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need some wedding/best man advise
- Thread starter JCell
- Start date
I'm not one to judge people, but wtf does that mean? In control of a relationship? Wow.BTW, she is 100% in control of the relationship. which is why i wasn't totally shocked by this request.
Why don't you explain why you don't wanna be the best man but tell her you would love to be a groomsman. It's practically the same thing and I think you letting her know you would wanna do that will reassure her that you do want to be apart of the wedding.
I agree. You'd want the bride to pick her bridesmaid and groom to pick the best man. It's odd that she'd ask you that, but do you think she asked you because he really doesn't have someone to take on the job? You know you guys hate asking for directions, maybe he didn't want to ask you himself because he didn't have the nerve and no one else to do it? Just wondering.
I do think, however, that Jaime would be awesome as a flower girl... (lol2)
OhSchnapps
Member
- :
- 2001 Maza 626 ES (Black)
Ok. Here's my two cents and how i see it.
1) He doesn't care about the wedding, he cares about the sex afterward.
She cares about the wedding, and is anxious to get everything ready early so there are no mix ups later.
2) Yes, she MAY be in control of the relationship. In other words, he's whipped, he'll do anything she says because he is insecure or for whatever reason there may be.
3) He might not have someone to pick for the best man.
I think you should let HIM know how you feel IN PRIVATE, without his fiancee around to sway his response. That way, he'll give you a straight answer.
Tell him that you feel the best man is too much of a responsibility for someone who is not as close to him as others, such as his brother or a best friend.
Ask him if there is anyone he might have in mind to replace you.
Ask him who his CLOSEST friend is, and then ask him why that person can't be the best man.
If they both insist that you be the best man, then go speak to the bride IN PRIVATE next. Tell HER how you feel about the situation. Tell her that it should be the groom's decision, and (if you are comfortable enough to discuss this) add in that if she continues making decisions for him, he will begin to build resentment early on, even if he doesn't show it or says "i don't really care." Because inside I am sure he does care, and he's just letting it go to make her happy. That won't last forever. And it's bad for the relationship (speaking from experience here).
If they STILL insist, then suggest that the groom get to choose the bridesmaid out of one of his friends, WITHOUT the brides influence on his decision.
Sorry for the wall of text, this guy just sounds a lot like me. Shane02pro5 there has a strong point, and I agree with it. He seems to be laid back, and he loves her, and doesn't like conflict. He just lets things go even if they bother him inside in order to avoid an argument. She can be a very good arguer, which could exacerbate the situation, causing him to avoid more conflict. Again, speaking from experience. I'm telling you, it may even be better for them to get into a fight now, because if he holds it in, it might come out years from now.
Ex. "You won't let me go to the Mets game!? What the #$^%! You never let me do anything! You didn't even let me choose my own $%#^@ best man! I'll NEVER get to do that again!" .........you get the idea.
1) He doesn't care about the wedding, he cares about the sex afterward.
She cares about the wedding, and is anxious to get everything ready early so there are no mix ups later.
2) Yes, she MAY be in control of the relationship. In other words, he's whipped, he'll do anything she says because he is insecure or for whatever reason there may be.
3) He might not have someone to pick for the best man.
I think you should let HIM know how you feel IN PRIVATE, without his fiancee around to sway his response. That way, he'll give you a straight answer.
Tell him that you feel the best man is too much of a responsibility for someone who is not as close to him as others, such as his brother or a best friend.
Ask him if there is anyone he might have in mind to replace you.
Ask him who his CLOSEST friend is, and then ask him why that person can't be the best man.
If they both insist that you be the best man, then go speak to the bride IN PRIVATE next. Tell HER how you feel about the situation. Tell her that it should be the groom's decision, and (if you are comfortable enough to discuss this) add in that if she continues making decisions for him, he will begin to build resentment early on, even if he doesn't show it or says "i don't really care." Because inside I am sure he does care, and he's just letting it go to make her happy. That won't last forever. And it's bad for the relationship (speaking from experience here).
If they STILL insist, then suggest that the groom get to choose the bridesmaid out of one of his friends, WITHOUT the brides influence on his decision.
Sorry for the wall of text, this guy just sounds a lot like me. Shane02pro5 there has a strong point, and I agree with it. He seems to be laid back, and he loves her, and doesn't like conflict. He just lets things go even if they bother him inside in order to avoid an argument. She can be a very good arguer, which could exacerbate the situation, causing him to avoid more conflict. Again, speaking from experience. I'm telling you, it may even be better for them to get into a fight now, because if he holds it in, it might come out years from now.
