Greatest E-Bay auction EVAR!!!!!!!!11

^^^haha thats just wrong! althought i guess if he doesn't want her anymore
 
cliffs for those who haven't read the whole auction:

Guy buys car for girl, girl becomes a b****, guy wants to sell car...hilarity ensues
 
GI- said:
cliffs for those who haven't read the whole auction:

Guy buys car for girl, girl becomes a b****, guy wants to sell car...hilarity ensues
Click to expand...
exactly. can i have the girl in your avatar holy s***
 
Micah said:
anyone got a mirror
Click to expand...

Here is the story:

Reason for selling dont get me $*&%$*%$ started but being as PC as possible for decency reasons here we go :

This particular MazdaSpeed Miata was bought as a Happy Birthday present in May 2004 for my then dearly beloved girlfriend whom has since turned out to be an ungrateful, coniving, lying, complaining, ***ch whom Id dearly love to be able to get rid of on an e-Bay auction too. Trouble is they dont allow the auction of people. I think she still qualifies!

The (insert your own expletive) has consistently failed to deliver the goods as promised in her own words Oooh! If I had one of those, you wouldnt have to worry about getting (insert your own acceptable words for the promise of unlimited "body to body contact") Id do you every day of course that has not happened - so Ive decided to take the Mazda back and am selling it to the highest bidder or at least getting payoff for it!

Thats the only form of satisfaction Ill be getting from the deal these days! ;-)

Talk about spoilt rotten. I work my butt off for 12 days out of 14, pulling 12 hour shifts, so that she and her son (not mine part of her baggage) can live in a nice big house, with a nice big yard all expenses paid.

Listen to this bull ****. SHE decided that she didnt have to work as I "obviously" made enough money so she could stay at home. BUT - is the house kept clean and the laundry done? do I even occasionally have a hot meal waiting for me when I get home after a hard days work? not a chance.

The house is a mess, dirty clothes festering in the laundry basket, dirty cups and dishes in the kitchen sink. Nothing vacuumed or cleaned - dust and dirt all over. Jeez!!

Her idea of preparing a meal is to pick up the phone and order delivery!!

Now, with mounting criticism of her inability to perform to an acceptable level, all of a sudden, shes discovered that she has allergies to every darn thing going and she spends all day complaining to anyone that will listen about her headaches, back aches, assorted body aches, and all about the new allergy shes discovered today - in great detail!!

Thats all probably due to that fact that she sits in her big red recliner (which she paid for with my credit card) and naps all day. Poor suffering creature that she is!!

If she was an employee shed have had her pink slip by now!!

Her fat ass son part of the package who is now just 19 and 300lb supposedly has developed high blood pressure and cant exert himself long enough to do anything useful but he can stay out all night every night coming in at 3am bringing his friends with him - waking the house up - dogs barking and then playing Nintendo with his pals until daylight!! Of course they empty anything edible from the refrigerator as well.

He holds down a job (dont know how with the hours he keeps!) and brings home $400.00 a week but do I ever see a penny towards his upkeep?? not a firkin chance!!

Despite requests for at least something to cover his costs from me to his mother - he lives here free of all charges for his food (hes 300lb and eats a horse in one sitting), his electricity usage (he doesnt know how to switch anything off lights and TV burning 24/7) and his laundry - which has to be done at the local commercial laundry as nothing gets done at home (he uses three towels every morning after his 30 minute hot shower and changes all his clothes three times a day)

It cant and wont go on for much longer. It will come as a complete shock to both of them when I withdraw my financial support for their habits!!

Then theres the dogs - - - God knows I love dogs, but these were part of the package deal too.

The dogs just have to sleep on the bed at night as thats what theyre used to. All three of them. I had to buy a King Size Bed so that Id have room to sleep in my own bed when Im at home. Did I mention that I work 12 days out of 14 usually away from home.

The wench and the fat-ass son are at home all the time but what does that matter. Of course, the three dogs poop all over the back yard BUT Im the one who gets bitched at when they step in dog doody in the yard - or in the house. Does anyone remember the Eddie Murphy "RAW" video. "It's furniture now".

They want to know why Im not cleaning it up from the back yard??? Its like why should we do it when youre around???

HELLO!! Im working all day every day and Im not about to go poop scooping around the back yard at night!!

As for selling the MazdaSpeed Miata and leaving the poor girl destitute - its not like Im taking away her only form of transportation. She has a nice Mazda Tribute as her daily driver which I bought and paid for and still cover all the expenses on plus theres a Bronco II in the garage gathering dust.

I know color me stupid but Im waking up!! Slowly at first but gathering speed.

Not too long ago, the fat-ass son and the "wench" conned me into getting him a brand new pretty little VW Jetta TDI supposedly as reliable transportation to get him back and forth to college - which he quit after one semester.

He promised faithfully to pay the note on the Jetta and after 14 months still hasnt coughed up a penny. He only had it a week from new before he wrecked it the first time - - -

Pleading and threats obviously dont work so all the benefits of my support are to be re-evaluted and possibly taken away. First to go is the MazdaSpeed Miata.

ANYWAY.

