Anyone been through a divorce before?
- Thread starter Speed3girl
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Speed3girl
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- speed 3
I thought you were going into a good thing here?
Speed3girl
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Oh i know you were kidding. Just didn't know where that came from
Speed3girl
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I suck!! Sorry.
Amen Killer. Just like you my first marriage ended,but I lasted almost 3 years. She took me down to nothing. I mean constant bad luck. The woman has a black cloud over her head. I'll always remember the day she said she was leaving. I got hired running a restaurant making more money,at that time,than I did before. For me the clouds disappeared and the sun was shining. That was back in '93. Since I have custody of our son who is 16 now,he was 2 when I took custody. I'm on my second marriage now. 11 years together and 11 years married come April. I knew she was the one when I looked into her eyes....love at first sight.
And just like you I got dumped for another guy....a ******' midget dude. My ex was 6 foot tall!! Best damn thing that happened to me! Thanks Mr. Midget!
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wow.. you guys just got married.. just make sure you know what you are doing and you aren't throwing in the towel too early.
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Speed3girl
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Oh I know. We have been married only a year and a half but together since we were 15. So we have basically been married the whole time. I know what I am doing. 
I was with my wife (gf at the time obviously) for about 5-6 years before we got married... while things were the same in terms of the exclusive nature of the relationship and what not, marriage definitely brings a lot of changes. 1st, you're obviously living with one another. I doubt you were living with him at 15... But more importantly, I think it changes people psychologically. Suddenly you feel (which is obviously absurd) that the other person aint goin anywhere.... when you're dating, one can just say adios and that's that. Clearly our society makes it pretty easy to get divorced.... (otherwise the rate wouldn't/couldn't be as high) but it's still a pain in the ass... so we end up taking the other for granted for that and many other reasons... next thing you know, the Big D hits.
that's why, if I could afford it and there weren't kids involved, I think living apart (assuming you're still relatively close) would be ideal for certain types of couples... you'd be married but sort of act like you're still dating. you'd rarely see the other at their worst... and i think both sides would put more effort in to making it work. but obviously that's absurd... so you end up falling into 1 of 3 categories.
the 1st is the most rare of course... the almost ridiculously happy couple. most times, they're comprised of easy going types that rarely push the others buttons.... I actually know a few like this and... ugh.... they're so boring!! lol
2nd is clearly the most popular... constant ups and downs... yet they stay together.... good outweighs the bad...even if it's only by a little.
3rd... people that, for legit (or not so legit) reasons decide to bail.... maybe the guy likes to wear white tank tops.... or maybe homez thinks he can do a lot better
that's why, if I could afford it and there weren't kids involved, I think living apart (assuming you're still relatively close) would be ideal for certain types of couples... you'd be married but sort of act like you're still dating. you'd rarely see the other at their worst... and i think both sides would put more effort in to making it work. but obviously that's absurd... so you end up falling into 1 of 3 categories.
the 1st is the most rare of course... the almost ridiculously happy couple. most times, they're comprised of easy going types that rarely push the others buttons.... I actually know a few like this and... ugh.... they're so boring!! lol
2nd is clearly the most popular... constant ups and downs... yet they stay together.... good outweighs the bad...even if it's only by a little.
3rd... people that, for legit (or not so legit) reasons decide to bail.... maybe the guy likes to wear white tank tops.... or maybe homez thinks he can do a lot better
Ugh. This makes me sad.
I have been on the brink of divorce once or twice, so here's an excellent book to help your next relationship: The Five Love Languages. Written by Gary Chapman. This book is for men and women to read. I was having issues 1 year into my marriage and this book helped mend certain aspects of my marriage. Been married for five now, things aint always peachy, but hell, we work through it.
Good luck.
Men can also read: Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge.
I have been on the brink of divorce once or twice, so here's an excellent book to help your next relationship: The Five Love Languages. Written by Gary Chapman. This book is for men and women to read. I was having issues 1 year into my marriage and this book helped mend certain aspects of my marriage. Been married for five now, things aint always peachy, but hell, we work through it.
Good luck.
Men can also read: Wild At Heart, by John Eldredge.
haha, my wife and I were farting on each other 3 months into dating hahahaha
I guess I have different views on the term marriage. Personally I dont believe in it at all. I did once upon a time though when I was super young (I still am kinda 24 years old now) but one of my best friends at the time made some really good points and after seeing one marriage fail after the other, it kinda just hit me. To me all marriage is, is a peice of paper that says ok you get all my stuff when I die or ok you get half of the stuff that was accumulated during the marriage. I dont need a peice of paper to prove that I love someone. I can do that just fine with other ways of affection. And really all marriage does is complicate things. Its just not for me and my personal option. If marriage is for you... then cool and I think you should be together @ least 3 years and live together for @ least a year. I saw a quote by another member here that said it all and it was "You dont really know someone until you have lived with them". Most honest quote I think Ive ever heard.
oh god not the farting coversation again lmao.
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Speed3girl
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I understand what you guys are saying. It is a sad thing. I didn't mean for this to happen. I feel horrible for it. But at this point in my life I can't go on making someone else happy if I myself is not happy. You know?
So I will be selling the house (i pray i can sell it) or doing whatever I have to to get out of it. I can't afford it on my own. And then figuring out the rest of my life.
So I will be selling the house (i pray i can sell it) or doing whatever I have to to get out of it. I can't afford it on my own. And then figuring out the rest of my life.
Speed3girl
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Oh yes he is a cutie.
I have 2 of them.
I have 2 of them.
