favorite saturday night live lines

[sgryzko]

Yeah that Bill Brasky stuff is funny...
Especially "His first name is Bill! ....... I'm drunk."
Also, anything by Will Ferrel is funny.
Weekend update is good too.

 

[Natey]

Why to be me??? WHY TO BE MANGO??!!

 

[Moeed]

"You rue the day you cross me trabeck." Sean Connery.
"not a fan of the ladies are ya trabeck."
I heart boobs.

Celebrity Jeopardy is one of the best skits.

 

[sgryzko]

Thats great when Connery is in the final round and he draws a picture of Trebek doing a horse.

 

[MarkSpark]

Jim Carrey "Ride The Snake"

Will Farrell: Jimmy Tango, I've been wearing your vibrating heat beads and taking your pills and after three days of riding your snake I've lost 195lbs. I've also realized that I AM THE DEVIL!!! I WILL RETURN AND THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS!!!

Jim Carrey: Hey there "Sliver". SCAN ME!! (clicking tongue)

(will farrells head starts pouring blood)

Jim Carrey : Dont mess the meastro!!

I'm taking those speed pills of yours, and I'm wearing the vibrating heat beads, and by "Riding your Snake", not only have I lost 65 pounds in four days, but guess what? I found out I'm the Devil! And I will wash over the Earth, and the seas will run red with all the blood of all its sinners! I am reborn! And I've got YOU to thank, Jimmy Tango!

 

[sttl013]

Thats great when Connery is in the final round and he draws a picture of Trebek doing a horse.

Hell yeah, and:

Connery: "I'll take The Rapists for $200"
Trebek: "Uh, that's Therapists"

 

[Natey]

(lol) a classic moment in TV history, right there. (rofl)

 

[chino]

"He's Microscopic Elvis!"

The skit with Tarantino as the train conducter on the hobby show where all he talked about was beating hobos. That whole episode was funny actually.

"yeah I jammed Uma, I jammed every chick on that set!"


How about best musical performances? I was pretty dissapointed in the SNL DVD with the musical performances. Mot on there were pretty lame. My favorite by far is Faith No More doing Epic.

 

[Roywhitep5]

i loved that one where ray romano was supposed to be a ww2 soldier and he kept talking about stuff he wanted to do when he got back

ray: when i get back home, im going to enter a hot dog eating contest and eat like 100 hot dogs

other guys: that sounds real nice man

ray: then im going to buy a beautiful house with a white picket fence

other guys: thats my dream too

ray: them im going to buy really tight pants and go cruising for little boys

other guys:............. what the hell???

ray: then im going to kidnap a bunch of homeless people and mess with their heads and force them to make porno movies

other guys: what the hell is wrong with you!!!! thats sick!!

ray: what??? isnt that what we're fighting for!! to be able to have hobo sex slaves???

 

[lasermp5]

ray: what??? isnt that what we're fighting for!! to be able to have hobo sex slaves???

^^^ (rofl)(rofl2)(rofl)

 

[Roywhitep5]

astronaut jones

 

[girth]

WTH is with all of these turd quotes (except for Mark Sparks)? This whole thread should be filled with Farley classics .... like the 1 skit where he sat next to a girl he wanted to impress at a zoo's whale water show, and every time "Mandy the jumping whale" would jump Farley would get completely soaked with the splash from the whale....
......
....Eventually after the zillionth time being soaked he just yelled out "THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN VINIGAR AND WATER, BECAUSE I PRETTY MUCH GOT DOUCHED!!!"

 

[girth]

Another classic is when Farley was in school and they had to all write a poems. Farley got called up to the front of the class because the teacher thought his poem was one of the best .... ....... so he goes up there and reads it:

"She was a fast machine....
She kept her motor clean....
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen...
.....
etc etc just as the song goes!

Hahahah.

 

[girth]

Damn another one came to mind .--

I remember 1 of the "Bill Shwarski's SuperFans" skits where Farley started to choke, so his buddy next to him gets up and gives him the heimlich manuever - and what Farley ends up coughing up is 1 fully unchewed pork chop! LOL!

Oh, and the skit where Farley goes ice skating with his make believe family and he ends up falling through the ice - then yells at his brother (David Spade) "PULL ME OUT OF THIS ICY HELL, YOU LITTLE PILLOW-BITER!"

 

[PatrickP5]

"I'll play your game, you rogue!"

(Insert any Sean Connery topic selection or Final Jeopardy answer/wager here)

I'm also a huge fan of Jingleheimer Junction.


Patrick

 

[jonnydoe48]

hey norm. if you were a hotdog, and you were hungry, would you eat yourself?

i know i would!

 

[Roywhitep5]

lol harry carey

 

[MarkSpark]

Farley: What do you think, Pops? Is that Will Shakespeare over there?

Father: Well actually, Matt. We've encouraged his writing.

Farley: Dad, I wish you would shut your damn YAPPER!

 

[Roywhitep5]

farley attacking the space ship and his pants start falling off. thats the stuff of legends

 

[garretts77]

Galactic prophylactic... It can stop bullets!

Bass master 3000... That's great bass.

Quien es mas macho? Fernando Lamas, o Ricardo Montalban?

Hachie Ju Hachie...? I don't speak Japanese... For the LOVE OF GOD...