Too funny:
<TABLE class=mainpage style="HEIGHT: 2796px" width=480 border=2><TBODY><TR><TD class=mainpage style="WIDTH: 90px" align=middle>
Acronym & Expansion</TD><TD class=mainpage style="WIDTH: 260px" align=middle>
Meaning</TD><TD class=mainpage style="WIDTH: 140px" align=middle>
Use</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
ASAP
Another Squid, Another Pirate </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Some things, items, or activities are naturally associated with each other. Pirates and the humble squid are a good example, for every pirate there is a squid that wants him dead.
The eternal struggle between pirates and squid offers a different definition, where ASAP refers to the futility of struggle. Neither party can win yet they still fight on. Truly a sad tale. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>
X: Rum tastes horrible, and I hate wearing this eye-patch.
Y: Well what can I say, ASAP…. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
BYMD
Blow Yer Man Down </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Charge!</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Those barnacle eaters just stole our gold!
Y: BYMD</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
CBAP
Cabin Boy Arse Pirate </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Cabin Boys are essential members of the crew, keeping the captain’s cabin and table in fine order. Being young lads they enjoy a low status. Some cruel wits make aspersions that their duties also include sexual servicing. This raises all sorts of questions around the idea of youth workers being exploited, and can such youth actually truly consent to sexual relations?</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: You suck
Y:
LOB, U = CBAP </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
CMCB
Cry more, cabin boy </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Keep whining, you loser.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: I can’t believe I lost again!
Y: CMCB </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
EMPL
Eat My Peg Leg </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>I do not care for you, or your opinion. To illustrate this point, and to emphasis how deeply I care about this point of view I suggest you do something impossible or irrational like eating my wooden leg.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: You need to be more caring about my opinion.
Y: EMPL, Sucker. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
FTT
For the Treasure </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>My actions are governed by the desire for treasure.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Pirates Kick Ass! Let's go and get these scurvy dogs! FTT!</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
GWMD
Guns, Women, Muskets & Dubloons </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Why be a pirate? GWMD, that’s why. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: That Snoop Dogg, he loves his Gin ‘n’ Juice. Me, I’m here for the GWMD.</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
IRBM
I’d Rather be Marooned </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Sometimes pirates get awkward propositions, or are asked to do dignity-lowering activities. In such a situation one can express the desire that they would rather be marooned than do what is asked of them. This can also be used as an insult.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Sooo…Me and some buddies are going to scrape barnacles with our tongues. Interested?
Y: IRBM </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
IRKAW
I’d Rather Kiss a Weevil </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>I would rather do something incredibly disgusting than do what you request.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Hey buddy, can you help me out for 5 minutes? I need to scrape some barnacles
Y: IRKAW </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
IRRAB
I’d rather read a book </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Most pirates hate reading, despite such famous examples as Edward Teach. To pretend to prefer reading than something else is a big insult.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Want to hangout on the poopdeck? We could trade stories over rum?
Y: Haha, IRRAB </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
KH’d
Keel Hauled </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>You were just taught a lesson by someone bigger, stronger or better.
OR
You got schooled, sucker
OR
You just did something incredibly stupid. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Woo hoo! Just got a date with that girl in the red dress.
Y: Dude, that’s your sister.
Z: KH’d!
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
KOTT
Kittens or the Treasure? </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Even pirates have unsolvable dilemmas, and sometimes it's just better to acknowledge this and move on. Pirates, like most people, enjoy the company of kittens. They also like treasure. Deciding between the two is very hard, and best put off.
KOTT will be used to indicate that such a dilemma has formed. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Tonight is the Big Rum–Off, but I promised the Captain last week that I’d help polish his peg-leg.
Y: KOTT eh? </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
L2HD
Learn to Horndance </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>You have no skill in a particular activity. You need to learn some skills at this activity before you attempt said activity in a public place.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Oops, I’ve left my cabin with no pants again.
Y: L2HD, fool. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
LOB
Lots of Blargh </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Expressing amusement online is difficult at the best of times, typing out “hehe” or “giggle” can make one feel like a schoolgirl. Pirates cannot afford such an assault on their dignity (unless they happen to be schoolgirls that are pirates). To Blargh is to laugh, so to laugh hard or long just add “lots of”. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: I’ve just sold your parrot to a Korean takeaway
Y. You
POE grubbing bastard!
Z: LOB! </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
LTC
Load the Cannon! </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Loading the cannon was traditionally done before battle started. In this sense it means getting ready for action.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Seadogs, let's LTC!
Or
X: I’m so LTC’d that it would make you cry big fat salty tears, you
CBAP.
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
POE
Pieces of Eight </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>A Piece of Eight is a term describing a currency used in Spain for several hundred years. POE is a slang term for money. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Its all about the POE
Y: True brother, true! </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
PT
Privateer </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>A privateer is a person who claims to be a pirate, but in fact is an agent of the Man. Historically states would contract to private citizens the right to raid the shipping of national enemies. This is piratical behaviour, under control of the state. Narks! </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Hey, what's happening? Want to help me pirate some loot?
Y: Bugger off, you fffing PT! </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
Rme3>te
Argh me hearties! </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>An inspirational rallying phrase, usually used in social situations.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Oh no, my musket is poked, I’ve no rum, and I think I might just have a good cry
Y: Rme3>e
X: I feel 110% better now, thank you. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
STD
Swab the Deck </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Swabbing the deck is an essential part of running a hygienic ship. However it is a mindless task that has low status. Important people do not swab decks. If you are swabbing the deck, you must be a chump, or the new boy. Alternately you may have a Sexually Transmitted Disease. Neither of these definitions is particularly favourable. </TD><TD align=left>X: Let's go kick some ass!
Y: Dude, go STD with yourself </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
WTP
Walk the Plank </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>To walk the plank means to totally mess up. Historically walking the plank was a death sentence. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: LOB, I just holed the keel, my bad.
Y: Man, you totally WTP’d on this one. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
WWLJSPD?
What would Long John Silver’s Parrot do? </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>When somebody poses a tough question or dilemma, possibly ethical, this expression serves to make the involved parties make the best choice. Long John Silver being one of the Five Pirates of Yore, and his Parrot being the true brains of the operation. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Y: Do we take the loot, the women, or the food?
X: WWLJSPD? </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
YH = SP
Or
YHAMSP
Your Hands = Salted Pork
Or
Your Hands Are Made of Salted Pork </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>A person with hands made of salted pork would be incredibly clumsy, and therefore kind of useless in a hand-based human society.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Y: Oops, dropped my musket again, I’m such a dunce!
X: Gods! YH = SP! </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
YHHABOR
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Historically this was a line in a famous pirate song. Now it is a line of nonsense that is used as filler when someone said something that you do not know how to respond to, or are not smart enough to think of something funny to respond with.</TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Ever played cricket on a rowboat? I have, and I hit a six!
Y: Um, YHHABOR? </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
YMD
Ye Mutinious Dog </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>Mutiny means a rebellion against the legitmate authority. YMD is said when one’s authority has been challenged, whether such authority is legitimate or not. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: YMD!!
Y: What?
X: If you don’t give me my banana back I’ll kill you.
Y: Fine, kill me. It was worth it, if just to see you use two exclamation marks. </TD></TR><TR><TD class=mainpage align=left>
YWYWACB
You wish you were a cabin boy </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>This is a negative term that implies that you are so bad at what you do that all you can aspire to be is what others would deem the lowest of the low. Because of your incredible crapness you, of course, would see this as a promotion. </TD><TD class=mainpage align=left>X: Man I’m great at being a pirate, in every way possible.
Y: Pfft, YWYWACB, Fool. </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>