Dumbest thing you have ever said to a cop...after getting stopped.

[FlannelBoy711]

I posted an old one a while ago on here, but anyways i was visting home( my bro was with me) for the weekend and i decided to peel out in a parking lot, i didnt see two cops in the corner and i tried to go home cause theres a shorcut behind some buildings near i live. so two cop cars pull us over:

Cop: liscense and registration please
ME: Sure...
Cops: Any reason you were trying to run away from us?
ME: Um i was goin home thats all.
Cop: well i saw you look back and start hauling ass!
ME: You saw all this from 70 ft away?
Cop Step out of the damn car
s***......
We get out,
Cop: whats that smell?
ME: ( i just farted) What does it smell like? (trying not to laugh )
Cop:You been smoking weed?
ME: No officer i dont smoke or drink
Cop i didnt say anything about drinking
ME: I know i was just explaining i am a clean person
Cop: I bet....
Female cop comes up and they start searching us, female cop was really dumb was searching my brother
F Cop: Do you have anything in your pockets?
Bro: Ya my keys and my wallet in my back pocket
F Cop searches....
F Cop: I think i found some of that weed we were smelling
*key jingles*
Bro: And those would be my keys
F cop sorta tucks her head between her ass and leaves. Get off with a warning and probably the stupidest cops ever.

 

[StarvingRussian]

(lol)

 

[mp5jeff]

got pulled over for "signaling racers of a cop"

cop: know why i pulled you over?
me:no i wasn't doing anything wrong
cop: you illegally used your brights to signal racers of a cop
me: haha, is that in the lawbook?
cop: yes it is, you should read up
me: can i see your's??
cop: liscense and registration please...
goes to his car and comes back and tells us to get out of the car and ends up giving me some stupid warning that i threw away.

 

[WRCprotege]

no sir ,mr budwiezer, i only had two officers tonight...lol

 

[VFR pilot]

i don't say much to the officer's when pulled over, then the "thank you" when driving off, i let my atty do all the talking :lol:

 

[srtchick]

(rofl)

 

[FLSilverP5]

I hate cops, and have said many dumb things. One time i left a party and got pulled over for "DUI" ( i didnt drink).
Pig:What's your address?
Me:It says right there on my license!
Pig: I cant read it tho, i dont have my glasses
Me: SO GET GLASSES.
later in the convo the cop lafs at me for driving mommy's X5. So i reply nicer then ur peice of s***. One pig walks away pissed, another resonds i dont think so i got a corvette, I reply "I got an M5, I WIN!" so after alot of mouthing off he threatens to arrest me, i dont listen he sends me across the street, I yell "I can still talk from here asshole" (not a good idea kept me there for 1 1/2 hours and were gonna give me a ticket for failure to dim my headlights.

Another time i saw i cop at Denny's at 2 in the morning, walk up to him and say "Are you on break? THEN STOP WASTEING MY TAX DOLLARS!!" wow was he mad.

My friend got pulled over for speeding, the cop asked him "Why were u going so fast", my friend replies hastily "Cuz i didnt c u", cop lafed so hard he let him off.

Different friend gets pulled over by a fat cop (arent they all) the cop starts yelling at him "YOu crazy ****, you were going 88 in a 45 zone!" The kid asks to see the laser The cop brings it over but drops it, the kid starts lafing, goes where's ur proof? and leaves the cop didnt even try and stop him.

FUNNY JOKE Tell it to a cop wen u get pulled over
A guy gets pulled over for going 30 over. The cop asks why were u going so fast. The man replies "sorry sir, i am a doctor and there is an emergeny at the office" What kind of doctor? asks the cop. "An asshole doctor" The cop asks an asshole doctor? Whats an asshole doctor?" The man replies "Well, you see ppl come to me with really small assholes, and slowly we enlarge them, the first appointment is a few inches and everytime more, eventually we get them to 6 feet" "OMG! 6 foot assholes! What do u do with 6 foot asshole asks the cop?" "Why, we give them radar guns, put them on the side of the road and let them pull ppl over!"

My bro got pulled over one time the cop asks to see his registration he opens hsi glove box and like 25 tickets fall out, the cop asks are those all urs? MY bro replies yep. The cop goes have a nice day and let him go. LOL (uhm)

 

[Bass Addict]

A friend of our family got pulled over one morning as he was late for work because he overslept. He was speeding to try to get there on time. The cop pulled him over and walked up to the car and said, "Sir, your eyes look a little bloodshot, have you been drinking?" Of course,he hadn't been drinking he just hadn't been awake that long and was half asleep. Our friend replied "Well, officer....your eyes seems a little glazed have you been eating doughnuts?" Haha, true story. He didn't get a ticket though.

