Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a lumberjack, weightlifter, what?"

"No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS."

 

[Leppy]

A termite walks into a bar and ask, "Excuse me, is the bar tender here?"

 

[TXMazdaSpeeder]

Man is lost in a forest, he comes upon a little shack and stops to ask if he may borrow there facilities. A old chinese man answer the door and offers the man a place to stay for the night, the man thanks the old man for ebing so genrous and decides to saty the night. The old mans but there is a catch, u may not touch my daughter or you will recieve the 3 worst chinese tortures known to man. Seeing how old the man was well old, he figured his daughter wouldnt be any more thna a generation younger and not mcuh to look at so he didnt see a difficulty. That night they sat down to eat dinner and the daughter came downstairs and was the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. After everyone went to sleep the man snuck into the daughters room, leaving a few hours later with a very content look on his face and retired to his bed. The next morning he awoke to a large rock laying on his chest with a note entitled "acient chinese torture #1." the man laughed at the attempt to torture him and threw the stone out the window. As the rock fell he noticed a rope tied to it that said "acient chinese torture#2: rock tied to right testicle, the man decided a few broken bones were better than castration so he jumped out the window after the rock, on the way down he noticed another note that said "chinese torture #3: left testicle tied to bed post."

 

[TXMazdaSpeeder]

A man goes to france on a business trip and the night before his big meeting he meets a woman at a bar and they proceed to go back to his hotel room. During intercourse she continues to scream "tru faux", assuming this is some type of pleasure saying in french he continues. The next day he is playing golf with his business associates and hits the best drive of his life, in excitement he proceeds to yell "tru faux", his associates stare at him and say "what do you mean wrong hole?"

 

[laracroft]

silly. lol Those are funny.

 

[protegemp52000]

Prolly an oldie, but...

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?

Drizzle Fo'Shizzle

(hand)

Keep 'em coming guys, I have set the bar real low....

 

[Wiggles422]

A blind guy sits down at the bar and proceeds to tell the bartender a blonde joke. Before the guy could finish the joke the bartender says, "Before you keep going I just want to let you know that I'm blond, and I'm 5'11" and a third degree blackbelt. The blond lady on your right is even larger than I am and she just got out of prison for 1st degree murder. Not only that, but the blonde lady on your left is bigger than anyone in here and she's an olympic gold metal winner in weightlifting. Now, do you still want to tell the blonde joke?"
The guy says, "No, I don't want to explain it three times."

 

[2003.5msp]

what do you tell a houswife with two black eyes? .........nothing you already told her twice!!!!

 

[JProtege]

A blind guy sits down at the bar and proceeds to tell the bartender a blonde joke. Before the guy could finish the joke the bartender says, "Before you keep going I just want to let you know that I'm blond, and I'm 5'11" and a third degree blackbelt. The blond lady on your right is even larger than I am and she just got out of prison for 1st degree murder. Not only that, but the blonde lady on your left is bigger than anyone in here and she's an olympic gold metal winner in weightlifting. Now, do you still want to tell the blonde joke?"
The guy says, "No, I don't want to explain it three times."

hahahahahahah . . . OWNED.

 

[KpaBap]

Prolly an oldie, but...

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?

Drizzle Fo'Shizzle

(hand)

Keep 'em coming guys, I have set the bar real low....

look to the left under my name hahah i never though someone would know this lol i've had it as my title since forever

 

[EVADE]

ok heres one .why do lesbians not like to cook?because they love to EAT OUT!