Someone please do me a favor and buy this pristine little red MazdaSpeed Miata. Then I can say to the silly cow Told You So.

Ill be sorry to see the Miata go as shes the only thing around here that does give what she promises!!

Ante-up guys!! or girls!!

Im setting the first bid at a measly $23K. A bargain at any price!!

All I really want is payoff of the loan Im carrying. Ask me the right question about how much that may be, and Ill see what I can do to give you the right answer.

The lien-holder is AmSouth Bank and payoff will go directly to them. Checks, cashiers, personal, or Capitol One Auto, will have to clear with Amsouth prior to release of the vehicle. With cash we can go straight to the bank, pay off the loan and release the lien.

Happy Bidding.

The only warranty with this vehicle is what is remaining of any transferrable factory warranty. I give no personal warranty expressed or implied.

The vehicle is low original mileage, in excellent condition with no body or engine damage. Any inspection invited.

If you bid and win and are not happy with the vehicle condition after personal inspection I will consider whipping you senseless for being totally insensitive and devoid of all auto-appreciation capability.

I will deliver for $1 per mile measured from my door to yours anywhere in the 48 lower States. No bids accepted from outside the 48 lower States except from Hawaii where the successful bidder from Hawaii will provide living accomodation for me alone in Hawaii, together with a plentiful supply of adult beverages and access to an inexhaustible supply of attractive females whom are willing to listen to me talk in my British accent, and indulge in meaningless short term adult activities. Hey! its worth a shot!!

Female bidders whom may appreciate a hard working man and make good on the previous arrangement for the use of the MazdaSpeed Miata which was dishonored by my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend will be considered also. E-mail me with a photo! ;-)

Deadbeat bidders will be tracked down and dealt with to the full extent of the law preferably 1600s European Feudal System where hanging of criminals and chopping off of body parts was acceptable or whatever State & Federal Laws are applicable and P.C. at this time.

Remember that I have friends in low places . . . .



P.S. Have fun and take the time to smell the flowers - except if you have allergies!! ;-)



ADDED Tuesday March 22, 2005.

Thanks for all the e-mails I'm getting with comments of support, suggestions for therapy, and outright critcism of my "evolving" lifestyle.

While I admit to some embellishment of my current situation in the "story" above - which could make a good "Jerry Springer" episode - there is an element of truth in all of it - as there is in any good story.

The beginning of the last sentence from the original description was "HAVE FUN". . . . . . I try to do just that!!

Take this absolutely true scenario - with witnesses - as an instance.

A few years ago, on my birthday, I found myself in a bar with (1) my current girlfriend, (2) my wife at that time, (3) my recent ex-wife - and (4) the girl I shared an apartment with - and ALL of them were fine with the situation. Now that's a Jerry Springer episode!



ADDED Friday 03/25/20005

That's what I get for buying a vehicle in it's first year!! Apparently the damn thing is worth less than I still owe on it - so if someone wants to make me a serious offer - even though it's below the "opening bid" above - I'll be happy to discuss it with you.

As of today - NADA.com doesn't have a price! I guess NADA stands for No Auto Decision Available!!

Edmunds.com give PP as $21,713.00.

Kelley Blue Book (KBB.com) quotes $19,600.00 for an "LS Miata" - they don't have a listing for the MazdaSpeed model yet!

Make me an offer I can't refuse and we'll talk about a Private Auction after this one expires.



ADDED @ 6:00pm Friday 03/25/2005

Darn! Wish I could charge 50c per hit for this auction - I'd be able to pay off the car and keep it too - talk about having your cake and eating it!!

Alrighty then - y'all need to send me 50c each by Paypal and I'll post some more interesting stories from my life experiences hidden in my future e-bay auctions.

As an appetizer - how about stories from my days working with a World Famous motorcycle racing team - touring the world and a "tell - all" about the race groupies - the after race parties - and other "adult activities" ???

Also, there are tales of flying high with a famous ex-football quarterback and the outrageous parties at his house . . . .

Then there's the story of how I caught one ex-wife in bed with another guy - and the shotgun came out of the closet . . . (it wasn't gay though!) LOL!!



ADDED Saturday March 26, 2005

Due to increasing demand from "my public" (LOL!) I substituted a couple of photos of the car for one of the fat a$$ son and the wench! Enjoy!!<!-- / message --><!-- edit note -->
 
Please log in or register to reply here.

New Posts and Comments

M
Impressions of my 2018 CX-5 GT After 4 yrs of Ownership
Replies
1
Views
402
N7turbo
N7turbo
sm1ke
    • Like
  • Sticky
What have you done to your CX-9 today?
76 77 78
Replies
2K
Views
505K
N7turbo
N7turbo
C
    • Wow
2018 Mazda CX-5 Various Electrical Issues
Replies
15
Views
2K
RedBaron
RedBaron
M
Airvent Rattling
Replies
0
Views
147
Mat328392
M
Y
  • Question Question
2014~2021 Mazda 6 seats
Replies
4
Views
500
YustMii
Y
sm1ke
    • Like
    • Love it!
Mike's 2022 CX-9 Kuro Edition
Replies
15
Views
2K
sm1ke
sm1ke
View more…

New Threads and Articles

Back