Off Topic - Rectum Stretcher????

[MX-5]

Next time I get pulled, this is going to be the conversation....


While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"


To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."


Traffic Ticket $95.00

Court Costs. $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face......... PRICELESS

 

[jersey_emt]

Off-topic or humor section???

 

[k-lea]

took me a couple of reads to get it down.

qute.

 

[Pretzellogic]

Considering the (now cliche) jokes which surround Miata ownership, does anyone else find this offtopic joke posted in the Miata section a little off when considering it's title?

edit: in before goatse

 

[anarchistchiken]

Are you reffering to the fact that all Miata drivers are, in spite of appearences, women? If so then yes, I find it odd.

 

[MX-5]

I wasn't implying anything, I don't post in any other threads on these boards, got a good joke about cops emailed to me, thought I would share. It had nothing to do with miatas or drivers of miatas, or cliches of who drives miatas, thus the OFF TOPIC being posted in front of it.