 

[MidnightDreamer]

lol... crazy funny storries... I drive the car 4 or 5 times a week, and I speed 20kph over the limit almost almost everywhere I go cept the deerfoot... 3yrs, and I've only got 1 ticket from those photoradars... But a few days ago was proally my closest call... I'm doin about 80 in a 60 zone near my community, and as soon as I pop over a ridge there's a cop there gunning ppl down... I hit the brakes to try and smooth the speed down, but as I got closer I saw the cop was letting some kids try the gun out, and he didn't seem to notice me... Damn lucky if you ask me...

 

[SuperWagon502]

I was speeding in Monroe county GA on my way to fayetteville. ok so i was doin 80 in a 45 <HUGE fine> and I pulled over after the cop came up on my ass about 1 min later. Slow turn around I guess. anyway here we go

COP: "SON, do you have ANY idea how fast you were going?"

ME: "Well, considering you caught me I guess not fast enough."

COP: "Listen boy being a smartass only makes me wan tto give you as many citations as i can right now."

ME" Well I've only got car payments and Insurance payments so what else should I spend my extra on?"

 

[WRCprotege]

my buddy and i where in his miata, we had just put on an lighten flywheel, header and poly bushings in his car and took it out for a test run, where on the express way, racing another miata (our other buddy and we are winning) doing 120ish in semi traffic.. when i notice our friend slams on the brakes and we leave him hurry.. i was like WTF and look over next to us an a KY state trooper in his camaro Z28 SS was on us before i could say oh s***!!! preparing for the worst, the cop comes up with a big smile and says, i just saw you woopin someones ass! my freind- yaaa, i just put some performance stuff on and wanted to see what it would do.. cop laughed and started talking cars with us for like 10 min.. he said that we just gave him a good reason to get on it..he told us to take it easy and let us go.. i said to my bud, we just did 120 in and out of traffic, racing!, and got pulled over, and where not in jail or got any tickets, smokey just wanted to cut the SS loose.. HELL YA! lol

 

[mdagost103]

Im taking an rx-8 out for a test drive this morning was thinking about getting one. Im doing about 70 on the highway no big deal in my town people passing left and right. Im curising and decide to punch it see what it can really do. Well before i know it im doing 130mph on the highway. Salesperson says to me i think we missed the turn. Said to him thats not the problem. Look in the rearview. No tickets just a warning.

 

[SilvrProtege5NJ]

I have to say, alot of the stories here are entertaining. But some of them seem alittle far off. Like telling a female officer, "nice tits"... riiiight..

or

Pig:What's your address?
Me:It says right there on my license!
Pig: I cant read it tho, i dont have my glasses
Me: SO GET GLASSES.
later in the convo the cop lafs at me for driving mommy's X5. So i reply nicer then ur peice of s***. One pig walks away pissed, another resonds i dont think so i got a corvette, I reply "I got an M5, I WIN!" so after alot of mouthing off he threatens to arrest me, i dont listen he sends me across the street, I yell "I can still talk from here asshole"


Sounds sketchy.. Try that s*** in Jersey... My cousin is a cop and he would have dragged you out of the car...


lol

 

[EviLMaN]

yea some do sound sketchy.... but my gf dad is a cop and he is coool as hell and i guess they were lucky and got cops that are amused easy lol

 

[batmang]

" I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that. "


dave chappele rules.

 

[PhreakV]

" I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that. "
dave chappele rules.

buckle up baby! (burnout)

 

[andyfatsax]

"Are you gonna hurry up and give me a ticket or what? Can't you see I'm in a hurry?"

Don't say that cause he will make you even later then you were already!

 

[orange330]

why would he touch the rear tire when integras are fwd

DUH!

 

[Togan]

whoa i was close to being pulled over yesterday, i drove 80km in 50km zone and a cop car passed from the opposite direction i thought he was gonna turn around

 

[simdrew]

Drive it like you stole it!

I don't really think I said anything dumb, but here's a story...

I accelerated fast (didn't spin the tires tho), and then took a turn (without slowing down). It wasn't much farther that I got pulled over and the cop asked me "do you know how fast you were going?"
Me: "I was going 35, wasn't the speed limit 35 on that road?"
Cop: "Yes it is. Where are you coming from?"
Me: "My friend's house"
Cop: "Were you having a party there?"
Me: "Nope, just watching tv"
Cop: "where are you going?"
Me: "Just heading home, to the apartment"
Then the cop sees tools and wires all over the floor (I had been putting in an air/fuel gauge).
Cop: "What's that stuff?"
Me: "Just wires and stuff"
Cop: "Is this your car?" (<-thinking I had hotwired it)
Me: "Yes sir"
Cop: "If you let me search your car and I don't find anything, I'll let you go with a warning"
Me: "OK!" (angel)
I have to get into the back and sit there while he looks for drugs or god knows what. He finally comes back tells me to 'slow it down' and lets me go.
I think I got cut a deal because I looked suspicious. (uhm) (naughty)