this joke is in bad taste
- Thread starter I_Vtec
- Start date
boostisgood
Member
- :
- 1988 FC3S TII
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North vs South
My friend from Ashville, NC sent me this:
> The North has coffee houses,
> The South has Waffle Houses.
> -
> The North has dating services,
> The South has family reunions.
> -
> The North has double last names,
> The South has double first names.
> -
> The North has Indy car races,
> The South has stock car races.
> -
> The North has Cream of Wheat,
> The South has grits.
> -
> The North has green salads,
> The South has collard greens.
> -
> The North has lobsters,
> The South has crawfish.
> -
> The North has the rust belt,
> The South has the Bible Belt.
> -
> In the South:
> If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel
> drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to
> help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. -
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
> store....do not buy food at this store. -
> Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's
> is plural possessive.
> -
> Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
> -
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
> understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" truck or
> "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
> this way. All of them are in denial about it. -
> Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
> -
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should
> stay out of the way. Those may well be the last words he'll ever say. -
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
> store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just
> have to go there. -
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
> they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. -
> AND REMEMBER:
> If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
> accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
> oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. -
My friend from Ashville, NC sent me this:
> The North has coffee houses,
> The South has Waffle Houses.
> -
> The North has dating services,
> The South has family reunions.
> -
> The North has double last names,
> The South has double first names.
> -
> The North has Indy car races,
> The South has stock car races.
> -
> The North has Cream of Wheat,
> The South has grits.
> -
> The North has green salads,
> The South has collard greens.
> -
> The North has lobsters,
> The South has crawfish.
> -
> The North has the rust belt,
> The South has the Bible Belt.
> -
> In the South:
> If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel
> drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to
> help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. -
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
> store....do not buy food at this store. -
> Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's
> is plural possessive.
> -
> Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
> -
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
> understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" truck or
> "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
> this way. All of them are in denial about it. -
> Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
> -
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should
> stay out of the way. Those may well be the last words he'll ever say. -
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery
> store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just
> have to go there. -
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
> they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. -
> AND REMEMBER:
> If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will
> accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
> oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. -
I
indafastln
nice
FlannelBoy711
Member
- :
- 2002 Mazda Protege 5
took me a while but I got it.
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