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- 2003 Black Mica MazdaSpeed Protege
Jokes in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day 
So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"
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A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "I came upon a gang of macho pirates who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest, meanest, nastiest one. I smacked him on the head, knocked the parrot off his shoulder, ripped out his ear ring and threw it on the ground and told him, 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" The man replies, "Just a couple of minutes ago..."
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One morning the pirate noticed something floating towards the deserted island that had become his home since the ship sank six months ago.
As the object came closer, he realized that it was a large barrel. He very soon thereafter realized that hanging on to the barrel was a very scantily clad woman. In fact she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Arriving on shore the woman left the barrel and slowly and suggestively walked toward the pirate. She whispered into his ear, " I have something you want!"
The pirate broke into a dead run towards to breaking waves yelling, "Don't tell me you've got beer in that barrel!"
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Question: What kind of carrrr does a modern day pirate drive?
Answer: A ferrARRRRrrrrri!
So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"
_____________________________________________________________
A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "I came upon a gang of macho pirates who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest, meanest, nastiest one. I smacked him on the head, knocked the parrot off his shoulder, ripped out his ear ring and threw it on the ground and told him, 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" The man replies, "Just a couple of minutes ago..."
______________________________________________________________
One morning the pirate noticed something floating towards the deserted island that had become his home since the ship sank six months ago.
As the object came closer, he realized that it was a large barrel. He very soon thereafter realized that hanging on to the barrel was a very scantily clad woman. In fact she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Arriving on shore the woman left the barrel and slowly and suggestively walked toward the pirate. She whispered into his ear, " I have something you want!"
The pirate broke into a dead run towards to breaking waves yelling, "Don't tell me you've got beer in that barrel!"
_______________________________________________________________
Question: What kind of carrrr does a modern day pirate drive?
Answer: A ferrARRRRrrrrri!
