What do I do???? Ex GF delima

[JcsMP3]

I talked to a casual friend of mine today. started talking about our mp3's and such. Then he leisurely mentions that he is seeing my ex gf. The ex gf and I didn't end our relationship on a good note but she does hang around with the local car club that I am a part of. The ex gf and I are by no mean friends and don't think too highly of eachother. I don't have patience nor time to try and reason with such a person... but anyways...

He asked me if I had anythign to say to him regarding her.... and I bit my tongue hard... very very hard.... not to say anything.... and I didn't... all I said was to keep his eyes opened....

This is a really decent and nice guy, not only for letting me know of this before I got wind of it from the rumor mill but from previous conversations with him. We have met a few times and he is a cool guy.... Now here is my delima...

Do I wait till something happens and try and talk him out of seeing her....

DO I tell him now what happened and try and scare him away from her

OR do I keep my mouth shut and wait for him to tell me " You should of TOLD me she was like that"


I just don't want this to turn ugly... I dunno what to do...

Jc

 

[fastdrvr23]

If anything happens, it is likely to be bad since it is dealing with your EX gf.

Just stay away from her/anything concerning her and move on. Good luck!

The only way he can learn she is screwed up, is to experience it himself... You're a good guy for what you are wanting to do, but it is better left alone in my opinion.

 

[ZoomZoomH]

I agree, keep your mouth shut and see what happens from the sideline, if you want to hang around and see.

like fastdrv said, things like this cannot be told to, it must be experienced by the parties involved.

you may hate her, but maybe they're the perfect match?

 

[Sir Nuke]

what the other guys have said is true....he KNOWS you two WERE involved...and you give him credit for telling you...and you should....that was a good move on his part...being your friend and all....

but in MY opinion.....you need to TOTALLY avoid the entire situation....do not say ANYTHING...for if you say a single solitary word AGAINST HER....and surely you would....if not, you would still be together.....anyway.....it would surely get back to her....and it would NOT be good...and you could stand to lose your firend too.

there is an old saying...and its plays true for this situation...."IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY....SAY NOTHING".

in fact....if you are ASK by your friend....what I would recommend you tell him is..." hey, it didn't work out for us....we have different goals in life...and they just didn't match up".....and let him take it from there.

 

[BigBlue]

Haha this is so similar to a situation I was in it's scary! Have an ex-gf, she asked a casual friend from auto-x out. He called me in advance to essentially ask permission(very stand-up sorta guy) and I said yeah sure go for it.

My ex and I also ended on very bad terms, but the way I see it is that perhaps things with him and her will work out better. If things do work out, then I can be happy for them both, if things end horribly, he may say why didn't you tell me and I can feel good in knowing it wouldn't have been fair...besides then we can laugh about the situation together and I'll be able to cheer him up.

 

[JcsMP3]

that's what I thought.... I didn't say anything.... I will let it go....

Thanks guys,

Jc

 

[YellowMP5]

do you care about her? if no, then let him find out about her himself. he is the one that wants to date her now. if it doesn't work, it doesnt work.

 

[Mazdaspeedgirl]

Jc,

Going by your words it seems that you do still care a bit (maybe) but you are right to let it go. And if it works out between them, great! If not, never hold yourself accountable as he is responsible for his own actions, even if his intention may have been to see if you would warn him.

take care, you'll find the one. enjoy your zoom-zoom in the mean time!

 

[JcsMP3]

no no... I don't care about this person in any way more then a possible friendship..... I am too bitter towards the situation that she put me in to still care for her more then that. Like I do wish her the best and stuff... just not the greatest you know what I mean... weird to explain...

Jc

 

[enry]

Man. There are small things, moments of clearness in an otherwise foggy world, that somehow make it all worth living. This situation is one of them. You can get a load off your chest AND do the Right Thing(TM).
I think that if you walked to him and volunteered your honest opinion about your ex girlfriend, that would be not the Right Thing to do since it's not really any of your business.
HOWEVER... he has asked you. As such, the correct thing to do is to be honest. As for her getting mad, I personally believe that most smart people are aware of their flaws, and if she gets really pissed, that only proves she is of bad character.
So I'm not saying be an ass, I'm just saying, don't cover for one person's flaws at another person's expense.

Dr. Enry.

 

[YellowMP5]

ok, i guess i agree with enry too. if he asked you, tell him. but otherwise just keept it to yourself.

 

[BigBlue]

I'm still not sure about the complete honesty thing as being what the casual friend really wants to hear. I mean in my situation if the guy who went with my ex had asked me why we broke up, yeah I'd volunteer the info that I found her too possessive, too neurotic etc...but I wouldn't just give it to him in an ugly way that I would if say another friend who wasn't interested in her asked why we broke up.

In one case I'd be a lot more tactful and still let the guy make his own decision. In the other, I'd say something more along the lines of "dude she was totally a possessive psycho. She's very untrusting and always thinks something suspicious is going on"

But ya, I guess I'd say something if the guy asked.