Ex. "You won't let me go to the Mets game!? What the #$^%! You never let me do anything! You didn't even let me choose my own $%#^@ best man! I'll NEVER get to do that again!" .........you get the idea.
Tell him to stick in her pooper. That will straighten her right out. Takes all the fight out of them.
If she is running the relationship then she is running their sex life. Needs less making love and more crazy porno sex. Show her who's boss, get the cops called on you for noise disturbances and then see who is running it. Hit is like it owes you money.
Then, if you are going to be the best man take him to a bunch of strip clubs and get him dances from ugly chicks. She'll get mad about the clubs until she hears that a chick with one leg gave him a lap dance. I have been the best man a few times and I don't get the good looking ones for the groom. Those are for his buddies. Fat, disabled, whatever, make it happen.
If she is running the relationship then she is running their sex life. Needs less making love and more crazy porno sex. Show her who's boss, get the cops called on you for noise disturbances and then see who is running it. Hit is like it owes you money.
Then, if you are going to be the best man take him to a bunch of strip clubs and get him dances from ugly chicks. She'll get mad about the clubs until she hears that a chick with one leg gave him a lap dance. I have been the best man a few times and I don't get the good looking ones for the groom. Those are for his buddies. Fat, disabled, whatever, make it happen.
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- '13 CWP MS3 & '16 Mazda6 GT
ugh, nothings worse than the stripper some buddies and I were witness to....she was not a small girl....was wearing a spandex dress which didnt help...plus she had a ******* cast on her arm...we tried to give her a $1 so she'd go away but to our dismay she took the dollar from us by tring to deep throat the thing along w/ our finger....yeah....gross...
Tell him to stick in her pooper. That will straighten her right out. Takes all the fight out of them.
If she is running the relationship then she is running their sex life. Needs less making love and more crazy porno sex. Show her who's boss, get the cops called on you for noise disturbances and then see who is running it. Hit is like it owes you money.
Then, if you are going to be the best man take him to a bunch of strip clubs and get him dances from ugly chicks. She'll get mad about the clubs until she hears that a chick with one leg gave him a lap dance. I have been the best man a few times and I don't get the good looking ones for the groom. Those are for his buddies. Fat, disabled, whatever, make it happen.
Ok. Here's my two cents and how i see it.
1) He doesn't care about the wedding, he cares about the sex afterward.
She cares about the wedding, and is anxious to get everything ready early so there are no mix ups later.
2) Yes, she MAY be in control of the relationship. In other words, he's whipped, he'll do anything she says because he is insecure or for whatever reason there may be.
3) He might not have someone to pick for the best man.
I think you should let HIM know how you feel IN PRIVATE, without his fiancee around to sway his response. That way, he'll give you a straight answer.
Tell him that you feel the best man is too much of a responsibility for someone who is not as close to him as others, such as his brother or a best friend.
Ask him if there is anyone he might have in mind to replace you.
Ask him who his CLOSEST friend is, and then ask him why that person can't be the best man.
If they both insist that you be the best man, then go speak to the bride IN PRIVATE next. Tell HER how you feel about the situation. Tell her that it should be the groom's decision, and (if you are comfortable enough to discuss this) add in that if she continues making decisions for him, he will begin to build resentment early on, even if he doesn't show it or says "i don't really care." Because inside I am sure he does care, and he's just letting it go to make her happy. That won't last forever. And it's bad for the relationship (speaking from experience here).
If they STILL insist, then suggest that the groom get to choose the bridesmaid out of one of his friends, WITHOUT the brides influence on his decision.
Sorry for the wall of text, this guy just sounds a lot like me. Shane02pro5 there has a strong point, and I agree with it. He seems to be laid back, and he loves her, and doesn't like conflict. He just lets things go even if they bother him inside in order to avoid an argument. She can be a very good arguer, which could exacerbate the situation, causing him to avoid more conflict. Again, speaking from experience. I'm telling you, it may even be better for them to get into a fight now, because if he holds it in, it might come out years from now.
Ex. "You won't let me go to the Mets game!? What the #$^%! You never let me do anything! You didn't even let me choose my own $%#^@ best man! I'll NEVER get to do that again!" .........you get the idea.
i was thinking of doing something like this. Thanks for reinforcing that option.
i really hate that i may be the reason for a fight. i don't think i have ever seen them mad at each other. but it is probably for the best to get this out of the way now.
Thanks
ugh, nothings worse than the stripper some buddies and I were witness to....she was not a small girl....was wearing a spandex dress which didnt help...plus she had a ******* cast on her arm...we tried to give her a $1 so she'd go away but to our dismay she took the dollar from us by tring to deep throat the thing along w/ our finger....yeah....gross...
(rofl)
Omg, the visual....
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