not to get all philosophical, BUT.... I have battled suicide, irresponsibility, controlled substance abuse, illegal drug abuse, alcoholism, depression, insomnia, AD/HD and probably a thousand other "labels" that I just can't remember right now. When I was a kid, my parents used to use my friends against me. I remember the one time my mom said to me, "Think about how upset your friends would be if you did kill yourself." That one kept me in check for a good week. It didn't stop me from trying again, but it did delay it (attempts, obviously).
I used think that people were lying when they said that suicide never crossed their minds. It crossed mine all the time. Still does occasionally. Then I got in the habit of escape. Anything to take my mind off "reality" was worth atleast one try... more than not, it was used repeatedly. I remember a thought that always stopped me, I remember thinking, "If I do go through with this, than I'm chickening out, taking the easy way out." That worked for a while. But the ultimate epiphany was when I realized that life is just too ******* short to begin with.
I'm pushing 30 right now, while most people are well in their careers with spouses and kids and such, I'm still sitting here contemplating life. I hate saying this, and this is one of the few times I can, but unless thoughts of "checking out" have crossed your mind, you will not understand. I don't wish those thoughts on my most mortal of enemies. I personally don't know if there is anything after... I lack conclusive evidence to support either side. What I do know is that life is precious. And it goes by too fast. The human body can go through alot of trauma and pain, yet on the other hand, it is so easy for life to be snuffed out. Meanwhile, we are sooooo busy worrying about bills and cars and food and shelter and all these other things that we forget that as of right now, we are the only planet in a universe of billions of possible planets that has this thing we have termed life. Everything on this planet is unique. Sure, there are 6+ billion people, but as of right now (meaning pre-cloning) every person is still an individual. And regardless of the reasons, and regardless of kin and "responsibility" (a term I despise, yet I use loosely here), everyone faces their maker by themselves. If he made peace with his actions and had nothing else to offer to this world, than this death was not untimely. It is not our place to cry and b**** and moan and pout about "what could have been" or "think about his child". I don't mean to burst anyone's bubbles, but it is important to note that actors are human. We have stress and jealousy and love and anger and every other emotion that "normal" people have. The famous ones aren't necessarily rich, but they ARE always under the scrutiny of the media.
The real tragedy is that if he wasn't a super star, this thread wouldn't even be here. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who go through this same ordeal every single day and we never hear about it.
Sorry for this long post.... lol, but I'm wasted and all philosophical right now... death has this effect on me. lol don't even get me started on the war....